To expect my 8 year old to tidy his room?!!

[Bethanyg25]

So every weekend we are having the same fight. My son has the messiest room I have ever seen. We bought him a high sleeper so we could put more storage under his bed for his stuff. But still you can’t see the floor. He tidies it after a huge battle but it stays ‘tidy’ for a day max. I literally feel like crying when I see it and often just keep the door shut. Pulled his chest of draws out this morning and there is endless shit behind it, ripped pages out of books, loose cds etc etc etc. He says I’m ruining his life by making him sort it out every weekend cos it takes him so long. Just don’t understand how it happens! Anyone else have the same prob? I know kids are messy but this is beyond a joke

My DS (age 9) has just recently started tidying his room when asked, he would do it when younger but then it was a case of shove all clothes in a drawer and chuck everything else in a pile. I did a huge clear out of his box room and left him with the stuff he really needed. It's far easier for him to manage. Cull the toys, the cuddly toys and the clothes and then it will be easier.

Added bonus, my DS now loves to hoover his room...he wont do any other rooms, just his!

My 4 yr old tidies ( a bit, with help and some nagging) so I don't think 8 is too young. A weeks worth of mess is probably ocerwhelmimg him. I'd go with enough storage with labels so that everything he picks up he knows what to do with. And make it part of his routine to do it every night for a few minutes so it doesn't build up.

My nearly 11 year old can tidy his room and has been able to for quite a while. His brother, a year younger, gets his in such a state he doesn’t know where to start. I recently went in and chucked away pretty much anything on the floor (I had warned him I would) and sorted it for him. I was ruthless! He loved it when he saw it and hasn’t missed anything that I chucked. It’s still tidy a month later.

My 8 year old dss seems to have no problems with tidying up. We sometimes have to remind him the “correct” way to do things or where things go. But otherwise he seems to be able to on tidy his room with help.

I am a grown-up and would be absolutely miserable if I had to tidy my house every weekend!

Even if you are tired during the week, you should still find 10 minutes - max! - to help him tidy up his bedroom every night.

My kids can roam free in the house and put toys everywhere WHEN THEY ARE USING IT, but when they are finished things get put away immediately.

I don't clean or tidy at the weekend ever (apart from things we are using obviously), I do it every morning before going to work and have a quick tidy before going to bed.

If you were keeping on top of things every day, it would save you a lot of time and upset! Weekends should be to enjoy your family, not fight about chores.

It's also worth looking at where the mess is coming from, especially as he doesn't seem to spend a lot of time in his room

I had the same battle with my son, and he explained that he needed a list explaining exactly what he needed to do. We did that and stuck it n his wardrobe, he ticks it off and it gets done. Sometimes they just need direction!

Can your DP help too? Make pocket money or computer game time contingent on a room inspection by one of you. Then make a list of :
Always jobs eg ‘Always put rubbish straight in the bin’
Every day jobs ‘Put you clean clothes away’
Weekly jobs ‘empty the bin’
Parents jobs ‘dust and hoover’
Then cheerfully enforce a weekly clean and a ten minute daily tidy through the first few meltdowns (pick your times).
But you do need to be prepared to cheerfully coach him through it, 8 year olds with full time working parents need as much parental input as those with part time working parents, and as much as 5 month olds, but in different ways.
This isn’t important because of the messy room, its important because he needs to learn skills for the future and have your positive time.

My 4 year old has tidy up time in reception so I don't see that and 8 year old would struggle, all that said it would depend on what his take on tidying is?

My 8 year old throws stuff in the cupboards and as long as the floor bed was tidy that is good enough for her.

My 4 year old puts things back in toy boxes and In There places.