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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my 7 year old ds ( 8 this year ).....

43 replies

Allyg1185 · 30/01/2019 17:51

To do simple things unattended like brushing his teeth, going for a shower? By unattended I mean I'm in another room and he's within earshot before anyone has a go for me not supervising him.

Everything I ask him to do seems to be a faff about. Takes forever or isn't done right. He will do these things but it's in his own sweet time. I have to still be in the bathroom when he does his teeth cause if not he gives them the quickest skirting over and out.

Just kind of thought by almost 8 he could do small tasks with me standing over the top of him.

Please tell me others this age are like this to?!

OP posts:

Bathbombs · 30/01/2019 20:24

My dentist friend was still brushing her kids teeth at 12 so I still do most brushes at 10 and 7.
Wrt showers-both can do it and once cajoled in are fine but need a push to get in there

CherryPavlova · 30/01/2019 20:28

They should be capable of showering and bathing when they are seven. Teeth are so important, they need supervising. I can’t imagine wanting me brushing their teeth when they were ten.

Unihorn · 30/01/2019 20:31

8yo DSD still has to be told to flush the chain and wash her hands after using the toilet so expecting her to shower and brush her teeth well is asking the world here! She also loses 90% of her possessions and forgets what we've told her about 30 seconds later. Part of it is an age thing too I think.

m0therofdragons · 30/01/2019 20:50

My dentist said brush until age 6 then dc can do it. My dtds are 7yrs 5 months and have been brushing on their own for 6 months. Dental check in December was perfect so we will let them carry on. They shower after swimming but need reminding to get out of the shower or they'd stay for hours! Dd1 started showering reliably on her own at 10.

formerbabe · 30/01/2019 20:52

My ds is nearly 11 and would never brush his teeth if it wasn't for me reminding him!

Nannyplumbrocks · 30/01/2019 20:52

God I'm still brushing my 7 yr olds teeth and bathing them

jarhead123 · 30/01/2019 20:55

My 8&10 year old do these things alone but need prompting/checking/reminding. No advice but I feel your pain!

Haggisfish · 30/01/2019 20:56

Me too nanny! Teeth especially-they are just crap at it. Showering-they don’t wash or rinse hair thoroughly enough.

PepperSteak · 30/01/2019 21:02

I teach seven year olds. Everything if a faff. For all 30 of them! No wonder I’m going grey!

Original poster

Allyg1185 · 30/01/2019 21:06

Maybe it is just an age thing

OP posts:

Cheesycheesytwist · 30/01/2019 21:09

I still brush my 7 year olds teeth in the evening....she has quite a few of her adult teeth now so I will be brushing them as long as she'll let me (maybe until secondary?), I want to help her keep them in good condition

ChariotsofFish · 30/01/2019 21:13

How can 7 be too young to shower alone?! What might happen? My DS does that no problem. Teeth my DS requires supervision, he has a timer thing so does it for long enough but not always enthusiastically.

anniehm · 30/01/2019 21:14

Yes by 7 they should be able to do these alone but will need reminding/prompting in my experience. Same goes for simple chores, they are quite capable but won't think to do them until you ask!

Atalune · 30/01/2019 21:14

Dd who is 7 could run a FTSE 500 company and still have time to chivvy her older brother into getting his shit together.

She can do so much! She’s type A, totally capable, focused and smart.

Ds- 10. Will wander around with one sock on at 8.59am and then get annoyed that I’m shouting at him to “get ready for achool”.
He’s unbelievably clever and an absolute delight. However he is so disorganised. He needs constant nudges. Gawd knows what will happen when he does to big school.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/01/2019 21:21

I didn't think I was particularly strict, but I wouldn't tolerate this. My dd, 8, has a clock in her room, she knows we leave for school at 8.30, she needs to be ready by the door for then, no involvement from me whatsoever. Wouldn't occur to me. She (her older sister neither) has never not been there ready to go. I'll do their hair if they want something elaborate!

Nomdejeur · 30/01/2019 21:34

My DS showers himself, including washing all his bits and his hair. He’ll also get himself out and dry and puts his jammas on. I supervise the tooth brushing or sometimes do it myself, he would only tickle his teeth otherwise. He gets himself dressed after swim lessons as he won’t go in the ladies changing room. He can’t tie shoe laces. Some things he’s good at, other things I think I still have a toddler.

MillieMoodle · 30/01/2019 22:01

DS1 is nearly 8. He does teeth himself with an electric toothbrush but I do check and sometimes do them for him. He is learning to shower himself and dry himself off but can get dressed/ready for bed ok. We are trying to encourage independence - it's an uphill battle as he's always done things in his own sweet time, but he seems quite pleased when he realises he can do stuff himself!

CloserIAm2Fine · 30/01/2019 22:02

I take brownies as young as 7 away and obviously I don’t help them shower. I do stand outside the shower block nagging them to hurry up because they dawdle and chat, but they’re expected to get themselves clean!

I prompt them to clean their teeth but don’t inspect to see how well they’ve done it, although I do send back the ones who earnestly tell me theyve done it while clutching their bone dry toothbrush often I have them actually asking to go and clean their teeth though! I think it’s mostly the novelty of doing it away from home, and it signals the start of bedtime which is exciting at sleepovers or pack holiday.

I do appreciate that it’s very different having a bunch of kids on an exciting trip away from home to having the drudgery of doing it at home Day in day out! Everything is more exciting for them when it’s a novelty at that age! And if they don’t do a very thorough job of personal hygiene, it’s only a weekend so it won’t really hurt.

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