Help me organise my day better

[Chipbutty67]

I have 2 DC, 6 and 3. My dh often comes home from work around 7 (but this is massively variable and could be 12). I’m a SAHM and I find routine helps a lot with my days but I always mess up the last part of the day and I’m sure I’m missing something.

So DC2 (3 y o) is an early bird and so am I. A typical day will look like this: get up at 6:30, do my housework (organised mum), get myself and breakfast ready, wake the kids at 7:30, dressed, breakfast and off to school/ nursery. I’ll then head to the gym, quick work out and to a hot desk as I work part time self employed. At 12:30 I’ll pick up DC2 and head home. Clean up breakfast, give him lunch, clean up lunch, prep dinner and then play with him till 2:30 when we leave to pick up DC1. DC1 has after school activities 3 days out of 5 (loves them and does them with friends), if not we’ll head to the park or shops. Get home around 4:30, have an after school snack, do homework, have a bath and final clean of the house before dinner. This takes us up to about 6:30.

Here’s where my problem comes in: I’m just shattered by this point and I find it the most trying part of the day. It’s a battle to make both kids eat, the kitchen is a bomb site afterwards, and the absolute worst bit is I’m so snappy with poor DC1 who I’ve hardly seen all day. Often, cleaning up after dinner gets left to the next day, which makes me stressed first thing in the morning. I don’t have patience for a leisurely bedtime story.

The worst part is my grumpiest part of the day is the part I spend with DH and DC1.

Not sure how I can avoid the dinner time trap?

Dinner is too late. Cleaning too prioritised.

Put the kids in the bath later

Take up a cup of tea with you and a paper and let them play while you rest

Let them eat a couple of kids tv episodes and whizz round the kitchen

Alternatively ask DH to do bed time or the kitchen - le this chose

I wouldn't worry about a snack at 4.30 then late tea. Snack straight from school (if needed) tea at 5, playtime/down time, bath and then bed

Can the kids not eat at 5.30 to give you more time to play, then baths etc?

Could you make dinner in the middle of the day, when it is quieter and you are less tired, so that you only have to reheat/ put on rice/pasta, so that the kitchen is less of a bombsite?

Could you have some kind of positive reinforcement (stickers/ marble jar) at the dinner table to focus their minds to eating? Could you make dinner a little earlier, so that they are less tired when eating?

Can you read stories to both of them at the same time?

Start tea when you get home at 4.30pm, 6.30 is way too late for young children IME. Clean after dinner if you like to, but it seems odd to clean before dinner if you are complaining that the place is in a state afterwards (as most kitchens would be at that point!).

They don’t need a bath every day either.

I would be inclined to bin the snacking, give them dinner at 5pm, into pjs at 6pm and into bed at 6.45pm

Ds 4 eats so much better at 430 than 630.
Too tired by then.

You lost me at "wake the kids at 7.30" I wish...

Anyway, I agree with bringing tea/dinner earlier - do the dc both get cooked meals midday? I'm guessing at least dc1 has school dinners? Do bath before bed but no need to do every night, especially not in winter, if it's easier not to. Then you could have time with dc1 once dc2 is down? That's what I'm supposed to be doing now...

Does your dh not help with anything? Get a cleaner if you can afford it in that case... and get the 6yo to start helping. But also give yourself a break, it is the hardest part of the day often and there's a lot to fit into a small window. Do the minimum

When do you and dh eat?

Come home, snack (Small snack) start making dinner when you get in. Dinner at 5/5.30, clear up while the kids play, then you won't have dishes etc in the morning. Bath at 6.30. Story bed for whenever bedtime is and then you can relax for a bit and go to bed early.

I would miss out the park bit and go straight home. I get tea on for the kids early as they are ready to eat their own arms when they come home from school. They eat and I'm cleared up by 5 -5.30. Then chill, play, homework until bath time. Put DH's food in the microwave for later or save yours if you want to eat later with him. I think sometimes it's too difficult to all eat together if you are waiting until that time.

The first part your day is similar to mine, although my dc2 is much younger so isn't at nursery and both of my kids are up at 6.45 /9 no tidying before they wake.

After school we have a quick snack, then a play before I start dinner around 4.20, aiming to eat by 5.30 at the very latest. That way the kitchen is cleared by 6, 6.15 and there's time for either a bath and a story or a play together before bed at 7 for dc2 and 7.30 for dc1.

Not saying it's perfect but it works for us!

Coffee at 3

Dinner is too late. Try to make it at 6pm by the very latest. Dinner first and then bath after it. If I have a bath before dinner, I'm never very hungry.

Mine eldest is 3 and I find she’s too tired to eat dinner later on. I would just do dinner when home at 4:30. I also prefer to do the bath just before bed as I can just let them have fun/wind down without having to prompt them to do much, unlike dinner.

I used to do dinner for when DP got back - around 6 - and that just pleased no one. It was too late for the children, put pressure on him not to be late, and cooking was stressful because they were tired.

However, 12 hours into a pretty packed day and it’s not unreasonable that you’re knackered.

Agree about kids being too tired to eat. My youngest didn't eat much at teatime at that age, we had to make the most of meals earlier in the day. When he was 9 and a chorister, we had to give him something to eat in the car on the (short) way home after evensong because he would be too tired if we waited till we got home.

Ah ok, consensus is for dinner earlier. That would help a lot as it’s the after dinner clean up which kills me. DC1 is usually starving straight after school so needs a pretty hearty snack (jacket potatoe w beans and cheese, toastie sandwiches, pasta etc) and I think that’s why he isn’t interested in dinner

I think I just worried they might be quite hungry if they ate their last meal at 5:30

@ILiveInSalemsLot

Haha, coffee all day everyday to get me through

Does everyone give some sort of pre bed snack?

DC1 is usually starving straight after school so needs a pretty hearty snack (jacket potatoe w beans and cheese, toastie sandwiches, pasta etc)

There's ypur mistake, you are feeding them a large amount of food when they came home, price of fruit and a yoghurt or some crackers and cheese etc wpuld be plenty, you're feeding them a meal not a snack and then trying to feed them another meal quite soon after.

My kids will have a snack when they come home, then dinner around 5.30. sometimes later but mine are older. Then sometimes they want some toast or something before bed, depending on how much dinner they have eaten.

I don't see the benefit in a later tea :keep it at 4.30pm then biscuits and milk before bed

Kids don't need a bath every day

1 hour each morning + cleaning after lunch + cleaning again before dinner sounds like a lot of cleaning

Earlier dinner sounds better. To avoid cooking multiple meals, could you cook for children and reheat it for you and DH later? Or cook for you and DH, and reheat it for children the following day?

Does everyone give some sort of pre bed snack?

No, only if it's a midnight snack for a sleepover