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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel my birthday tea?

27 replies

alliejay81 · 02/02/2019 17:57

It's my birthday and we're supposed to be going out to tea in 30 mins. An hour and a half ago DH got in a strop over nothing. I tried to ask about going for a drink beforehand, but he didn't hear me properly. I repeated myself by DS spoke at the same time. DH started yelling that he couldn't hear us. He then said my name in a way that was meant to be a command for me to speak IYSWIM (low tone full name, rather than the normal "Just say that again please froggy". I sighed, and before I had a chance to say anything else he yelled again and stormed off. He's currently upstairs asleep.

This was a fairly odd way to behave, and I don't really fancy waking him up and "making nice". Am I BU to cancel the booking and just deal with him when he wakes up. Clearly not going to have much fun going out are we?

OP posts:
TinselTimes · 02/02/2019 17:59

If he’s sleepung maybe he’s very tired or coming down with something.

Tbh I’d let him nap, then reschedule when everybody’s in a better mood.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 02/02/2019 18:00

If you and your son haven't argued I'd go out just with him!

gamerchick · 02/02/2019 18:01

Leave him behind. He's going to strop anyway and I'm assuming the bairns going as well? Does he have previous when the attention isn't on him? Some people do like to pick fights on their partners birthdays because they're dicks.

Happy birthday Flowers

Celebelly · 02/02/2019 18:01

Can't you just leave him and go out with your son instead?

cowfacemonkey · 02/02/2019 18:01

He’s not a bloody toddler! Coming down with something indeed!
Don’t cancel go without him.

MuddyMoose · 02/02/2019 18:01

Sounds like a strop over nothing. I wouldn't wake him up & I definitely wouldn't apologise. I wouldn't cancel the table eirher. Go without him & have fun with whoever else was going.

Happy birthday 🎂

LittleLongDog · 02/02/2019 18:01

If he’s asleep maybe something’s up? Is it like him to be like this?

Could you go out with a friend instead so you still use the booking and have a treat out?

Bombardier25966 · 02/02/2019 18:02

Hate it when people talk over each other.

Why not wake him and ask if he still wants to go? Then let him go back to sleep if he doesn't.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 02/02/2019 18:02

I was also married to a man child. Ruined every birthday anyone had . Except his which we all had to go all out for.
Exh...

FeedMeTikka · 02/02/2019 18:03

Leave him sleeping and go out with just your son, sounds like he’d spoil it with his mood if you did wake him but why should you miss out?

NeutralJanet · 02/02/2019 18:03

YANBU. He's being a moody twat. Order takeaway and stay indoors, it's too cold to be bothered going out anyway.

Thehop · 02/02/2019 18:04

Leave him in bed and go with your ds

Oddcat · 02/02/2019 18:06

Is he normally such an idiot ? Is this normal behaviour for him ? If not , it sounds as if there's more to this than just a strop ( and I don't mean he's coming down with something)

LynetteScavo · 02/02/2019 18:09

Well if you wake him up will be be grumpy? I really would be, but DH loves a power nap.

Personally I'd just get a takeaway or go out with DS.

spongedog · 02/02/2019 18:09

I'd leave a note and go without him. Make the note kind eg you were sleeping and I didnt want to disturb you - please come and join us.

If he is being a dick (and my ex was great at stropping when it was my event) you will find out. At least by being kind in the note you cant then be accused of starting a fight,

Cornishclio · 02/02/2019 18:11

No, don't cancel. Just take your DS and leave him at home. I would not be dealing with anyone on your birthday. If he cannot be civilised and is likely to be unpleasant company you would be better going just on your own.

Scandaloso · 02/02/2019 18:12

Go without the grumpy lump.

Oddcat · 02/02/2019 18:13

Good idea about leaving a note. If you went without him would that make things worse?

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 02/02/2019 18:13

Happy birthday!

It doesn't matter whether your DH is ill or couldn’t hear. He is an adult so should behave like one.

Can you go out with others or even by yourself?

hidinginthenightgarden · 02/02/2019 18:16

I would absolutely still go! Walk up stairs and announce that you and DS are going for the as planned. Tell him he is welcome to join you if he can behave like an adult and put on a celebratory face for an hour. Then walk out and give him 10 mins to follow you or leave.

Groovee · 02/02/2019 18:16

I'd go out with your son.

alliejay81 · 02/02/2019 18:21

@PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin

My thoughts exactly! I woke him, he's still a bit grumpy, but we're going and I'm going to drink a vat of wine!Wink

OP posts:
Careylisa · 02/02/2019 18:31

Lol my DH has used the not hearing because of our toddler chattering excuse and being OTT about it a few times, because he’s in a mood! I happily skip out with DS and say Tara see you later!!

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 02/02/2019 18:35

Happy Birthday alliejay Flowers

Hope you manage to have an enjoyable time.

DiaryofWimpyMumm · 02/02/2019 18:38

Have a lovely time!

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