Has anyone met a current DP/DH while with an ex DP/DH?

[namechanges0]

Has anyone been in a LTR/serious relationship and met someone else (while still in the relationship)?
Did you pursue it? How did it turn out?

I'm feeling guilty for some feelings I'm having (there isn't an OM).

Yes I did. Was in a v. Unhappy ltr (in hindsight a rebound relationship that outlived itself), I worked closely with someone and we developed a really deep friendship and I realised that I was attracted to him and we acted on it. I knew it was unfair to ltp so admitted it and we split. Married to work colleague now dh for 8 yrs. It was not my finest behaviour obviously, it would have been better all round if ltp and I had split first but I made the right decision.

Why are you avoiding the use of the word affair? Because that is what you mean, surely?

Well I "met" my 2nd husband while happily married to my 1st.
2nd H interviewed me for a job, I got the job and worked for him for about 10 years in a purely professional way before we then got together, my 1st H and I having separated a couple of years earlier.

I met DH while with an ex. We didn't have an affair. We didn't do anything until I had left my ex boyfriend. We didn't even discuss it.

My DH met me when he interviewed me for a PhD position (not with him as my supervisor but in his department). I was married at the time. My now ex DH had an affair and sometime after it I got together with my now DH. I always thought he was a really incredible person, but just in an admiring someone in your field who is extremely competent kind of way. There was never any flirting or anything until after I separated. Then got drunk one night and kissed and now very happy with kids and still in the same department.

I did. I was engaged to be married in the July, we met in March the same year. I realised that if I felt so strongly about the new person I met, the existing relationship wasn't right. So, I finished with the ex DP and began to date the new DP. My DM went nuclear.

We have now been married for over 30 years, and he still gives me butterflies when he comes home at the end of the day. I know that's cheesey But, he is the best father to our 3 DC's (now all grown up) and the best partner I could have hoped for.

I think I could have been happy with the original guy, if I hadn't met my now DH. He was a lovely man, who now has a family of his own. But it would have been a VERY different life.

Yes! I was engaged and the wedding was booked. Then I realised I had feelings for his friend, who I had known 6months. I freaked out, called off the wedding and told his friend my feelings. We have been married 10years. It was the right decision. I broke my ex’s heart but I never cheated. At the end of the day, whether I had got with my husband or not my relationship was over when I realised I wanted another man. End of. My ex did tell me a couple of years ago there were no hard feelings. He was a lovely man.

I met my current DP while with my previous. I didn't discuss my feelings with my now DP at all, but split up with my ex since I knew having such strong feelings for someone else meant I wasn't truly committed to him.

Split with my then ex, and months later my now DP made it clear he was interested and we started dating.

Yes, but only pursued it after breaking things off with my ex.

yup. Current DP started working with me a few months before me and ex broke up. I think we both had feelings before but nothing happened until I had broken up with my ex! We were pretty close friends during though :)

Yes, I was in a pretty horrible relationship but didn’t feel able to leave as he had completely destroyed my confidence/self esteem. I met a person at work and realised I was worth more than how my ex made me feel. I split with my ex and after a couple of months started dating the person at work.

We are celebrating 15 years this year.

Yes. But I knew the instant I met now-DH that he was the one. Broke up with my then partner a few days later, long before DH and I ever confessed our feelings to each other, let alone acted on them (although we both knew how the other felt without having to communicate it, it was such a strong connection). DH did the same. You can't control who you fall for but you can control your behaviour.

Yep. ExP's best mate. I split with exP and he split with his wife around the same time and we'd always liked each other but were stuck in shit relationships for the kids. We're married now and extremely happy.

I was in a relationship which often made me unhappy for 5 years when I was 19. We never lived together.
Always knew it wasn't very healthy, but I was blown away by the BF.

Then I met and got what I described to myself as a girlie crush on now DH. TBH, I was more relieved that the spell was broken with the BF, and I didn't think the new guy would ever like me - he was much older and much, much smarter.
We've been married for 23 years now.

Yes and have been married for 18 years.

I met my DH whilst with my ex, I split with my ex and got with my DH about a month later. Me and DH have been together 12 years now, married 2 and have 2 DC.

I met DH when I was at university. I had a boyfriend and we were friends.
My student relationship broke up in our third year and DH and I started spending time together when I came back from working abroad and we were both stuck doing shitty jobs in London.
The rest is history.

Yes, was with ex DP when drunkenly got together with DP, now living with DP and pregnant. It wasn’t great behaviour on my part but I’m sure ex has moved on with someone far more suited to him. He always seemed to want to change me. My mum also went ballistic at the time but has now massively revised her opinion! I’m far happier now and super in love.

Yes. Work colleague was working in my local area, instant attraction and chemistry.

Unfortunately im not proud of how it happened, but part of his work involved being in a hotel bar all evening (actually working, but allowed to drink...) So i met him as friends, and it ended with a kiss.

Ended things with ex, but not specifically for other guy, as he lived 3 hours away, but more in the sense that i shouldnt have wanted to kiss another guy.

But we gave long distance a go, its been amazing, and im moving in with him next month!

Feel bad about how it ended with ex, but it made me realise that it was not a happy relationship, and from the outside i can see that there was a lot of control/manipulative issues within the relationship. Still doesnt excuse the kiss, but i dont think i would have 'got out' if something hadnt happened iykwim.