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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DSS been telling us one thing and His mother another.

3 replies

highheelandheadheldhigh · 02/02/2019 22:36

Been having ongoing issues with DSS, partly mother withdrawing access partly DSS not wanting to come.
DSS has told his mum he thinks I'm a bully. But when we ask he says I'm not. So we were never sure if that's how he really feels or not. DH has tried speaking to him alone and with me, answer is always the same. I'm not. Yesterday I asked if he has ever told his mum that I'm a bully. The answer was yes.
He says I send him to bed at the same time as a 5 year old. Completely untrue. He more often than not is up with us til 10. He had football the next day I suggest getting into PJ's around 9/9:30 and reading in bed to chill a few months ago. (DH was out) and he thinks this is what always happens. (It isn't) DH is very lenient with him, I'll occasionally ask him to do a few things around the house. He also sees this as bullying. Currently he won't stay 24 hours with us. (Currently going legal) We are trying to plan a holiday, but DH has said he needs to be with us longer before we know he'll be comfortable away for a week. DSS said fine, I won't come then. He really struggles to talk about his feelings. Won't answer DH when asked how he is feeling etc. He gets 101 time with DH frequently, but we are trying to get him realise that it can't just be him and DH all the time. I'm feeling really pushed out by him and he's creating issues that aren't there. He is not quite a teen yet, been with DH 10 years.

OP posts:
TORDEVAN · 02/02/2019 23:27

do you and his mother get on?

could his mother be steering him towards this view?

highheelandheadheldhigh · 02/02/2019 23:37

Mother and I used to tolerate each other for the sake of DSS. But I recently severed ties with her due to her behaviour.

OP posts:
BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 02/02/2019 23:41

I didn't think my eldest could ever be anything than lovely albeit aloof and typically ADHD. Nice, pleasant, kind, etc.

But she slipped up when I collected her from her dads one day and I discovered she could exhibit manipulate behaviour of she wanted to. It was because she didn't want to leave him (they had a strong bond).

Sounds like your DSS is trying to be difficult in purpose, unless you're not telling us something.

It might even be because there's tension between you all and he's insecure.

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