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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in not going on this hen weekend??

17 replies

pedilia · 03/07/2007 12:56

One of my best friends is getting married and I am the matron of honour, we discussed a hen weekend and she said the bridesmaid had suggested a weekend away in Malaga, I stated that it was her choice as her weekend but with three small children (baby is six months) I would rather not go abroad.

Bridesmaid went ahead and booked anyway for the two of them, it is the weekend after we move house and I am still breastfeeding, neither my friend or bridesmaid have children and are both heavy drinkers (cue being p*ed whole weekend) and to top it off we are staying with a male rep!!

Would I be totally out or order if i didn't go??

OP posts:

binkleandflip · 03/07/2007 12:57

No, you already said you didnt want to

BBBleedingGumsMurphy · 03/07/2007 12:58

it would be totally out of order if you did go.

tigerschick · 03/07/2007 13:00

No. Don't go and don't feel guilty about not going.

WideWebWitch · 03/07/2007 13:01

No, don't go, mad imo. Hen parties are out of control.

2Happy · 03/07/2007 13:02

No, not at all. Have had similar problem recently with hen do revolving around alcohol and I just didn't want to do it as I would have to keep dashing back and forth feeding ds2 etc (I don't express well). Felt mean, then felt meaner because it looked like we wouldn't be going to the wedding since she was stipulating no kids and I'm not trekking ll that way and paying for dh to sit in a hotel with ds2 while I dash back and forth again. I (in an entirely biased and grumpy fashion) think people who stipulate no kids at functions are the unreasonable ones!!

And I think hen do's are out of control - so expensive....damn am really starting to rant sorry no YANBU at all is all I meant to say!!

Original poster

pedilia · 03/07/2007 13:02

thanks guys- just gearing myself up to make the phonecall

OP posts:

RubySlippers · 03/07/2007 13:03

no you wouldn't be out of order
you said you would prefer not to go and they did it anyway

Tommy · 03/07/2007 13:06

good luck - YANBU at all

Your friend is and if she really wanted you at the hen do, then she would have arranged it so you could come

mylittleman · 03/07/2007 13:06

I had a similar situation with my sister except I only have one baby and not three. I did go on the hen night for 2 nights and left enough expressed milk as was required. I was dreading it in a way cos didnt want to leave ds or dp but I actually had a great time (despite having to pump every three hours). All other hens were non mums so they didn't really get it but I still had a nice time. Was ready to come home by the second night though. My sis would have been mega upset if I didn't go and we also had a bit of a bust up about it but overall I am glad I went and it was nice for dp to have a bit of bonding time with ds and nice for me to feel like a person again and not just a mummy.
Having said that, you defo shouldn't feel guilty if you don't want to go.

Blackduck · 03/07/2007 13:07

What is this thing with Hen WEEKENDS? Whats wrong with a simple night out [puzzled]

DrunkenSailor · 03/07/2007 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 03/07/2007 13:14

They don't have children and they won't understand until they do.

I think it's entirely up to the bride how she wants to spend her hen night/weekend. But having said that, she knew you didn't want to go abroad and went ahead with booking it anyway. So sounds like the trip abroad is more important to her than having you there... which is fine... and means you have nothing to feel guilty about when you tell her you're not going!

Original poster

pedilia · 03/07/2007 13:21

I had already suggested they come and stay at mine for the weekend and DH offered to stay at his sisters with the kids.

I know I will end up resnenting being there especially as the airport is half an hour from there house but 2 hours from mine and they fly back in at 2am MONDAY morning, I start work at 8.
My weekends are precious and don't see why I should give it up for somthing I don't want to do

blackduck-exactly my thoughts!

OP posts:

worzsel · 03/07/2007 14:44

No Yanbu atall.

My Bil and sil to be are getting married soon and i have been invited to her hen night but it costs £100 each ! i cant afford to go and have seen the menu and it isnt all that anyway, certainly not £100s worth !

What ever happened to just going out for a nice meal, some drinks and a bit of a knees up ?

BarbieLovesKen · 03/07/2007 14:59

No, not unreasonable at all.

She would be ridiculous not to completely understand.

I wouldnt go.

Congrats on baby!! xx

Electroma · 03/07/2007 15:14

it is in no way unreasonable. not at all.

BUT - are you sure you dont want to go?

Its only a weekend, you would probably really enjoy it and its nice to get a break, no? Especially with 3 kids and a house move!

I've had lots of weekends away from DS, and a week long holiday last year, and another one booked for this year.

Sometimes we need to be 'one of the girls', not just a mum!

Original poster

pedilia · 03/07/2007 20:32

Well I have told her and she understands, I have said I will go stay with her before the wedding for a weekend

Electroma- I am sure I don't want to go, I do have 'me' time, my horse is my greatest passion(after the kids,before DH)

Even without the kids the idea of a very drunk 18-30 weekend im shagaluf fills me with horror(not even a nice hotel, sharing an apartment with the rep and his 5 flatmates), if it had been a weekend here I may have gone.

Thanks mumsnetters

OP posts:

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