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Original poster

To put a holiday before trying for second child

21 replies

ducksandacorns · 03/02/2019 14:30

We have just booked an abroad holiday for July. We have one child (4yo) and have had two recent miscarriages (Oct 18 - miscarriage at 5 weeks and Jan 19 - missed miscarriage at 10 weeks)

I really feel that I could do with a 'break' from TTC until after the holiday, I'm worried that if the worst happens again, we will be in an unfamiliar country far away from home and familiar health care.

However I am 34 and am worrying about the risks that go alongside getting older and TTC. The gap is going to be big between our child and any future sibling, will a few more months make a difference or shall we just try again now?

I can't lie, the thought of wine on the balcony in July is appealing! But am I being selfish?

OP posts:
glastogal · 03/02/2019 14:37

34 is still young enough that you can have a few months off if you feel you need them. I'm so sorry to hear about your MC Thanks I think you should go and enjoy your holiday and worried about TTC later in the year.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 03/02/2019 14:39

Go on holiday

EmUntitled · 03/02/2019 14:46

Take a break, look after your mental health. Enjoy your holiday without worrying about TTC or being in the early stages of pregnancy.

bananamonkey · 03/02/2019 15:11

Sounds like you could do with the break, enjoy your holiday Flowers

LtJudyHopps · 03/02/2019 15:20

It doesn’t sound selfish it sounds like self care which is exactly what you need! Enjoy the holiday, don’t worry about age gaps and come back refreshed Smile

Original poster
ducksandacorns · 03/02/2019 15:53

Thank you all. I definitely do need a break and a holiday without pregnancy drama but would hate myself if the break impacted negatively on our chance for baby number two. Parenting guilt for a child we don't even have yet!

OP posts:
EhlanaOfElenia · 03/02/2019 16:06

You're not putting a 'holiday' before trying for a second child, you are putting your 'mental health' before trying for a second child. Big difference!!!

Chocolatecheeks111 · 03/02/2019 16:08

Sounds like you need a holiday... you will come back both feeling refreshed and ready to ttc... just what the body needs before trying!

ElspethFlashman · 03/02/2019 16:08

At 34 I'd go on the holiday and have an absolute ball.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 03/02/2019 16:09

As someone who tried and failed to have children, I learnt fairly quickly never to put anything on hold "In case I get pregnant". Enjoy your holiday Smile

TheMallard · 03/02/2019 16:49

Have the break and look after yourself.

I had a MMC abroad. Even though the care was excellent and I spoke the language, it felt like it wouldn't have been quite so hard at home,

Coxie2006 · 03/02/2019 17:39

Go on the holiday,it sounds like you need the break. X

Original poster
ducksandacorns · 04/02/2019 10:03

Thank you everyone

OP posts:
practicallyperfectmummy · 04/02/2019 11:04

I enjoyed a lovely family holiday over the summer, all inclusive cocktails & sunshine! Also wanted to try and conceive so it was delayed until after the holiday. So glad we had the holiday first as I didn't have the yuck early pregnancy tiredness or sickness and could enjoy running about after my children. It was so hot also would of been really uncomfortable. I was also worried about delaying as im pushing 40 but am now over 20 weeks pregnant and so glad we had the wonderful holiday to look back on and tried once we returned. Book your holiday and enjoy!

Original poster
ducksandacorns · 04/02/2019 20:54

@practicallyperfectmummy thank you for your encouragement! And congratulations on your pregnancy.

Holiday booked!

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 04/02/2019 20:58

I’m doing similar; if it wasn’t for our holiday in the summer we’d probably start trying for second DC much earlier this year but after a high risk first pregnancy I don’t want to risk being abroad or spoiling a holiday for our DD

TheABC · 04/02/2019 21:02

Please enjoy your holiday. It sounds like you need a break and possibly some romantic time with your partner without thinking about TTC. Have a ball!

BudgiePie · 04/02/2019 21:06

I conceived on holiday after years of trying with no luck. It was a boozy relaxed holiday. I've now got a 2 year old upstairs asleep Smile so go,be boozy,have unprotected sex,relax. See what happens. Between now and then if you have protected sex to save you any angst then do that! 34 is still young.

mindutopia · 04/02/2019 21:09

Gosh, no, go and enjoy! My dh and I and our dc1 went on holiday after I had a mc. It was lovely to have the break and be able to relax and enjoy (quite a lot of) wine. Our second dc was conceived on that trip. I was 37 at the time.

anniehm · 04/02/2019 21:17

Your body will benefit from the break, allowing you to rebuild vitamin and mineral stores etc. You are still quite young so six months won't make any difference

practicallyperfectmummy · 04/02/2019 21:43

Yay to booking it! Hope you have a wonderful time and enjoy the relaxation. Thank you also.

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