to not understand people that are afraid of dogs

[Josico58]

Is it not an extremely debilitating and irrational fear? Based on how many dogs there are about in public, how do you go about daily life? And to think they’re all about to attack you for no reason?

I can understand people feeling nervous of a big dog hurtling towards them/their small children, but regular, well behaved dogs in public places. Really a problem?

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people. But the mum kind of enables it, picking DD up and saying “it’s OK, he’s not going to get you”. I’m left feeling a bit “Er, get a grip!!”

AIBU?

Sorry, as an animal lover I just can’t understand this seemingly common fear.

I suspect popular opinion will be that I am and I’m ready for the backlash!!

There’s a bit of a weird psychological denial going on with people who “own” dogs. I don’t doubt that they love them and the majority of dog “owners” treat “their” dogs well, but the concept of domesticating and enslaving another species purely for amusement/comfort/company is troubling. And the pervasive anthropomorphism astounds me.

My DCs are very nervous around dogs entirely because of the poorly controlled dogs we've met in public and their ignorant owners. When you are a toddler, and there is a strange, energetic fluffball with sharp teeth and claws bounding around in your face, or gatecrashing your picnic, it is scary.

I grew up with large dogs, I'm confident but cautious and I have tried to improve my children's confidence, but they have been knocked back so many times by yet another "friendly" dog bounding around them. Some owners are better and are appropriately appologetic, and quickly regain control. Sometimes the dog and my child have sufficiently calmed down they recovered from their fright and managed to calmly approach the dog after. Too often the owner of the "friendly" dog is so oblivious to the world around them and thinks that allowing their dog to continue bounding around will magically overcome the terror they are triggering.

My DCs are getting over it with age or more accurately, as they slowly gain a height advantage. DS2 likes old, slow dogs that mind their own business and can ask if he can pet them, but fast moving dogs still alarm him. DS1 would rather avoid and rarely wants to make contact with dogs.

Yes, a cute little puppy can be a genuine cause for fear because too many shitty, oblivious dog owners have allowed their dogs to be unruly, and don't see or care about the consequences on the people around them.

Don't be one of those owners OP.

I can understand not everyone is a dog-person, but there seems to be a real resentment.

You do think perhaps there might be a correlation between your OP and the responses you’ve had?

I have been attacked by dogs three times in my life. Twice as a child, once as an adult. Knocked to the floor by a dog twice. Bitten twice. Pinned down once.

I was very small the first time and the dog (considerably bigger than me) barked right in my face until my Mum managed to haul it off (using her full strength).

I didn’t touch these dogs, or speak to them or go very near to them before being attacked.

So my personal life experience is that dogs (of whatever size) can attack, and frighten you and bite you and scratch you for no reason at all.

Now obviously not all dogs behave that way but are you really telling me my fear is irrational?

I have tried very, very hard not to pass my fears into my children but I have taught them that you must be introduced to a strange dog and not just assume it’s ok to pat them. Just as one is introduced to a strange adult before deciding that they are ok. Not all dogs (or strangers) like children.

My MIL (despite knowing my history) thinks my fears are “irrational” and doesn’t understand why I’m “depriving” my children of a dog.

I have tried, and apparently failed, to explain to her quite how much courage it takes me to sit in the same room as their dog (let alone allow the dog best my children)

My D.C. aren’t frightened of dogs but they aren’t much interested in them (to the PILs chagrin)

Most of my dog owning friends have no idea how frightened I am of dogs or how little I like being near them. I grit my teeth and endure assuming the dog is well behaved.

My fear is not in any way irrational. I have good basis for my view that dogs can be unpredictable and vicious.

Not all dogs. But enough.

And I would have lifted my D.C. out of the way of your jumpy, barky dog because a potential child scar on their face is more important than you taking offence on behalf of your pet.

I hate when off lead dogs bound towards me a high speed barking and owners shout dont worry he’s friendly I don’t fucking care if you think he’s friendly. Get him
on a bloody lead of you can’t comtrol him.

Dogs as a general species I have nothing against, but I’d be perfectly have happy if I never ever saw a dog close up again.

It's a ridiculous goady post. I just don't understand why everyone doesn't think like me. Yes, you are unreasonable. End

Usuallyinthemiddle I think that pretty much covers it.

Some people can only empathise with people who are very similar to themselves. I wonder if they are the same people who anthropomorphise their pets. Because if they don’t feel that their pets have the same emotions that humans do, they can’t relate to them.

Do you think the child gives a shiny shit if your puppy is “being trained” not to jump up. It’s clearly still jumping up or it wouldn’t still be “being trained” so basically it’s jumping up at a small child. It may be a small dog to you, but to a small child it’s much bigger. And the size of the dog doesn’t matter much when it’s barking and growling, showing it’s pointy teeth. Try putting yourself in the child’s shoes for a moment.

"My dog is just friendly and full on" = total fucking uncontrolled nightmare. The polite thing to do would be to put the dog away when you have guests especially ones who are afraid of dogs.

As an aside I've always been tremendously suspicious of people who claim they're "animal lovers" and adore their pets yet have real disdain for human beings.

I am terrified of small dogs.

I have always been round medium to big dogs (smallest was a spaniel, biggest a St Bernard's) and I love them, my dogs an Irish Wolfhound, hes gorgeous. Logically I know that if they went I'd be in far more danger but I was attacked by a yorkie when I was small and even after Dad pulled it off me it was still growling and snapping like some vicious little demon dog and trying to get out his hands, he had to shut it in his car until the owners eventually bothered to walk over to deal with it and it was still going mental, throwing itself at the window snapping towards me. I have no idea why it was attacking but I had stitches and still have a scar on my face and Dad has a scar on his thumb from pulling it off me. Obviously it must have had massive issues and I know most little dogs are ok, but I just can't be near them.

It is massively debilitating and totally irrational. I know that and I am trying to get past it, I am getting better but DD went off to stroke a pug the other day, it was on a lead, totally under control, older dog who doesn't yip or bounce, DD is 10 and had asked the owner who we know well, I was a good 10 feet away from me, my chest felt tight and I felt sick trying not to show how scared I was of it! Which is totally pathetic, I know that, I tell myself that, it doesn't stop me feeling like it.

I don't hate dogs and I'm not terrified of them. However they make me nervous. I've been bitten by a so called friendly family dog in the past - no wrong doing on my part. The dog had been fine and then suddenly started biting. Hence it's made me nervous.

I also just really like them best me much. I don't like it when they jump up at you or start trying to kick etc. I don't want a dog shuffling round my legs or bags. I don't want a dog near my food, or in my home.

To be fair they are generally fairly easy to avoid. Only one of my friends has one. I'm used to that one now though not keen - it's too jumpy and fussy. So maybe once or twice a month if I go to their house I have one in close proximity. .

I used to be really scared of dogs, when I was about 6 I was walking along holding onto the side of the pushchair containing my baby sister when a very large German shepherd came out of a garden and knocked me to the ground it stood over me and growled when my mum tried to pick me up. I just remember a lot of shouting and growling, tbf the dog did not bite me, but it left me scared for years.

As I got older I would go to houses were there were dogs and be scared, I cant remember when I stopped being scared but now I love other peoples dogs, I would never want one myself but am happy to pet a dog, be kissed to death by a dog and hug one all day. But say again, I dont want one of my own.

I wouldn't say I'm afraid of them. I don't trust them. I've been bitten by two dogs in my time and I'm keen not to make it a hat trick. Both of those were "sweet things that wouldn't hurt a fly" (one was a Jack Russell always vicious little bastards IMO) according to their owners. YABU.

I literally cannot stand entitled dog owners who thinks the world should love their dog cause its' friendly' .

A girl I was nannying a few years ago was jumped by a huge dog when she was only two whilst we were walking round a pond. She was hysterical and the owner couldn't give a shit.

YabVu

That’s the issue I have with those afraid of dogs - they pass it onto kids. It’s irresponsible.

It necessarily. As said I'm nervous and not overly keen on dogs. My Dd however adores them, always has done. My fear has had no impact whatsoever on Dd.

I have a workmate who is terrified of birds and would cross the road to avoid a pigeon. He was previously attacked and pecked by a female seagull which was defending it's young which he accidentally disturbed - were in the bin shed.

but kids need to be ok with being confident around them even to call out bad behaviour or go for a run where dogs are playing.

Because 100% of dog owners are in complete control of their dogs at all times. Just like car owners! We should also encourage children to play in the roads amongst the cars and call out bad behaviour amongst drivers. Better than having them have any kind of instinct for self-preservation around things which could potentially kill them.

A dog grabbed me by the face and shook me when I was 3. I hadn't even touched it - it was just irritable because the weather was hot and I was sitting in "his spot" in the shade under the tree. I don't take chances around dogs any more, and won't let my son near a dog I don't trust 100%.

"I can understand the fear of people that have been previously attacked, or are close to someone that was, rather than those that just seem to be scared of dogs and think they'll be attacked, despite no (obvious to me) reasons to believe that is about to happen."

You said you're afraid of car crashes and being raped OP. I'm afraid of both of those things too, but I've never personally experienced either of them.

Are people not allowed to be scared of things they haven't personally experienced? Or does that just apply to fear of dogs because you think that's a silly fear?

@Josico58

Whilst I wouldn't whip up hysteria in my DC, I would never tell them that a dog 'won't hurt them' either.

Where would that leave a child's trust for their DM if they had been reassured by the words ' it won't hurt you' only for the dog to turn and around and actually do so?

You like dogs and that's fine but not everyone does and your 100% confidence that your dog will not hurt someone is not rational. It's always a possibility and no one (not even you) can predict the behaviour of any dog.

I think it is sensible to teach a child to have a degree of wariness of dogs and not over confidence.

I was scared of dogs as a child after being attacked by 3 family pets one got out down and the other got handed back to where we got him from but my fear wasn’t errational or pathetic you sound like a complete knob,

*2 family dogs

I don’t like dogs because one bit my DD. She is terrified of dogs because of it.

It was friendly and just saying hello apparently. Just a puppy and training. The owner was super confident it was fine, right up until it bit her.

I don’t like dogs around because too many dog owners are rude, and over confident. Often they are disrespectful and come out with “oh it’s fine, he’s friendly” when asked to call their dog away from my clearly frightened child.

I'm a dog owner and YABU. Plenty of people have had bad experiences, others don't like them the way some don't like spiders.

As an aside I've always been tremendously suspicious of people who claim they're "animal lovers" and adore their pets yet have real disdain for human beings

Is that because they are illogical in not seeing humans are animals too?

I have no problem with people not liking people, and preferring animals. Can't see how their preferences would affect you or anyone.