Bit of background. Both myself and brother live at a distance from our mum who is in her 90s, in reasonable health for someone her age. She still lives in the family home [too big, but that's another story, she's ok at present]. She has carers come in and a cleaner a couple of hours a week. Cleaner does what Mum wants, she's been with her a long time and does a good job, cleans the kitchen, bathrooms, and loo, changes the bed, vacuums, helps her move things and other occasional jobs and whatever else needs doing or Mum wants. Sometimes she only comes once a week, if they both are ok with that, and has time off to go off on holiday or over Christmas.
We go up regularly just really to make sure all is ok and to see if anything needs doing. My brother was there over Christmas, and I came up a couple of days later after he'd gone back. He'd left the bathroom dirty, mucky sink, mucky glass shelf wet bathmat left on the side of the bath, not hung up to dry over the radiator, [Mum has a little bathroom off the bedroom]. I was rather annoyed that I had to clean the bathroom once I'd unpacked. hob in the kitchen too, he doesn't clean that either. When I visit I try and leave the rooms I use clean and tidy, strip the beds, the bedroom needs a vacuum, [ I can't do that as mum has no vacuum anymore], and everything reasonable in the kitchen. I want the cleaner to be able to do the usual stuff that needs to be done, not to have to clear up after me. Especially after not being there for a couple of weeks. I think he's been unreasonable, in this case, knowing I was coming. But in general, what do people think about cleaning before the cleaner comes in a situation like this? Do you clean up after yourself or just leave it for the cleaner. Am I being fussy?
We don't usually overlap on visits, but did a year or so ago when there were health problems, and I have to admit that some of his thoughtlessness really got on my nerves. Yes, should say something but family dynamics mean that it's less stressful to just sort things out myself. Saying something would make something worse tbh