to think that wanting another baby and wanting another child are not the same thing?

[Buggerbuggerbuggerargh]

I have one DS who is nearly three. I love him so much but I find motherhood incredibly difficult. When he was first born I swore I would not be having any more but now more and more I feel a desire for another baby. I love newborns and the newborn stage with DS was my favourite.

However, I am not stupid and I know that babies grow up. I feel no desire for another child. I hate it when people say "oh you'll regret not having another but you'll never regret having one". Just don't think that's true at all. DS is my world and I would not give him up for anything but had I known how difficult I would find being a parent before I had him I might not have done it. I find the constant worry about him so draining.

As a family of three who are pretty financially secure life in spite of this is pretty easy for us and I am very risk averse and don't want to upset what we have by bringing another child into the mix. When I speak to people about this they say as I am broody for another baby that must mean I want more kids. AIBU that this is not the same thing at all!!!!

I totally agree and I have 2 children.

I long for a baby all the time, I would have a hundred babies but I do not want any more children. It is bloody hard work and I take my hat off to those who have large families.
The worry is a big thing for me too, my son has problems at school making every day stressful for the family. I don't see things getting any better even when he reaches adulthood. I see a life of worry ahead of me.
They wear me out constantly, the noise, oh the noise. Don't get me wrong I do love having 2 children and I don't regret them but even though they were both planned I didn't think it through properly and we ttc our 2nd child when our first wasn't even a toddler so still in the honeymoon period of baby stuff. Children are very hard work!

I have 5 children. No desire for any more but would love more babies. In a perfect world I would magically be 4 months pregnant then pass the baby on to someone else at about six months old. No more potty training or weaning just newborn snuggles 💕

Sometimes I wish my baby was a younger baby, she got mobile much earlier than anticipated. I miss the days when I could set her somewhere leave the room to get something and come back and she'd be exactly where I left her.

So I kinda get what you're saying OP.

Totally agree with you. I miss having a squishy little newborn almost enough to go through another pregnancy but really couldn't cope with another toddler/child.

I totally agree, and I also hate the 'you'll regret not having another thing". Surely it's much better to have to deal with that regret than having another and wishing you hadn't?!

Like other posters, I would like another child but can't handle the thought of another baby/toddler. I honestly don't think I (or my marriage) would survive it.

I disagree with you. Unless you are thinking of adopting an older child, it is a new baby you will bring into the family. Then naturally the baby grows into a child and beyond. Your DS is your world and you can’t imagine another child in the family. But this is a gradual process! While this is all perfectly obvious, I have never ever met a parent who wanted to hand their baby back once she reached one or whatever. You just move onto the next stage and your family grows with you and your DS will be older by then.

I feel like you OP. I miss the newborn stage immensely and would love another baby. But another child? No way!

I have only one; she’s a toddler now and I wouldn’t want to upset the balance we have. She gets everything and my undivided attention. I don’t think she’d take kindly to sharing us.

I know lots of people who regretted number 2, including one of my siblings.

I’m definitely in the ‘would love another child but not a baby’ camp. I love both my DSs dearly but found looking after them totally soul-destroying for the first few months, and then frankly just boring until they were about 1. Once they can get about a bit though and start turning into their own people it’s fab. DS2 has just turned 18 months and everyone keeps saying I must be so sad he’s leaving babyhood behind, but I’m actually rejoicing. I love toddlers!

Totally agree.

See I'm the opposite, I'd love another child but I do not want another baby.

The baby stage is over in a flash. Only have a second if you want another child/teen/adult to look after and worry about (and love, and be loved by, of course!) in your life.

I am the opposite. Want a child but don't want the birth or baby/toddler stage. Current DD is 3. We decided we would foster and adopt one day on the future (once we have a bigger house) for now we are happy with our family. We also have a ten month old dog and a 6 year old cat.

I think to some extent wanting a baby is a natural biological function of being a woman to make us want babies. But we can be sensible and know we don't really want it! I have 1 baby and already think I don't want any more. More and more families have one child nowadays

That's why we have nieces, nephews, grandchildren, god children, our cousins children, our friends children
We get some baby cuddles, and then we get over our broodiness and move on

I agree. Like others, I finally decided that I wanted another child after a relatively big age gap (5 years in the end) but was dreading the thought of pregnancy, newborn, baby, toddler...

I look at toddler DS some days and count down the days until he's something more like Y2 DD

Tbh though I have found the baby and toddler stage a bit easier than first time around as at least now I know it will end one day, he'll stop wanting to be carried everywhere or throw his food on the floor or poke the cat in the eye or decide to throw himself backwards off the buggy board onto a concrete path so I spend the night before a big presentation at work at A&E getting him checked out for concussion yes that happened last night and I'm still recovering from it and apparently slightly bitter about his timing

If you're going to have another baby, you need to be prepared to have another preschooler, child, teenager etc at some point

I'm happy to propose a job share for those who want to do the shitty bit enjoy the baby days.

Agreed. I love babies. Toddlers/young children not so much.

When he was first born I swore I would not be having any more but now more and more I feel a desire for another baby. I love newborns and the newborn stage with DS was my favourite.

Are you sure you're not being a bit rose-tinted about the newborn stage if you were saying even then that you wouldn't ever have another?!

" I find the constant worry about him so draining."

That strikes me as quite ott tbh.

That said, if you don't want another child, then that's that-it's a pretty long stage!

feelings like this could be why those creepy reborn dolls are so popular

care for a newborn with out the crying and growing up

Your DS is your world and you can’t imagine another child in the family.

That's not why I don't want another one, I just don't want another kid full stop. Too much bloody work!!

Are you sure you're not being a bit rose-tinted about the newborn stage if you were saying even then that you wouldn't ever have another?!

No, he was a fabulous baby. Breastfeeding was easy, he was a champion sleeper, he was happy to go in his cot from day one.

Me not wanting another right from that point was largely due to my horrendous birth experience and the fact that I didn't think my anxiety levels could take it.

That strikes me as quite ott tbh

Yes it is, I'm a very anxious and sensitive person. Just my personality.

I often think thicker skinned types do better with multiple kids.

I'm up for a swap shop, but I'm not paying maintenance ;)