Maintence and 18 yr old

[Girlintheframe]

Ok I think I maybe am BU I know but don’t know how to resolve this.
18 year old son finished college and turned 18 in July last year.
Assumed maintenance would stop once he had his birthday and CB stopped, it did not. Neither of us have contact with his dad and haven’t done for years.
Have phoned CMO twice now that he is 18 and in work. Last time I spoke to them in September they said my case had moved to another department who were in the process of closing it in the next 4 weeks.
We are now in Feb and I’m still getting payments! I don’t know how to get them to stop!
Son is working, zero hours contract and last month earned the whopping sum of £250.
Am obviously pushing him to get a different job. He is obviously struggling financially (trying to run a car), can’t afford to pay digs bar a token amount and is generally struggling each month.
My responsibilities didn't end when he suddenly turned 18 and I still have to feed him and keep a roof over his head.
Would IBU to use some maintenance for his living costs?

Morally he absolutely should still be paying and you should be able to use that money. Unfortunately legally he doesn't have to, and it is likely to be claimed back, so you are probably safer keeping hold of it if you can manage without. It is not fair!

In terms of confidence, sadly I had more confidence at 18 than I do at 57. The arrogance of youth. Obviously a lot more mature though.

We had this - make sure you have called child benefit and cancelled it as if you haven't done so it makes 'computer say no' at the CMS.

Also the CMS are really crap and slow. However they do have certain time frames they need to keep to. If you call them, mention that you may need to raise a complaint due to the time taken and that usually gets them moving,

Set the money aside and be scrupulously honest with CB and CMS and you may actually get to keep your overpayment.

Living at home is not going to incur that much more to the parents than if not. £150 given to the parents is going to cover the additional food and utilities used.

It means no luxuries at all, but again, with hard work, it should be expected that hours will increase whilst with looking at for another PT job and/or ft.

And yet in the eyes of the government if they go to uni at 18 they are still to be supported by parents. Oh the irony.

Very interesting point, I had forgotten about this. Independent in the government's eyes at 18, unless it will cost the government more money

Yes contacted CB twice, once to say DS has turned 18 and again to confirm they had actually stopped the payments on their system. Last time I spoke to CMO they confirmed that CB had stopped.
How long did they take to eventually stop the payments 10000days

Personally - at the moment with the way the economy is I would also look to him doing a college course that he can work around - giving him better job prospects in the long term but also giving you a couple of years grace re maintenance etc - he doesn't need to nec understnd that unless you have an open relationship in terms of discussing these costs etc. It might give him the breathing space he needs to make the zero hrs work work for him or find something with bettr core hours

You’re lucky tbh. I have a nearly 19 year old still doing A levels, costing me £80 a week in train fayer, tutors and a hobby and no contribution from the other parent at all. It’s infuriating

@Inliverpool1 My understanding was the nrp was to pay in those circumstances. Or is it a case that they have always evaded payment.

Oh no, the payments stopped the month before she turned 18 as he’d paid enough apparently... cms won’t do anything as “she is now over 18”

Well phoned CMO at 8.30..promised a call back by 10 and I’ve heard exactly nothing from them.
Apparently I need to speak to the team leader of the department dealing with shutting the case. Couldn’t give me a number to call them or their name. Call handler wouldn’t give me his name either except his 1st name.
Such a frustrating organisation to deal with! 3 times I’ve called now plus twice to CB (who were great).
I give up!

How much is it? Is it something you could pay back should they come knocking?

I would have to ring again and explain what payments you have had, and if you are able to spend same then request in writing maybe?

Or spend it and repay it at 20p a week as they seem to allow nrp to do with their arreas . 🤣🤣

Starlight456 - bloody good idea that. See as getting one back for all of us being shafted !

My understanding (as a woman whose husband pays his ex £400 per month via CMS) is that we pay until the school term following my SDD turning 18. So, if your son's birthday was April for example, your ex would pay up until the August after his birthday . Your ex would absolutely be able to claim it back from that point though. How does he pay? Is it via direct debit or standing order? If so, you can cancel it from your end.

If your 18 year old is still in education then it will be paid until he leaves compulsory education

You need to stop all this tying yourself in knots here. Take the money and if you're at all concerned, keep it to one side. Just stop all the calling and trying to close it off now - it does not stop the day a child turns 18

Unless you want to do yourself out of money?

NRPmum you are correct. If a child is in full time non advanced education ( up to A level ,NVQ 3 etc. ) they can have a part time job and still be eligible for child maintenance. When they start full time work maintenance and Child Benefit will stop.

@sandgrown thanks