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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is sil being u or am I a bad wife

10 replies

Topttumps · 01/02/2019 22:31

Bit of background. We have 3dc. Two have minor additional needs and require additional input from me. Dh has a medical condition which has meant that he has been off sick for several months. I have become his career to a degree. It has been pretty stressful running the home, caring for dh and the kids and running a small business.
So last Wednesday dh had a surgery. I had been rushed off my feet going to and from the hospital etc etc and keeping everything going.
On the Saturday I was up and out early to take dc to ds1 football match. It was an away game 30 miles away so required an early start. Dd1 and dd2 came too of course and needed entertaining. I than had to make a quick shopping trip to get some bits for dh. I barely had time to get a myself a drink before taking dc to a birthday party for dh brothers child. Following this I was collecting dh from hospital. By the end of the day I would have clocked up over 130 miles.
Sister in law knew all this. During the party she asked me if I was cooking something special for dh once I had collected him. On the face of it an innocent enough question. I said that I was exhausted with all the running around recently and we would probably get a takeaway. Her face said it all. Clearly she thought that I was a rubbish wife and that I should be preparing an amazing meal to welcome dh home.
I know it is a trivial exchange and I probably shouldn’t be analysing this but just wondered what mn jury would have done in my situation.

OP posts:
Topttumps · 01/02/2019 22:32

Sorry appear to have posted in wrong section.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 01/02/2019 22:34

She's wrong and unkind to make her opinion so visible.

Lindy2 · 01/02/2019 22:42

I would say that clearly your SIL has not ever had to single handedly run around looking after 3 children whilst keeping a business and house running. It was a ridiculous comment by her. Definitely not worth dwelling on in any way.
I hope your DH recovers soon so things get easier for you.

Mmmhmmm · 01/02/2019 22:46

She was just being a bitch, probably looking for an argument.

Topttumps · 01/02/2019 22:47

Thank you. I get the impression that she sometimes doesn’t really take my business seriously as I only do it part time and the profit is low compared to dh salary. Sil works full time and I think deep down thinks that I don’t pull my weight.
To be perfectly honest I haven’t been able to devout much time to my business recently.. Thankfull now is not a busy time.

OP posts:
Butterfly84 · 01/02/2019 22:51

Stupid comment. Ignore it and move on.

InSightMars · 01/02/2019 22:55

Bloody hell, I’d be on my knees after a day like that even without all other tasks you’ve had on your plate day to day for months. It’d be as much as I could do to summon the energy to order food delivered let alone cook!
Ignore your sil, she’s clearly one of those who never gives a thought to all the other things you’re having to juggle and fixated on something trivial you didn’t do. I’m sure your DH appreciates the load you’re carrying while he’s unwell and was just glad to be home.

GimmeBread · 01/02/2019 23:02

You're Superwoman! What a smug mare you're SIL is. My DH would have got tea and toast or cereal. I wouldn't have been organised enough to get a takeaway in.

Hopefully now that he's home, things will settle down a little bit and you can catch your breath! Thanks

Waveysnail · 01/02/2019 23:06

Your over thinking it.

Butterymuffin · 01/02/2019 23:08

What? No way would I have been cooking after a day like that. She sounds like a fault finding cow. Ignore her.

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