AIBU to jack it all in?

[NellyandKelly]

For the last near-on decade I've run my own business. Started off as a freelancer, working from home as I was unwell, gradually built it to quite a few staff and a bigger, proper office. Should feel super proud of myself, especially as it's not been an easy road (can't say too much as it'll be super outing, but the last 10+ years have not been kind to me, haha).

However, I'm sitting in the office after everyone has gone home just sobbing. I feel so utterly overwhelmed it's unreal. I have huge bills coming out of my ears, I don't know if my profit margins are high enough to sustain the business long term, and I pay myself less than the majority of my staff just to keep it afloat. I'm exhausted! My DH and I can't even consider getting ourselves a mortgage or anything, just because of our income situation. I always have more month than money left.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my job, I love my staff, and I love what I do. I should be so happy but I have this horrid imposter syndrome like I just have no idea what I'm doing (which I don't) and that I should just give it all up. Especially when it comes to paying myself a pittance at the end of each month.

I don't really have anyone I know that I can talk to about it and I've looked into coaches/mentors and stuff but
a) They're really expensive usually
and b) Most of them seem to have less actual real-world business experience than me.

Then you have all of the 'motivating' business speakers who shirk you for not being a millionaire and conquering the world by 30.

I'm nearly in my 30s now and I'm just wondering if I should go back to being freelance, have a few kids, get rid of the stress of running a business and keeping staff happy, and resign myself to failing that chapter of my life.

AIBU to want to jack it all in?

like I just have no idea what I'm doing (which I don't)

If this is true after 10 years in business then definitely jack it all in! You really should know what you’re doing by now!

Secondly if it’s not making enough, then it’s not a viable business. Either fix the problem or shut up shop.

Could you not increase profit margins? Do you have an accountant that could give you advice?

Nothing is worth sacrificing your mental health for

Hope you can get some help. An accountant would be a good place to start.

Don't get me wrong, I know enough to have done the last 10 years in business! I pay my staff and my taxes on time, I do all of the stuff I'm supposed to do legally and all of that - I just feel like I'm missing something, like I should be doing something so much more. I'm unsure if that's imposter syndrome, like I feel like a fake because I never did any kind of business training, or if I really am missing something.

In terms of profit, essentially I need about 10 staff in total to be making a really impressive amount. I have the demand, I just don't have enough staff. Bottle necking, I guess. My fear is having too many people and not being able to handle that many because (and it goes back to the same thing), I feel like I'm not doing it right!

DH and I found this after running a business for 20 years, it was very successful but the market changed and the last few years we were working crazy hours to keep the staff in jobs.

We never made an actual loss but it seemed too big to make any meaningful changes beyond huge investment and to be honest we were too tired and overwhelmed.

We sold it to a bigger company (who are doing great) and now it's just the two of us doing similar stuff on a smaller scale.

Work life balance is SO much better.

Could you sell your company?

To be fair over 20 years we never matched the volume of work to staff ratio. Always worrying about one or the other.

That's normal in a fluctuating market isn't it?

It sounds like you probably just need a break.

Sometimes growth isn't always best if it comes too fast.

You could try selling or find a good Investor?