AIBU not to buy own place if I move in with boyfriend?

[singme]

Looking at moving in with boyfriend in the next few months after being together a year.

I’ve been saving for a flat deposit for years, still don’t have quite enough but getting there. Currently I rent. He owns his flat, he previously had a lodger but they moved out and he hasn’t replaced them, mainly because I’m round there a fair bit already.

Things are really great between us and we love each other very much however I’m aware of the need to protect myself if things do go wrong.

I think we would buy a bigger place together in a couple of years, but that leaves me off the property ladder until then.

I had thought of buying a small flat to let out, but looking into this I think I’d struggle to get a mortgage for this and may struggle to get rent to cover costs, especially as I don’t have lots of spare cash to cover eventualities as a landlord.

Other option is just keep saving, if we do split up I’ll still have my savings and I can buy somewhere then. I think I would maybe in this case say that if we aren’t buying somewhere together in another year,
to think about me paying off some of the mortgage and owning some of the flat.

I’ve read so many threads where the woman owns a place and all the posters say not to let their boyfriend move in and he should buy his own place! I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to think I’m just after a piece of his home!

Anyone been in this situation moving into a partners home?

Keep saving, so much is happening with the market right now. But do make sure your savings are ring-fenced. Continue putting a bit aside each month and do not touch it. If you're going to help him out with expenses, make sure you protect yourself that way too and account for it properly.

Thanks! Yes, also pre Brexit I’m not massively keen to spend all my money on a flat I don’t know what I’m doing with!

I’ll obviously pay half bills, council tax, food etc. Not sure about mortgage or whether just to put that in a separate account. I’ll still be paying less than rent though so will be able to save more.

I’m 31 and would like kids one day so I don’t think buying our own house is too many years away, and the thought of a buy to let just seems so much hassle if I’ll be selling it in the next couple of years!

Maybe if I could invest in something clever that would be great

Exactly it. You can put your money to work for you elsewhere or, just keep saving and have it as a massive fund. I'm sure other netters will have further suggestions.

I second keeping saving and don't touch it! due to the current economic uncertainty you will be unlikely to lose out by not buying now.......prices are not rising or very little. In some areas they are falling.
However l wouldn't bank on that lasting endlessly, there will be a rebound in prices once stability returns and Brexit is settled.

If you want to invest have you thought of a managed holiday cottage? far better returns than BTL. But you will need to do a lot of research and understand what makes a secure investment. Do lots of homework first, but it could be a very good investment.

Unless you marry don't let your savings be eaten up with BFs mortgage, keep your nest egg or invest wisely.

DON'T put your savings in a joint account with his, and don't offer to pay for big ticket repairs to his proprerty that use up your savings!

Yes it's fine as you keep your savings completely ringfenced. Don't use them for anything else, don't use them towards repairs for his flat etc.

I would consider putting them in the type of account you can't even access for a period of time to make sure you can't be persuaded to make them "joint" in any way.

Keep saving and whatever you do don't give any to him. Pay rent to him as you do now. Don't end up losing everything. I wouldn't buy a place with him in the next few years unless you are married or have a very good solicitor and contracts and agreements etc!

I lived in DHs flat with him for about a year early into our relationship; I paid half the mortgage and bills and saved money towards my own deposit either for my own place if we split or a joint place in future. If we’d rented a similar place it would have cost me about £150 more a month so it felt like a good deal for me too. He talked about putting a new kitchen in at one point but there wasn’t any discussion about me putting money into it. I did pay towards redecoration but that was because we wanted it to be our place rather than his that I’d moved into rather than it actually needing redecorating and it was only about £50.
Later on he sold it and we put our money together to buy a joint place.

You're being incredibly sensible. I'd put your cash in a savings account where it can't be easily withdrawn and if he wishes, start another account for household expenses. Slightly different situation but me and DP have lived together 2 years so I recently sold my flat that has been sitting empty. The proceeds are now sitting in a separate savings account, he pays for his house expenses and I cover 2/3 bills (I have a DD so this is fair) We share the costs of treats like takeaways, holidays etc. He pays more towards those as a higher earner. If he's a good guy he'll understand you wanting to keep some financial independence til you've lived together a while. Alternatively, if he wants you to put your savings into his house, the mortgage is then in both your names so you're entitled to your share if it doesn't work, but seriously best of luck OP! Hope you have a lovely happy future x

Thanks for tips. I now feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Yes my savings will be totally separate and mine. To be honest boyfriend has a lot more savings than me anyway so probably he has more to lose.