to not understand people that are afraid of dogs

[Josico58]

Is it not an extremely debilitating and irrational fear? Based on how many dogs there are about in public, how do you go about daily life? And to think they’re all about to attack you for no reason?

I can understand people feeling nervous of a big dog hurtling towards them/their small children, but regular, well behaved dogs in public places. Really a problem?

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people. But the mum kind of enables it, picking DD up and saying “it’s OK, he’s not going to get you”. I’m left feeling a bit “Er, get a grip!!”

AIBU?

Sorry, as an animal lover I just can’t understand this seemingly common fear.

I suspect popular opinion will be that I am and I’m ready for the backlash!!

I love dogs. Am a dog owner and have grown up with them. I fully understand some people are scared and some just plain dislike them. I'd never allow my dog to jump up a stranger, I keep a tight hold on her lead if people coming towards us when walking. I love my dog but know others don't. And a fear of dogs is not irrational. Some people have really bad experiences of dogs. I myself was bitten by a west highland terrier as a child. Not badly, but I really don't like that breed now.

I think your post is the bitchiest post I’ve ever seen on MN. You sound like a thoroughly horrible woman, devoid of empathy, and it is precisely owners like you who are the reason people have fear of dogs - ‘but my little dog would never hurt anyone’ - said by every owner ever whose dog did go on to bite someone. You are a horror.

I will just say I don’t think the mother picking up her child is “enabling” him. It’s just being a comforting secure presence is all. When you’re only little, dogs can be the same size as you are. It’s a bit much if you’ve got one of them running towards you and you’re 3.

Im scared of dogs but i still go places where they are ans my anxiety goes crazy because im scared they will bite me its more of the unknown and not knowing what they are thinking but it's with all animals not just dogs.

I went to a house with dogs a fee years ago id been many timea and then one of the little rascals actually bit me! Now im even more scared.

I dont not go to places or run away because of this tho i try to subside my feelings and anxiety

I’m saying the mum should maybe reassure the DD nothing bad is going to happen, she needn’t be scared

How is this mum supposed to know that nothing will happen?

but my question is more about under control dogs just minding there business. Ie if a dog is tied up outside a shop, and people scared to enter just because of the dogs presence there. Must make daily life quite difficult to have that crippling a fear that the very sight of a dog scares some people.

I just don’t get what your point is. Yes it must be very hard. I have a phobia (not of dogs) and it is bloody debilitating and has had a vastly negative impact on my life. Do you want to cure people of their dog phobia? Or just rub it in that their life must be more difficult than yours? Don’t you have things that scare you?

I find it irritating when a dog is in a shop doorway more because it is in the way, but also because you can’t predict if it may nip at you or snarl or bark or just even jump up at you. Why should the general public have to brush aside these irritations? Why don’t the dog owners just not leave their animal in people’s way?

My youngest will move away from dogs, run if he had to, or he'll ask to be picked up (which we do...even though he's 7 and bloody heavy). Even for the regular, well behaved dogs.

If you saw us do this whilst out walking your dog, you'd think he's afraid and that we need to "get a grip".

Oh no doubt he is afraid. He's afraid of his eyelids swelling shut and remaining like that for days despite antihistamines. He's afraid of the pain of allergic conjunctivitis and the itching of hives in addition to the swelling. He's afraid of the panic on peoples faces as they see his face swelling.

A dog tied up by a shop doorway means, if he hasn't had any antihistamines that day, we either carry him out of reach of the dog or we don't go in the shop.

If you like dogs, great. Want to have one as a pet? Good for you. But it's not up to you to judge and look down on those who don't feel the same.

@llangennith That’s brilliant! They are a very sweet natured and affectionate breed so I’m not surprised her fear was cured!

But the child is small too OP, and has no concept of puppy. Just of weird little dog running and jumping unpredictably. You can see excitement, no aggression from your adult eyes. A child can't. So it's on YOU as the dog owner to put the puppy on a lead around the child and not let it get close or jump unless the child is happy to approach. If the child is happy to and wants to pet the puppy you then go from short lead to holding it by the ring on the collar to stop the puppy jumping up at the child and correct it. It's not on the child to be sensible and happy to have a dog jump up at them, it's on you the owner to teach your dog manners. If you can't or won't you shouldn't take your dog to places they'd be confined with children or to make it clear to visitors you consider your home the dog's territory and won't be leashing it/ putting it away if it gets excited.

Yabu. Your dog jumping up or licking people - scary to someone who finds that repulsive (me)

Stupidest post of the week?

@Raspberry88 do you find this scary?

I think the OP has been very goady, I also think that people get dogs and are unable to deal with them properly, they are not prepared to put the time and effort into training a dog properly.
My DIL has a dog which she "acquired" from a colleague who no longer wanted her as the dog proved not to be the pedigree dog she had paid for and she maintained because of the "misbreeding" the dog was uncontrolable.
My DIL spent a great deal of time with the dog going to training classes, socialisation sessions, and the dog is a lovely companion, who I am happy to look after any time.
A dog is a huge committment and I think many people underestimate that.
I love dogs and think they can be wonderful and loyal companions, but I do think a lot of people get them and forget that it is not acceptable to let your dog jump up at someone, especially children.

I am heartened by the number of children who approach me when I am in the park walking my DIL's dog and ask "May I stroke the dog/ is it okay/is the dog gentle?"
I am saddened at parents who shriek and run away clutching their dc's when you walk within a few yards of them with a dg on a lead.

I can see both sides of the argument, but I think that the OP is on the whole being unreasonable.

My son was bitten by his nanas so called harmless dog when he was 3. He did nothi ng only walk past it..the dog ripped his cheek open and scarred him for life..ds is still wary of dogs and hes 19 now.

So op..bugger off with your judgy post..dogs are unpredictable and i say that as a dog owner

OP have you no fear or phobia of anything yourself? Im scared of spiders and I’m sure there are plenty of people who wouldn’t understand why. Most of us have our “thing”.

I’ve always loved dogs but when I was 5 or 6 I would beg my mum to pick me up when we went to a friends house because I was scared of their dog. It always jumped up and would often unintentionally scratch its claws down me.

I got off a bus because a woman was standing in the space I would need to
park the pram and I didnt fancy standing next to a dog or having the baby next to one. Like I said im not scared of them but I cant stand them, people need to realise that not everyone likes dogs.

I am scared of dogs since one bit my sister on the face as a child.
My children are scared of dogs as they were knocked over like skittles by a neighbours dog who was bigger than they were and ran up barking at them.
I also dislike dogs. I hate their slobber, I don't want their slobber on me. I hate how they stick their heads in my groin!
Today we were playing snowballs and a loose dog came up barking and jumping scaring everyone. The owner didn't care.

A dog can seriously injure or kill you...

What do you not understand?

Nor read the thread but yes. So stupid. Dogs have every right to be on the planet as any other creature, you have a duty to respect every other creature.
Kids hate spiders. You teach them until they realise that all spiders in the U.K. are harmless.

I haven't RTFT but is this not due to human instinct? When we were cavemen wolves killed us so we're programmed to fear them. Like people who have a phobia of vomit - due to the instinct that it could signal disease & be a danger.

Oh dear god. Dogs have the right to be on the planet?!
Phobias are awful. They are debilitating and can control a person’s life. No one chooses to have one.
Some people are scared because of past experience. Some people are fucking terrified for no definable reason. What humane person would want to increase that terror instead of keeping their dog the fuck away from someone so scared?
And yes. I have a dog.

I'm usually very careful with my words on here but yes, you are being unreasonable. " I just can't understand (pearl clutch)" . You could if you listened. You won't. Bog off. Say, I disagree. Don't say " I don't understand" . It's patronising and superior.

@HazelBite

I totally accept the responsibility, we’ve done 2 courses of puppy classes and we dedicate lots of time in training.

I would never get any pet on a wimb, I recognise it’s a huge commitment which I why I have waited until I am in my 30s, own a home with a decent garden and my work situation allows me to spend a fair amount of time at home.

I am heartened by the number of children who approach me when I am in the park walking my DIL's dog and ask "May I stroke the dog/ is it okay/is the dog gentle?"
I am saddened at parents who shriek and run away clutching their dc's when you walk within a few yards of them with a dg on a lead.

I totally agree with this statement you made. This was part of my point but perhaps it came across differently to how I interpreted your version of the same thing I was trying to say.

It's not usually the dogs that are the problem. It's more often the type of owner that thinks everyone should love their dog as much as they do that I have an issue with. The ones that let their dogs jump up, chase children and refuse to move their dog away when someone is obviously uncomfortable.
If you are not happy to have their dog jump up you and lick your mouth then 'they don't understand you'.

To say people are pathetic because they are uncomfortable around dogs is nasty. Many fears are irrational.