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Original poster

Want him back now but he's confused please HELP!

20 replies

Iamlondon2019 · 03/02/2019 13:45

I split up with my ex in November 2017, we were arguing a lot, I thought I didn’t love him anymore and he moved out in the summer. He was heartbroken and begged me for another chance, after having some time apart I’ve realised I still do love him and now want him back. He says he doesn’t know if he loves me but still have some feelings for me. He’s confused and doesn’t know what to do, he’s asked for some time to think. He’s also been in another relationship since then but they’re not together anymore.

I know I should give him some space to think, but I feel like if he truly loved me he wouldn’t need time to think and would know? But then again I’m like, it’s my own fault I was the one who didn’t want to be with him and told him I didn’t love him, and he’s sort of “forced himself to move on” ( his words) and now I want him back.

I’m just scared he’s gonna come back saying he doesn’t want to be with me and I will look like an idiot for breaking up with him first and then being rejected.

OP posts:
Queenofthestress · 03/02/2019 13:46

Leave the poor bloke alone instead of being a headfuck, not surprised he wants space!

SleepWarrior · 03/02/2019 13:49

Yikes, it shouldn't be this hard work.

Assuming there's no marriage or kids I would just forget the whole thing - there is much better out there. All that arguing and feeling like you don't love him would quickly come back.

Shallishanti123 · 03/02/2019 13:49

Do you really want him or do you want him because you can’t have him?

Mycathatesme · 03/02/2019 13:51

So your main concern is you would look like an idiot? Bizarre.

Jackshouse · 03/02/2019 13:54

November 2017! It’s time you moved on.

Thymeout · 03/02/2019 14:05

If you really loved him, you wouldn't have made him leave. So no wonder he wants time to think about getting together again, just because you've changed your mind.

Leave him alone. Don't try to persuade him. You've told him how you feel, but you show no appreciation of how he felt when he had to share accommodation with you when he was 'heartbroken' about being dumped.

Drogosnextwife · 03/02/2019 14:05

God you sound childish!

OMGithurts · 03/02/2019 14:07

So it took you almost a year and a half to decide you want him but he ought to drop everything and come running Right Now? Sod that. Hope he stays well clear.

Dotty1970 · 03/02/2019 14:07

What you argued about.... Would that still be there?
Leave him alone if it would, it sounds like you only want him because he's moving on which is a head fuck

Hugglessnuggles · 03/02/2019 14:07

Just walk away. No wonder he hasn’t come
running back to you.Hmm

FigandVanilla · 03/02/2019 14:08

You’re getting a hard time here and I’m not sure it’s totally fair!

You do need to give him space. In a way he is going though what you already did - not being sure about his feelings. He may decide he does still love you, he may not. Either way you were brave to put your feelings on the line, and at least once you know there won’t be a ‘what if’.

Dotty1970 · 03/02/2019 14:09

Your selfishly bothered about looking like an idiot and being rejected!
How old are you

RedLife · 03/02/2019 14:09

Your op comes across as all you're bothered about is not looking like an idiot. Yes it's your own fault and you only want him because he had someone else. Leave him be. Let him be happy.

Singlenotsingle · 03/02/2019 14:11

You could go back to the begining and see how you get on. It's not really a case of picking up where you left off, is it?

Parthenope · 03/02/2019 14:15

What an odd post. You decided you didn't love him, and broke up with him, and a year and a half later, after he's moved on and had another relationship, you decide you want him back and are now cross that he's not leaping at your offer?

PerverseConverse · 03/02/2019 14:40

Ask yourself honestly why you want him back after all this time. My bet is better the devil you know as you've not found anyone else and are jealous of the fact he did.

propertywoe · 03/02/2019 14:50

Just got the beautiful south song “I need a little time” going through my head.

Livelovebehappy · 03/02/2019 15:11

Sometimes happens that the one who is left devastated after a split, then moves on and realises that they are happier. Sounds like he may enjoy his single life now and is trying to let you down gently. Otherwise he would have snapped your hand off if he was still not over the end of your relationship. Leave him to decide - the ball is now in his court.

Original poster
Iamlondon2019 · 03/02/2019 15:24

I know it's my fault, and unfortunately it's one of those things where you don't realise what you had until it's gone. I'm going to give him the space he needs and let him decide what he wants.

OP posts:
Fabaunt · 03/02/2019 15:33

Leave him alone and move on. He sounds like he’s out the other side of a shit relationship, which couldn’t have been easy for him. If you care about him at all leave him alone

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