To ask about PND?

[Nothisispatrick]

And how you cope on a day to day basis?

It has developed quite recently, last three weeks or so. I have already been to the GP and am waiting for an appointment for therapy, but what else can I do?

I feel awful, I cry all the time, I can’t cope with any of life’s basic stresses like spilling a drink or forgetting something. DD is 4 months and a very easy baby, but any crying or whinging drills in to my head until I can’t think. Even being mildly tired sends me over the edge.

I’m very lucky as DP works from home full time and can help out a lot, he also does most of the night feeds. I was able to have a nap today and he’s done most of DD’s care, but this is not a long term solution. He needs to get work done and has a lot of conference calls, some days he goes in to the office. He can’t do everything and I can’t stay in bed all day, as much as I would like to.

I feel horrible guilt all the time. Guilt at how much DP has to do, guilt for DD, we didn’t go to our baby class this morning which I usually love as I couldn’t stop crying, i bought myself a jumper yesterday when we went shopping to get DD new books and I felt so consumed by guilt over it we had to come home and it’s now waiting in the car for me to return (I was too embarressed to return it right after I’d bought it). I don’t even know why I’m guilty about that.

I know lots of MNers have had similar experiences so how did you do it? I can’t live like this.

I took anti depressants.
Was lucky that I saw a consultant whilst pregnant who talked me through any side effects for the kids.
They helped massively.

If you’re dead set against meds, I found that making sure I had something in my diary to do every day (meet someone for cake, go to a baby group, go to the supermarket) helped massively. But in my case, at least, I needed the support from the meds to be in a place where therapy would work.

Big hugs to you.

Thank you. How long were you on the medication for?

I had pnd with my second child. He wasn't planned and we had an 18 month old too. I felt awful, I couldn't sleep and was awake for 3 days. When I did sleep I had horrible nightmares about fires and only being able to save one child. I wasn't eating and felt like I was never good enough. I used to leave him to cry as the noise rattled my brain. My mum took me to the hospital, they gave me an injection of tramadol to knock me out so I could sleep. They urgently referred me to my Dr who prescribed me prozac.
It took a while to work, but once it kicked in I felt so much better. I was on them for a year.
I hardly have any photos of my son from when he was little as I didn't feel I deserved to take any - that's one thing I regret.
My son is now 14 and we have a great relationship. We are close and although he's a moody teenager he still gives me hugs and tells me that he loves me.
Please don't punish yourself for not being able to help as much. You are poorly.

Anti-depressants were the only thing that helped me. I was on 60mg of fluoxetine for 9 months, then dropped to 40mg where I am now (DD is 1 year old). They changed everything for me. I so understand how you feel OP. It's awful. But you can and will get through it, I promise.

I’ve been on them since - baby is now a year old. Still helping, still feeling better. They were the only thing that helped in my case.

I took anti depressants for 18 months. They gave me the strength to get myself together and take control.

I had therapy and took meds. They helped me feel alive again.

Thanks. Perhaps I will go back to the gp and discuss medication.

Don't be scared of meds, I was but they made such a difference so quickly. Good luck x

I was really reluctant to take medication, but it was the only thing that helped. I took sertraline for 6 months with both my children. Be kind to yourself, it's a horrible thing and not your fault xxx

Anti-depressants had never worked for me in the past and I was reluctant to take them too. But they worked remarkably well for PND.

I had PND and didnt take meds because I was scared, though wish I had done. I found having plans every day helped, I was scared of being alone with my daughter and as long as I got out and about I could sort of manage it.

I have booked a follow up appointment to ask for meds. Ultimately I need a way to function in the day so dp can work.

I don’t find it makes a difference whether we go out or stay in. Staying in I feel claustrophobic and guilty for dd not getting out, if we go out if I feel stressed and overwhelmed.

I found getting out really hard when my PND was at its worst. It will get easier, I promise.

The medication will work OP, but it takes a few weeks to be fully effective. Don’t give up if you don’t see any benefit at first.
There may be side effects too, but these usually settle within a week or two.
Inappropriate guilt is a very common feature of depression, along with feeling undeserving of any treats or pleasure, and having low mood and motivation. Recognise that these thoughts are not the real you - they’re just symptoms of your illness, and will lift as your medication gets on board. Be gentle with yourself, accept that you are ill but will recover. Don’t set impossible targets and then beat yourself up for failing to achieve them - some days, just getting out of bed will need a major effort. Forget housework, drop your standards and just focus on getting through this and healthy again. My best wishes for happier times ahead when you are able to enjoy life and motherhood properly again. God bless.

Thank you, that’s really good to hear. I do feel guilty all the time.