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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask lodger to leave?

32 replies

catonacoldtinroof · 02/02/2019 18:36

Took on a new lodger two weeks ago.

He is young (20), but assured me he was polite and well mannered.

Since he moved in, he has got blind drunk every evening he's been here. This makes me feel uncomfortable as he's quite unstable - starting fights, having men chase him home, etc. He seems to think this is normal.

Mid week he punched his boss whilst drunk then had a tribunal, although it seems he has kept his job. But I feel very uncomfortable around him if he is violent.

I've found a new lodger who is much more my wavelength and can move in whenever.

Should I tell current lodger to leave? Am I within rights to just say it's not working out? He pays rent weekly so I would give a week's notice. I'm thinking of just telling him I need the room back.

OP posts:
Thehop · 02/02/2019 18:38

God yes get rid.

Is it worth asking a PCSO to be there? He sounds u stable

EyesUnderARock · 02/02/2019 18:40

Did you not make a contract with him, setting out a few ground rules?
If not, get advice before inviting someone else in. Yes, get rid of him.

Original poster
catonacoldtinroof · 02/02/2019 18:42

Yes we have a contract with ground rules but they don't cover being violent! I just feel that we're not on the same page at all and he has the potential to cause me a heap of trouble.

OP posts:
DoneLikeAKipper · 02/02/2019 18:58

Mid week he punched his boss whilst drunk then had a tribunal, although it seems he has kept his job.

He went to work drunk and assaulted his boss, and he still has a job/no police record? That was a very quick tribunal, I thought there had to be a suspension, investigation and quite a wait before an actual tribunal took place.

Did you not ask for references before he moved in?

Iloveautumnleaves · 02/02/2019 18:59

Give him notice when he’s sober tomorrow. If you can have a friend around for the day, then do that. If it was me and I was scared of him, I’d book him a private room in a hostel near by and if he has too much stuff to take there, tell him he has a week to make a time to collect his stuff.

Thoroughly check out your potential new lodger then let them know the room is available.

alltoomuchrightnow · 02/02/2019 19:01

Punched his boss but kept his job??!!!!
V worrying
He needs to be gone
But be careful

Lizzie48 · 02/02/2019 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzie48 · 02/02/2019 19:03

Yes you need to get rid of him, but be careful. You should definitely have someone with you when you tell him to leave. And be very careful in future, always ask for references.

Original poster
catonacoldtinroof · 02/02/2019 19:04

He works away in the week so I was planning on telling him Monday morning that he could collect his things Friday, then make sure I had a friend with me.

He came back from work Wednesday and was incredibly drunk, then told me he had been sent home as he punched his boss and had a hearing the next day. He went back to work though.

Last Saturday he got drunk, had a fight in the pub and was chased back to my house by a group of men who then punched my front door!

That's not for me at all.

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 02/02/2019 19:11

I would have booted his ass out last weekend.
Get someone with you and do it now. No need to wait until Monday morning.
It's not working, you don't want to live with a violent drunk. And if asked I would be telling him exactly that.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/02/2019 19:13

Have a male friend with you and tell him he has 48 hours to leave.

Strangers damaging your property to get to him is anyone's final straw. You should feel safe in your in home.

Off he goes!

MitziK · 02/02/2019 19:15

Yep. Get rid.

That's probably why he needs to lodge in other people's homes in the first place.

If you're worried about his reaction if you just tell him to fuck off, tell him you've just found out that the mortgage company/insurance says you can't have lodgers.

wigglypiggly · 02/02/2019 19:16

Boot him out, change the locks and if you have any problems call the police, like others said have someone with you.

Iloveautumnleaves · 02/02/2019 19:20

Actually, after your last post I’ve changed my mind.

Get a couple of male (or strapping female) friends around tomorrow, tell him he’s leaving, under his own steam or with help. An ounce of trouble, call the police.

He can stay at ‘work’ or a hostel. Who cares. He’s a bunch of trouble you don’t need.

HollowTalk · 02/02/2019 19:20

I would wait until he's gone to work then put his rent for a week in an envelope plus all his belongings in his workplace. I'd then change the locks and tell him that he had to go, his things are at work and if he tries to get in you'll call the police.

HollowTalk · 02/02/2019 19:21

Don't give notice. God knows what he'll do. Give him his money back instead.

CatnissEverdene · 02/02/2019 19:22

Do you really need to ask??

NotANotMan · 02/02/2019 19:23

I'm surprised you're even asking. Of course you get rid of him!

Fancyacuppaluv · 02/02/2019 19:27

YANBU - but don’t wait!

Highonthehill · 02/02/2019 19:43

I would tell him that you are giving him notice tomorrow. That's it's not working for you.

EdWinchester · 02/02/2019 19:44

You have to ask?

TheDowagerCuntess · 02/02/2019 19:52

Another one who can't believe you actually need to come on here and ask the question. Confused

Ruru8thestars · 02/02/2019 19:56

Get rid asap

SophiaLovesSummer · 03/02/2019 23:21

Ex copper here. Please call 101 and explain the situation then see what they say. I wouldn't ordinarily ever suggest that for getting rid of lodger scenario as patently - ordinarily - that would be a 100% civil matter. This however has red flags all over it and I don't think you can assume he will go quietly or that he won't go but then come back. He's shown himself to be capable of violence; volatile; and unpredictable.

Please seek help before you act.

recklessruby · 04/02/2019 00:02

Blind drunk every night? He s lucky to still have a job especially with violence included.
Has he made you feel at risk OP?
He needs to go before he does.
Like pp have said give him a week s rent back and get a few burly male friends around when you tell him to go.
Wonder why he's not living with family or a partner?

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