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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling neglected by DH

4 replies

KateGrey · 30/01/2019 19:23

My Dh and me have three children. Two have special needs - the youngest is 6 and has a lot of difficulties. My dh and I made the decision for me to be a sahm though I did some contract work last year though we had a lot of issues with our youngest not being allowed into school. And dc would only be in for a couple of hours a day.

My dh has a few hobbies which is fair enough but they involve evenings. He normally plays at one of his hobbies once a week and does the other two evenings and on a Saturday morning. I don’t know if I’m IBU as I’d actually like to spend time with him but he seems to prefer going out - though he says it’s just because he has hobbies. I appreciate I have the daytimes to myself (though it’s hard to meet people so I’m alone aside from our dog during school time). It’s also hard when he goes out on some evenings as I’m left to put all the kids to bed. I suppose I just feel a bit lonely and neglected. But maybe I ought to try and craft a life myself but the school yard is cliquey and I tend to have quite solitary hobbies that aren’t overly compatible with family life like hiking which I don’t do as the dc have some physical issues.

OP posts:
BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 30/01/2019 19:25

It sounds like you could definitely with some shared interests a d to have him spend a bit more time with you. He'll argue all he does is work, but all you do is wait in the house and kids which is isolating, 24/7 and repetitive.

Areyouongluedear · 30/01/2019 19:30

Could you somehow have a day/evening here and there to yourself while he has the children? There’s some hiking groups on meetup.com that you could join. They organise hiking days and also social evenings or you could suggest some meets yourself or even start a new group of your own.

Hoopaloop · 30/01/2019 19:50

Do you have any interests that you want to pursue? If so, what is stopping you? If not, why?

NameChangeNugget · 30/01/2019 19:59

I think you need to pursue some of your own interests. I don’t think he’s doing much wrong here

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