People helping just making more work

[justmakemeacuppa]

I’m all for accepting help when and if the offer is there but aibu to wish they’d actually help rather than looking like they’re helping but just making me more work.
2 examples, mum looking after kids. Don’t get me wrong I’m greatful she does as she saves us money (I do make sure she gets VERY good Xmas presents) but she lets them sleep at 4pm so I’m up all bloody night with them.
Another example partner trying to help with washing and drying. Washes things yes, separate colours NO! He’s ruined more clothes and shrunk or discoloured to the point of no return. Then when they come out of the dryer he won’t fold them up reducing the ironing so I’m literally spending my days off ironing creases out of every piece of clothing which before could have just been folded and put away. I like things to look neat and ironed/folded when put away.

YANBU - your partner is doing that on purpose you do know that don't you?

Have you asked your mum to let the kids nap earlier so that it doesn't affect their bedtime?

Yes she knows as she never mentions it. It’s my eldest that tells me and clue of a two year old bouncing round the house at 10/11pm. I just keep saying to myself she’ll be a nursery soon and I won’t need as much help.
The other half actually wants to help but seems he would rather do the washing than sit with a wide awake toddler at bedtime lol
Id do it all if I could split myself in two as I know everything is done the right way then.

I get where you are comming from. Its a total pita but you look like the bad guy when you say anything! My dh does the sane turns the drier on for 2hrs when it only needs 20mins. It ended with me baning him from washing anything of mine! He ruins his own things now. As for letting the kids sleep apart from having it out with your dm (as calmly as possible) i would ask her to have them over night, to give you a break. she might just realise the error of her ways.

Oh so you've asked your mum not to do it and she's still doing it anyway . Yeah, that's deliberate too. You're right, you're nearest and dearest aren't actually making your life easier, they're making it more difficult. Make of that what you will.

I think the mum thing is the price you pay for free childcare annoying but luckily over once they start nursery. The laundry thing is ridiculous though. No excuse to do this repeatedly after the first time.

Bad washing: My husband doesn't do it to annoy me in particular. If his own stuff gets destroyed he just shrugs with a slight note of disappointed surprise. He will wear crumpled or even damaged things and not care. I will point it out if he's about to go to work in them.

We all like doing stuff our own way.

If only you were able to TALK to these people