To be worried about childcare issues with DH’s new job?

[Withasideofbeans]

Hi all, this will be a bit long so please bear with me

DH has been unemployed for 4 months, and has had a job offer today for a good company with a decent salary. The problem is the flexibility. At the minute I work Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, 5pm until 1am, but I leave at 4pm to get to work due to public transport.

DH has been told that for the first month he’ll be working 9am-5:30pm (getting home at 6) and after that every 6 weeks he’ll be required to do around 3 “late” shifts, which would mean finishing at 8pm, and getting home at around 8:30.
So for the first month there’s an overlap of 2 hours, and after that there would be an occasional overlap of 4 1/2 hours.

I’ve asked my DM if she could help with childcare for DD on the odd occasion and she said she couldn’t help. DHs parents could possibly watch DD but their house is very busy, BIL lives there with 3 DNs and it’s quite hectic. DD doesn’t really like being there without DH or I, as she’s quite clingy and BIL scares her a bit (nothing sinister, he’s just loud!).

I could possibly change my hours at work, but I’d only be able to change it to 6pm start time, as I’m needed between 5-8pm the most due to it being busy. And that’s if they were to change my hours, 50/50 chance they will say no.

Other option would be to change jobs and find something that finishes at 4ish so I could use after school club. Only problem with this is that I currently get paid weekly, and I’m assuming wherever I moved would go to monthly pay. All my savings are gone due to DH being unemployed, so I’d have to save for a few weeks to cover the shortfall that would come with a new job and waiting for the payday.

Another option would be to use a childminder, but it would be on an as/when basis, as childcare wouldn’t be required every day. Just when DH would work until 8. I’ve never used a childminder so I’m not too sure if that’s possible, or if they only take on “regulars”.

Sorry if this is a rambling post, I’m thrilled that DH has a new job but worried about the potential childcare issues that will come with it. Any ideas on how I could work around it? Which option seems the best?

How old is your dd?

I think a childminder would be a good option. I had one when my son was younger and she was great. Good luck I hope you get something sorted

DD is 7. I was thinking a childminder is the only sustainable option, from your experience do they/would they allow you to only use them for a couple of hours once every few weeks?

Have you got any friends who would be willing to help out?
I don't think you will find an ad hoc childmider as they work on "places"
Good luck

When does she turn 8?

Do you know any reliable older teenagers or college students who you'd trust to babysit? I used to do babysitting similar to this & was delighted to earn a few pounds.

Get a babysitter. There are agencies that provide care for these circumstances.

I’m a childminder and happy to take on 8+ as ad hoc because they don’t affect ratios.

Hi OP

From your post, it looks as though you need every Monday and Tuesday as these are the days you work every week. You’ll need the occasional extra hours on these same days when your husband needs to work until 8pm. I should think finding a child minder got every Monday and Tuesday is doable - but not maybe for those days you need later pick up after 8pm.

I’d think again about your PIL house. You don’t say how old your DC child is or if your BIL works (so would he be there the whole time). Any child minder would have additional children too so would also be hectic. You do need to realise that. Your DC would have to get used to that so why not try to introduce some short visits to PIL where you leave DC for half an hour, than an hour and build up your DC getting used to that?

Definitely look for a babysitter. I regularly babysit for a family for a few hours one evening every other week so their mum can go out and do a class before their dad gets home. Many adults do babysitting (I'm 29), so it doesn't have to be a teenager if you aren't comfortable with that.

Ask at the local collage providing a childcare coarse and see if any teens want a few hours

Would a nanny share on those days be an option? Or a babysitting agency as the hours are fairly limited? You might be able to find a nanny who has another charge until, say, 6, who could then solely look after your DD. If you have a local Facebook parents’ group it might be worth posting on there - ours is full of people looking for ad hoc babysitting. You might even be able to find a willing student - I babysat under very similar circumstances 20 years ago.

I don’t see the problem with PIL to be honest? Yes there’s lots of people there but any childcare setting is going to have lots of people there and probably one or two shouty ones!! Surely it would be good for DD to develope a relationship with her grandparents and cousins?? It’s only for a few hours every week or so. Some of my best memories are of me, my sister and cousins going to my Anna’s after school for tea and running around and amusing mayhem.

Personally I would go with PIL for a couple of months until you sort something else & save up a bit.

If you need that couple of hours every day I’d go with childminder for the regular one and use your parents in law for the 8.30 one every few weeks

If it is just occasional, I would accept the PiLs offer.
I'm not 100% on the detail of how often it is though.
CMers usually aren't keen to have 'irregular' hours - that is more of a babysitting job.
Ask colleagues, neighbours, friends if they know a local teen that would be interested. I did a similar job when I was a student (I was teacher training) and my dd did a 'cover the gap' sit each week for a couple up the road from when she was 15 - just covering from when one parent went out until the other got in.

Use a childminder for the regular hours and then your pil for the extra late ones. Any childcare seeing is going to be hectic and noisy potentially, and better that your dd builds a relationship with her grandmother and cousins.

As you'll get your dd home from school before you go to work, I'd look for a babysitter who can do the early bit regularly, and the occasional until 8 - that way on late nights she can go to bed on time etc, and on normal days do her homework or whatever

Would your mother in law come to your house to watch dd for you?

What childcare arrangements had you in place prior to your dh becoming unemployed 4 months ago ?

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Prior to DH becoming unemployed we worked for same company, I worked 3 days and he worked the other 4. We’ve been to see PILs tonight and they’re more than happy to watch DD if need be. I agree, better for DD to spend the time with grandparents, uncle and cousins. Thanks again everyone, I think it was just an “oh shit now what?” moment!

What does dh suggest? Seems really crap that you have to be the one doing all the thinking about this.

It did annoy me a bit as it seems I’m having to re-jig a few things due to this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that he’s going to be earning again as these months have been very tough, but I did tell him to let prospective employers know his availability upfront and as soon as possible to avoid wasting anyone’s time. In reality he’s told them he’s fully flexible and I have to sort it out