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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel anxious / uncertain about TTC?

1 reply

TigerJoy · 02/02/2019 22:02

I'm 41 and for various reasons my DH and I are only just TTC for the first time.

Neither of us are 100% sure about having kids, but we're also aware that if we don't get cracking, we won't have a choice. We both want kids on a theoretical level, and both feel the urge to start a family, but are worried about the impact on our lives and whether it'll be worth it. My gut says yes, as the reality draws closer I'm freaking out the impact on my work, us having less money (I work full-time), we both know I'll probably do the majority of the heavy lifting for the first few years as he has a challenging job with long hours and comes from a culture where men do less child-raising, we both love travelling, I'm worried about the impact on my old squishy body etc etc etc.

I'm just feeling so uncertain. Is this normal? Are we being bananas to just give it a go? Is it worth it in the end? When we talk to friends with children we get loads of stories about the hellish nights and lack of sleep etc and it doesn't really help...

OP posts:
daisyintheclouds · 03/02/2019 14:44

Hi TigerJoy, I just wanted to say I can really relate to your situation. I’m late 30s and in a stable long term relationship but am still unsure about having children. I worry about regretting not having children later on if I don’t TTC, but equally I don’t want to go ahead based on FOMO. It’s the biggest decision you’ll ever make so I totally understand the need to feel confident and sure that it is the right thing for you and your DH.

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