To ask for help with this anger before I do something really stupid...

[shakingkatstevens]

I’ve NC.

Long story short - Relationship of two years broke up last week as I finally saw him for what he is... A 30 year old man child, reliant on drugs to get him through the day. A compulsive liar and not a very smart one at that.

Discovered today that he’s not only on a dating site already but he has also removed any trace of me from his life.

No mourning period?! Really?!

We talked about the future, he said he wanted the same things as me - For a while, I believed him. I let my guard down with him (not easy for a former abuse victim).

My DSis (without my knowledge) messaged him confronting him about his behaviour and he has sent a vile amount of abuse back, having a go at her but also having digs at me.

I am angry - More with myself for wasting my time and letting him bother me!

I’ve tried all evening to put him out of my head but I have a long history of holding grudges and acting recklessly out of anger.

I want to cave either his head or car windows in.

But I also want to forget and move on.

Help.

I dont think its that surprising tbh? My ex was living with a new woman 2 weeks after we split and I had his newborn baby. Some people move on quick just be relieved he is not your problem anymore!

If you want to hurt him then do nothing. Hold your head high, erase him from your life and if anyone asks make sure they know how much happier you are now you're not carrying around dead weight.

He's not worth you're emotions.

Men are just different to women 🤷‍♀️

Women tend to grieve more at first then one day it all clicks that was the right decision.

Men tend to just plough on and after a few weeks/months it can dawn what have lost.

The good thing is by the time realises and cones grovelling back you will have grieved and got it out your system!

I’m just burning up with rage.

I don’t exactly have high self esteem but I am a catch compared to him!

I have a lot of emotional baggage - But I work hard, own my home, have decent savings, I’m curvy but not fat and when I make an effort, I can turn heads!

He - He’s tall but well padded, has no intelligence or common sense about him and he’s lazy! Not to mention a complete disappointment in the bedroom (something I could overlook as size isn’t everything but there’s only so much you can do with 3 inches)

How can he treat me the way he has, then lose me and act like he doesn’t care?!

I know I sound entitled and full of it, I promise I am not.

I can’t describe how angry I feel that he can go back to a scummy life and be happier than he was when he was with me.

Walk away, head held high.

You don’t know if he’s happier or what his motives are. Going on a dating site so quickly sounds desperate to me and he probably knows all those things about you and that he won’t get anyone else the same.

BUT

His opinion of you is irrelevant. Stop giving him so much power. Focus on all those wonderful things you’ve just said and why it means that he doesn’t deserve you. You’ll meet someone who right for you.

Did you break up with him? If so, it's hardly surprising he didn't take kindly to your sister having a go at him for trying to move on.

Just be glad he is out of your life, when I broke up with my ex (simular reasons) he wouldn't drop it and would relentless try to contact me for months.

I would have been so so happy with him just going on dating sites and erasing me from his life.

This may not work for you but honestly no matter how bad my day has been, no matter how angry I am I always feel better when Ive been to zumba. I think its the endorphins. Fo you exercise?