My 15 year old son is lovely, but ......

[ComeOnComeOnComeOnGetThroughIt]

He's kind, thoughtful, clever and handsome, but he has the personal hygiene standards of...well...someone with very low standards. I still have to tell him to have a shower, remind him to put deodorant on, and even to clean his teeth. He just wouldn't do it if I didn't prompt him. AIBU to hope that tell it will suddenly all click into place soon?

wash your hair USING SHAMPOO so glad it's not just me saying that

My 22 year old does shower every day but the rest of his personal hygiene is appalling. Never washes hands, bedding, towels. Not too bad with clothes. He probably washes his bedding about 2 or 3 times a year and I end up washing his towels as they smell the bathroom out. I can’t get understand how he can shower and then dry himself with a towel that stinks. I honestly think he is noseblind.

I am a veteran and deserve a badge of honour for perseverance but sadly it's just normal
The minute my ds went to 6th form I had to change my working hours as he would steal the shower while I was getting a cup of tea.
They learn it all.by themselves often.

@Liberated71 oh god, I hope you are exaggerating my saying he hasn’t brushed his teeth since Christmas!!

I went through a period where I hated brushing my teeth as a teenager. It did irreparable damage to my teeth. The pain of having to have serious tooth repair is awful. And it costs an absolute fortune.
My friend lost several teeth due to gum disease. The smelling bad is unfortunate but the refusal to brush teeth is a real real problem.
But how do you make someone see that? Very tricky.

When I joined the RAF (many years ago) we were all 16/17 yo. We had a shower dodger and he refused to listen to our complaints. Eventually we all banded together, dragged him outside, stripped him off and used Vim with yard brooms to scrub him down. After three of these interventions he got the message!

I am a secondary teacher. So many teens are like this. To the extent that once or twice I've raised CP concerns fearing neglect, but no, they are just manky because they don't want to shower. Sometimes at the end of the school day I have been around so many sweaty, stinky teens that I have to have a shower.

And Lynx is bullshit, buy Mitchum.

Oh Jesus Christ. My oldest boy has just hit puberty, reeks to high heaven if he doesn’t use deodorant, and has to be nagged about every single aspect of personal hygiene.
When he’s been at his Dad’s I get “but I had a shower two days ago!”, like that means he’s exempt from washing himself? I thought it’d get better soon, but you’re all saying he could be like this for years!? Oh God.

“Wash your hair WITH SHAMPOO ” is also very familiar in this house.

On the other hand, my young teenage daughter hogs the bathroom for over an hour every single evening and always smells clean and lovely. So I guess I’m lucky to have one who isn’t allergic to water!

My DS is just a month shy of 17 and in the past 3 mths we have turned a corner ! He smells wonderful now, showers every morning, wears clean clothes and always does his teeth. Not sure what triggered it, because before I was having to be direct and in telling him he smelt and give specific instructions-Use the shampoo and the gel, wash your teeth etc etc and almost follow him upstairs to the bathroom to make sure he didn't get sidetracked with something else. He always grumbled and complained but did it.
He doesn't have a girlfriend, ( that I'm aware of) he just started being cleaner on his own accord it would seem.
DD15 lives in the bloody bathroom !

So there is a light I believe, OP hang in there..

It's not like I went to shower school made me laugh 😂. Feeling some great solidarity here and am encouraged by tales of hygiene turnaround.

DS11 is exactly the same.

He would literally wear the same clothes (including underwear) every. Single. Day.

I have to tell him to brush his teeth, get a shower, put clean underwear on etc etc

He would also happily live in total pigsty. Doesn't make his bed, dirty dishes/cups acclimating on the windowsill, dirty clothes piled UP AGAINST THE FUCKING WASH BASKET HE ASKED FOR FOR XMAS!!!!

I'm at a total loss.

I've tried leaving him to it in the hopes he'll get fed up of the mess, but nope.

I've tried bribery - pocket money/rewards - not one bit of difference.

When I joined the RAF (many years ago) we were all 16/17 yo. We had a shower dodger and he refused to listen to our complaints. Eventually we all banded together, dragged him outside, stripped him off and used Vim with yard brooms to scrub him down. After three of these interventions he got the message!

This fills me with hope because DS has his heart set on joining the RAF

My 14 yr old smells like a goat.
This gave me a belly laugh out loud!!
My teenage ds developed an adversion to water stage. It would turn into world war three getting him to wash. The struggle was real!! Had to keep on reminding him that we have taps that actually has water running out of them!! Thankfully he has turned them on now and he does get the concept!!

I found out by kissing my DH goodbye this morning, having just dropped him at work, that he hadn't brushed his teeth. FFS.

DD15 has just turned a corner recently (first proper boyfriend), and showers daily. she used to be a disgrace. including not cleaning her teeth, but having a braces at 12 sorted this out (she was determined to have lovely straight teeth).

DS13 is pretty bad. sometimes he just drowns himself in lynx/aftershave if he can't be bothered. he's disgusting with his teeth too - he's happy to spend longer at the sink pretending to brush them than he would need to spend actually brushing them. and often comes out of the shower after muddy football matches with mud still on his knees. i think he thinks showers are just for washing hair.

DS9 is ok - just the one reminder needed. but he can't stand getting water in his eyes, and so never showers without his swimming goggles on. he's pretty good with his teeth.

Boys are gross! My 12 yr old constantly has to be reminded to actually wash - he just stands under the water in the shower and comes out with wet greasy hair. Constant refrain for 8 yr old DS is 'brush your teeth WITH TOOTHPASTE', and I still wash his hair or he would literally never do it.
4 yr old DD has it completely sussed, will remember if she needs to was her hair today or not (do it every other day), sorts her own teeth, and will sing you a little song about why it's important to be clean.

My eldest DS is now in his 20's he used to hate brushing his teeth and showering as a teen now he is regimental about it .My eldest DD 12 is in the bath every day at ,but teeth brushing there is another whole ball game she will do it reluctant but has recently been told she prob need braces so she is now much better. Her younger sister is spot on at brushing her teeth but wont have a bath every night .

I have another DS13 who spends longer pretending to clean their teeth in the bathroom than actually doing it.

What the heck is that about?

Also, after many years of toilet training 8-10 years ago, seems to be incapable of leaving a toilet in a fit for human state.

Every evening I go in and it's like the betting shop toilet in Trainspotting.

I stand over him while he halfheartedness tries to clean it (first attempt he was going to wet a bit of toilet paper and just try to rub the seat )

I've told him that I think he's basically going to have to live with me forever unless he improves because I will not unleash him on some poor unsuspecting woman.

I'm clearly in the minority but my ds is infuriately clean and immaculate looking everyday. Hogs the bathroom every morning but in fairness always looks and smells lovely.
I haven't particularly encouraged it and he's been like this since he was 11!