Every Other Weekend Fiasco: AIBU?

[halfyorkshiremanhalfessexgirl]

Recent actual separation (Sept) - exdp has agreed to have our dds 10 & 12 AOW but only from 10am Sat to Sunday afternoon.
Real shame he cant do more, he has new house, bedroom for them, still hasnt put their bed up even though one my friends dropped one off fpr him.
Anyway last weekend was meant to be his but he was unhappy because dd 12 had planned to go on a sleepover with her school friends. This was arranged independent of me I said ask dad etc. He accused me of organsing it, and 'gave the kids back' when they all aw me in town. texted me to say 'arrange for next weekend'

But when I tool them around today in the SNOW on foot with all their stuff he was suprised and said he wsnt expecting.

He hardly gave them the time of day, wouldnt speak to me. i banged on the door to show him the test he had sent.

he said he would call the police.

I left with dds. One crying.

So am I unreasonable expecting this was happening?
Btw -We have now had an lovely Saturday together on a snowy walk with friends.

Wow what a fucking arsehole.

I'd stop taking them over. Just tell him that they will be available for pickup from your place at 10am on every second Saturday, and if he's not there by 10:30 you will assume he is not picking up and go out accordingly. It's a pretty safe bet that he just won't bother. Your poor girls.

What a prick.

goodplan midnite. I did accidentally call him a bad word in front of the kids. I try not to do that.

Sorry for the typos in my OP - I was just releasing my frustration and pressed send and forgot to edit it!

Agree, stop taking them over.
Tell him pick up and drop off times.
If he is not there within half hour of agreed time and has not sent a message, you will assume he is not coming.

What a wanker.
They are old enough now to decide if they want to see him.
While you can't bad mouth him I would try to empower them not to tolerate abusive behaviour.

So due to his behaviour they are not obligated to do anything to please him. They are right to be angry. They are right to be upset and they are damn well due a heart felt apology from him.

Send him one text saying that if he wishes to see the girl he contacts them and he collects them and drops them off. Then I'd bore every message he sends.

Document! Make a written note of the sleepover issue. Makes it much easier when it escalates further down the line to be able to refer to the note and show it to your solicitor.

Poor kids, what a prick. As PP have said, inform him that he is to collect them in future and that if he doesn't appear, you will go out and do something else.

He does sound a bit of an idiot but you sound a little immature.

Quote one word where the OP has been immature!!

Your poor kids. What a total prick. Agree with others, he can collect the kids and if not there make alternative plans.

What a stupid man.

He is an arsehole. Expect nothing, and why would it be good for your DC tonspend time with him?

If he steps up, good. Don't enable. Don't excuse. Assume you are responsible.

Cherish maybe my typos make me seem immature!
Was immature to bang on the door to show him the text he was denying that he'd sent?

I'm interested to know what you mean.

Did 'arrange for next weekend' mean the next weekend he was due to have them ie a fortnights time?

That's what I'm asking. I took it literally - I assumed he was unhappy that dd1 was going for a sleepover on 'his weekend' and so he wanted a fresh one. i.e the next one.

I know we have split up but I really don't get how that gives him the right to opt out of parenting! Or do it only on his terms.

Agree with PP who said stop taking them round to his. Let him come and get them.