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Original poster

To be irritated with MIL? Pregnancy size comments..

28 replies

brokenhead · 01/02/2019 10:59

So I am pregnant with my second child.
My MIL has made a comment in a text this week about
"You need to make sure you eat healthy."

Then today she is over and said
"You are very small for half way. Yes very small. I mean do you think you're the right size?"

I said to her for the first time ever.

"Yes. You know at 18 weeks the womb should be under the belly button so I won't be huge will I? I am not piling on weight because that's just my body"

And came back with
"Well you need to eat healthy"

And I said
"So how do you think I eat??"

Because she talks like she knows everything about everything and I am exhausted of it all!!!

She then went funny and said well yes healthy.

Why would I be huge at 18 weeks? She bangs on and on about my belly and I'm exhausted by it!!
I have a normal sized stomach IMO and eat well and plenty.

She's such a busy body at times.

Am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
Sarahjconnor · 01/02/2019 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 01/02/2019 11:01

Sounds like you have got the measure of her. Keep up the good work!!

user1493413286 · 01/02/2019 11:01

I don’t think so; the only person who should comment on your bump size is your midwife and doctor. Anything else whether saying it’s small or big is not helpful.

Confusedbeetle · 01/02/2019 11:02

This is the ludicrous result of a text conversation. It would have been handled so much better on both sides face to face. Sounds like she was a bit worried. She Bangs on? Perhaps you would rather she didnt care

Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 11:04

She's always pestering me

On everything from the deodorant I use to most recently telling me off for having a lock on the inside of my door which stops her from coming in until I answer the door to her??

I don't think she's helpful at all with these comments.

For the record I had hyperemesis and am anyway small. A bump size does not correlate with the health of an infant does it?
My son was premature and 4lb 4 last time but it's not related to my weight because I was so ill with a kidney problem.

She also tried to make me give my son oat milk instead of goat milk or changes his clothes when he goes over. I'm so fed up.

Do you think there is any getting through to people who repeatedly make comments like this?

I don't want any comments on my body especially asking if I am the "right" size

Fed up.

OP posts:
Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 11:05

@Confusedbeetle

She came over this morning and made the second set of comments.

OP posts:
MyBreadIsEggy · 01/02/2019 11:09

Start commenting on her size and question her diet Grin
She’ll soon stop!

Everyone was on at me about how small my bumps were in both pregnancies. I had 2 perfectly healthy, 6lb babies.
Some people just don’t have big bumps!

SarahET · 01/02/2019 11:09

Sounds like you're handling it fine and no, I don't think you'll ever get through to her, best to develop a thick skin and carry on bring polite but assertive. Only 22 more weeks and then it'll be something else GrinWink

Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 11:12

I am going to emigrate ...

Grin

thank you everyone for validating how I feel I just feel pants and angry and my mom wouldn't say something like that

OP posts:
GreenDinosaur · 01/02/2019 11:25

Ask your DH to tell his DM to stop making personal comments about you as it's upsetting for you both.

LordVoldetort · 01/02/2019 11:33

Just tell her straight, you will not be speaking to her about your weight, bump size or other pregnancy related items. You deal with health care people in regards to that.
Bump size is nothing. When I was pregnant I was massive, my daughter was under 7lbs when born but my friend who was tiny gave birth to a girl who was over 8lbs

Wonkypalmtree · 01/02/2019 12:08

I think that the concern is coming from a good place but can understand that it’s grating.

You are not well (hypermesis) and you had a premature small baby before, she is likely worried.

In your shoes I would say that you are eating healthy and have DH speak to her and ask her to reign it in.

Twisique · 01/02/2019 12:09

Tell her she is being rude, every time. Reward yourself with chocolate, make her watch you eat it. Grin

Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 12:12

The thing is I eat properly cook a lot of our food from scratch
I think she's possibly a bit subconsciously jealous that I haven't ballooned out and confused because her other DIL isn't petite ... I don't know

I am smaller then her grand daughters but I'm only 5ft 1

Even then what I eat can't control the size of a baby unless I had Gestational Diabetes!!
What does she think I eat one square of chocolate a day

It's just her way of sharing one of her million and one opinions

OP posts:
Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 12:13

You're tiny you're too small
I am fucking not

OP posts:
InMyBloodstainedSundaysBest · 01/02/2019 12:30

Tell her you can't know how big/small, healthy/otherwise a baby is from the size of a bump. My bump was tiny.. I could wear a big hoody and you wouldn't have known I was pregnant right up until the day I have birth.. my little girl was 8lb 5oz.

Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 12:33

I'm going to blank her instead
She's annoying

OP posts:
Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 12:33

So next time she says something I'll just walk off
She did this with my sons hair

And cut it four times without asking me when I had specifically said I was growing it

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 01/02/2019 12:39

And cut it four times without asking me when I had specifically said I was growing it
After the 1st time she wouldn't have had him on her own again.
Nothing wrong with you at all OP.
At 5 months people couldn't believe how much weight I'd lost.
I didn't really start showing until nearly 6 months.
But I couldn't keep a single thing down for the whole of my pregnancy.
My DD is 21 and perfect and beautiful.
Your MIL needs to learn she can't do this.
I think walking away is a good idea.
Every time. 'HOW RUDE' and walk away!
Hopefully it will help!?
Fingers crossed.

Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 12:42

@hellsbellsmelons honestly she's left me in tears so many times
My son had beautiful long curly hair and I came back from my birthday meal to it cut with lumps hacked off and she had the audacity to say to me she didn't think it would matter forgot to say wasn't thinking when I had said three days before I wasn't cutting it

My son loves her
I'm not sure of the appeal
My son is now on the 98th centile and thriving so his start weight hasn't had an impact on his development

I am offended by her

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 01/02/2019 12:43

"My son was premature and 4lb 4 last time"

Are the comments coming from a place of fear, is that also her GC?

It shouldn't be you that she's looking for reassurance from, though.

Your DH needs to speak to her.

Birdsgottafly · 01/02/2019 12:45

Did your DH want to leave your Sons her to grow?

What was his reaction?

MyBreadIsEggy · 01/02/2019 12:47

She cut your son’s hair?!!! Shock

I’d still be reeling from that, let alone the bump comments!!

mummmy2017 · 01/02/2019 12:47

Tell her.
Say look I have been told by Doctors I am fine but I find what your saying hurtful, I don't want to fall out with you, so I wonder if you know you are doing this,?

Original poster
brokenhead · 01/02/2019 12:49

No my husband wanted his hair also left as it was it was beautiful

She's really a busy body

OP posts:
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