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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know I am but I'm so fecking stressed!

13 replies

QueenOfIce · 31/01/2019 19:54

Dad was meant to have his triple heart bypass yesterday, took him to the hospital as per his letter on Tuesday afternoon. Spent 5 hours waiting only to be told there's no beds go home come back at 8am yesterday morning instead.

Took him home (40 min drive from hospital) yesterday morning we go back, we wait in the day room for 3 hours surgeon comes down and says unlikely he'll have his operation due to no ICU beds but to hang on incase it changes. Dad at this point has been nil by mouth and hasn't eaten or had a drink for 16 hours. We waited another 2 hours and they cancelled his operation, took him back home again.

2 hours at home they phone him he's 1st on the morning list there's a bed ready can he come back. Take him back in wait 3 hours to get him a bed, get him sorted at 10pm I said goodnight and went home. Called him at 05:30 before his shower, premed etc he was due into surgery at 07:30.

Heard nothing so at noon I called ICU he's not there no operations have been done so called the ward and he was prepped given his premed and then he waited. 1pm they cancelled his operation.

Dad at this point is so anxious, he's never been in hospital and to make matters more stressful tomorrow is mums anniversary she died in the same place.

I absolutely know it's not the hospitals fault, they didn't have enough staff to cover the beds and everyone was so lovely, however watching my dad suffer and be so anxious was horrible. I feel so fucking stressed! And breathe...

OP posts:
moomin4071 · 31/01/2019 19:58

FlowersFlowersFlowers

ReaganSomerset · 31/01/2019 19:59

Flowers It must be very difficult for you both. Waiting is the worst part with things like this. Thinking of you both and hoping he gets his surgery soon. x

NotHereForThis · 31/01/2019 19:59

Oh OP I’m so sorry. What a horrible situation. I’ll be thinking of you and keeping everthing crossed for your dad.

Creacaluaidhe · 31/01/2019 20:01

That is dreadful. I am so sorry that is happening to your dad. FlowersFlowers

QueenOfIce · 31/01/2019 20:19

Thank you, just needed to let off some steam!

OP posts:
Queenie8 · 31/01/2019 20:24

I'm so sorry OP, that's dreadful, but can I say thank you too? Both my dad and FiL have been those emergencies that took priority over your dad. Without those beds neither would be here. ♥️

QueenOfIce · 31/01/2019 20:27

I'm so glad they got the care they needed Queenie, both dad and I completely understand that it cannot be helped. The staff have been utterly amazing it's just hard to see dad going through such an anxious time and all the waiting around.

OP posts:
Queenie8 · 31/01/2019 20:44

Thank you Queen, they are both in rude health. My dad has unfortunately needed the ICU bed on 3 occasions over the last decade, but thankfully he has had second to none emergency care from all the amazing NHS staff.

I hope and pray for your dad to get his op tomorrow and be back on his feet very soon.

Oddcat · 31/01/2019 20:48

It might be worth complaining to PALS . It’s one thing cancelling ops ( I work in a hospital so know the problems) but totally unacceptable for someone to be NBM for so long .

I hope he has his op soon, I really feel for you x

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 31/01/2019 20:55

My partner was the one who knocked out three operating theatres in a London teaching hospital; they triggered a cardiac arrest during a routine procedure and they had to pull in three teams for 10 hours, to work on him, including open chest CPR and an emergency triple bypass.

Emergencies happen. People get bumped.

The way to look at it is - if you're still waiting, some one is worse off than you.

QueenOfIce · 31/01/2019 20:57

Read my op properly plain. How I feel is totally valid. There wasn't an emergency it was a staffing issue.

OP posts:
Menstruator · 31/01/2019 21:04

I feel your pain. I had an operation recently and was nbm so long I went in dehydrated. Tachycardia resulted and then a reaction to a drug and was quite ill, all so avoidable if able to at least drink until there’s a realistic chance you need to stop fluids in two hours. Sometimes it’s not just emergencies, so don’t feel too guilt tripped- mine was first a power cut, then simply beds not being cleaned to enable beds to empty on other wards. It’s not as simple as you are dreaming of leap frogging those in need!

It sounds really hard on him, a triple bypass is scary and a big deal and he is quite entitled to feel anxious.

Baconmaker · 31/01/2019 21:06

Horrible for you and your dad OP, no one would think YABU for feeling frustrated at the situation.

Plain I don't think OP is suggesting that her dad should go in front of an emergency but she's stressed her dad is scared and those feelings are totally reasonable.

I wish there were more beds and more doctors so these situations wouldn't happen.

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