To go out when DS isn't well?

[anouka]

Had the plan to go out tomorrow night for a colleagues birthday, it's a big event, it's been planned for weeks.

DS has been ill this week, not sleeping great and even had a brief trip to the hospital. He's not 100% but overall he's back to himself and he's happy.

AIBU to continue through with plans? I'm not sure if that makes me ridiculously irresponsible (and completely selfish), but I've been so excited for it and he'd be at home with his dad. Or should I just realise that other nights will come and stay home? I never go out so it's not a common thing for me.

I personally wouldn't go. But that's because Casualty is on tomorrow. I'm not missing Casualty for any fucker.

Tell DM to shut up and fuck off. It's 2019 not 1919.

You are his parent, not DM. It depends what virus he has whether I'd go - if he might end up in hospital I'd stay as I'd feel too guilty otherwise if he did and I wasn't there but other than that I'd go - he has two parents after all.

Sorry @anouka misread your OP and thought it was tonight.

Your DM chose to parent one way, but you get to choose how you parent. What message is it sending to DP if you don't go? Either you're implying that he is not competent, or you are implying that because he is a man he is less able to look after his own child? (Why do people's genitals mean that they are less able to care for their own child??) I wonder where her beliefs come from - did your Dad ever look after you when you were ill? Or perhaps he was less than reliable?

I sense your DS is quite young, but I may be completely wrong! If he is, then what you do now sets the scene for the next x number of years. If you go out - you relax, have a good time and have the break you deserve. Your DP will cope, and he will develop confidence and also the knowledge that you trust him. Win win, from where I'm sitting. Your DS also starts to learn that if you go out then Daddy will look after him, and it's all fine.

Your DM is entitled to her opinion, but do not assume she's right about this situation, or that you are not entitled to behave in a different way to what she would choose.

@Hoopaloop {grin]

My DM always does this - guilt trips me for doing anything independently of my DH and DC. Even though you know you're doing something totally acceptable it makes you doubt your judgement. Go out and have fun! Hope your little one's better soon

I agree you should go out. My PIL always assume I'm the default parent. I don't go out often but I always remind them my DH is perfectly happy to be on his own with DS. Just keep your phone on you.

I must have been a terrible parent because it wouldn't have occurred to me not to go out. Go.