Should I complain or not?

[AllesAusLiebe]

Okay, so I took DS to baby massage yesterday at my local children’s centre. There is a singing session immediately after which we usually stay for but he wasn’t in a great mood so left early.

I left via two automatic doors and after going through the first door, I could smell a strong odour of smoke. Didn’t think anything of it.

When I got through the second door I was greeted by two participants of the massage class with babies in tow, having a smoke before returning for the next class. Directly outside the door.

I feel like I should probably bring this to the attention of someone because how will they ever know it’s an issue if no one says anything, but AIBU?

I’m by no means anti smoking. I smoked for years when I was younger. I just find it objectionable for DS to be inhaling a lung full of the stuff when leaving a family centre.

It’s a lovely centre and the staff are great so I’m wondering whether to mention it next time, or should I just accept that there’s probably nothing anyone can do about it.

What would you do?

Why didn't you say something to the smokers?

If you didn't want to say something, what would you expect the centre workers to do?

I don't understand. Do you mean the people who ran the class were smoking? Or were they smoking indoors?

If they were mums smoking outside then what can you do? They are legally allowed to smoke outdoors aren't they?

I don't like babies being around smoke but ultimately they know the dangers of smoking and are choosing to do it. There are many things you'll do differently to other parents.

Leave it. 2 seconds of passive smoke won’t hurt him. Living in London is the equivalent of smoking a cigarette a day anyway.

Bombardier25966 sorry I should’ve been clearer in my post. I didn’t say anything because I’m not sure whether to ask them to move away from the door, mention it to the centre staff or whether I’m taking it a bit too seriously.

Poodloo again, sorry I rushed writing my OP so didn’t explain well. Yes, they were other mums smoking directly outside the doors. I’m pretty certain they’ll have no smoking signs outside so although perfectly legal, I’m just not sure it should be happening.

I’m not the type who gets heated about other people smoking - that’s entirely their choice. I’m just wondering whether anyone else would mention it.

BuilderEttiquette I see what you mean. At my work, they have no smoking signs in the car park which I find quite anomalous. You can’t smoke, but feel free to knock yourself out with exhaust fumes.

What would your complaint be though? "I walked past some people smoking outside"?

I'm not sure you can complain if it was just visitors to the centre smoking outdoors.

SistersResistingTheCisThing now, this part of my OP was entirely clear, so I’m not sure what there is to misinterpret.

The smoking was taking place immediately outside the entrance. I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that outside the entrance to a children’s centre isn’t an appropriate place to smoke. Like I said, I’m not sure whether to mention it or not.

I thought maybe the staff might actually want to know so before the start of a group they could maybe ask people to do it away from the entrance. Maybe I’m completely wrong, that’s why I’m asking.

If you didn't want to say something, what would you expect the centre workers to do?

There's a massive difference between a member of the public approach specific strangers and the staff sending a general message out asking people not to smoke in the door way, or putting up a no smoking sign.

If you see them again, you could let them know that the smoke is filtering into the centre so please would they mind standing slightly further off to one side. Smile nicely and they should be fine, just be prepared to be ignored or told to mind your own business. I wouldn't bother harassing the staff about it, they have more than enough to do usually.

If you didn't like where they were smoking you could have asked them to move.

punishmepunisher yeah, that’s why I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t want to look like an asshole! 😂 I know there’s probably nothing that anyone can do about it but maybe they could make a point of asking parents not to immediately outside the door, that’s all.

I guess if they’re the type of people who aren’t fazed by blowing smoke into their babies’ face it’s unlikely they’ll pay any attention to that (or to me asking them to shift, for that matter).

Well like people smoking near to hospitals etc it's insensitive and probably a bit thick, but really, it seems OTT to ask the staff to ask them to move when they're in a public space and not somewhere you need to hang around, you're literally walking past.

Agree if you're not happy with it you should speak up yourself though.

I work in a children's centre and would be more than happy to ask smoking visitors to move away from the doors if another visitor asked me to. I'm sure the staff at the centre would do the same for you op. It's not always easy to confront other visitors yourself in situations like this because you will still see them in sessions and don't want ill feeling. Staff will (hopefully) understand this and be empathetic.

I used to work in a children's centre and it was no smoking on the grounds so people needed to leave the gated area (old converted school). Although this is when it was council ran 10+ years ago. I'd ask staff to put signs up asking not to smoke outside the doors. It's horrible walking out of anywhere into a cloud of fag stink.

I would mention it to the staff, asking them if they have no smoking signs by the door, and perhaps they could remind users of that? Something along those lines.

It's not unusual these days to see signs asking people not to smoke directly outside the doors to a building.

I mean it might be worth mentioning? I’m a mature student and at my university library there is a yellow line painted on the ground around 8-10 feet from the door. Smokers cannot smoke inside the line to prevent people entering/exiting getting engulfed in a cloud of smoke. As a smoker I have no issue with this and it’s always obeyed because really it’s no hardship to just stand a little further back from the building but not everyone would think to do so with the line I guess. It’s worth mentioning to the managers of the centre becasue I imagine it would be fairly easy to instate.