What do you do with sick kid?

[Blueblueyellow]

This has probably been done to death so apologies in advance.Toddlers friend came to visit at the weekend, friend has a hacking cough and runny snotty. My friend didn't warn me before coming. Now my toddler and baby have colds.Toddler was supposed to be starting play school but is too off form and too sick so no point starting when so sick and with something they haven't done before.Now the problem is, it's toddlers bday in a few days and having little party.Now should I ask my friend not to bring her kid?There will be a few other children and some small babies coming too.This kid is sick with a cough for 2 a few months but parent won't take DC to doctor because "it's just a cold". What do I do? I always tell people if my kids are sick and vice versa but this friend just doesn't get phased by it. Also my DF has cancer and I have to avoid bringing my kids to see him when they are I'll as a cold knocks him for 6, my friend knows this but still brings over sick child.What do I do going forward? I've asked friend if DC is sick and they say yea but just a small cold it's fine.What do I do!

This aggravated me too as my son has asthma so every cold used to result in an overnight stay in hospital. I'd say tell her not to come and say you can't risk your dad catching it as it's not just a cold for him and could result in him not getting treatment not to come. What a selfish woman!

I can't really get too worked up about coughs and colds, but don't get me started on tummy bugs!

This does my head in because I have preemies, people don't think! I always tell people if my kids have germs so that they can make the decision.

I'd tell her not to bring him.

Well since your children are sick shouldn’t you postpone the party anyway?

But surely if your baby and toddler have a cold they will pass it on to the other children coming?

People forget that for some people a cold/cough can be serious. My son is one of the ones who suffered badly as a small child..

Just ask before every meeting: 'Is DC sick? After the last visit we were all sick for over a week and I can't risk that again, especially not with my father being sick'. If they say 'it's just a small cold' then you have to get tough and say 'never mind, let's meet up another time'. You need to get firm.

Then if they turn up sick send them away.

I caught 'just a cold' about 10 days ago. I'm still deaf and ended up on antibiotics as I'm asthmatic and ended up with a chest infection. My baby recovered in 4 days, older DS in about 4days, DH and I both very unwell.

Won't your children pass it on?

YANU to tell the friend not to bring her toddler due to your DF being immuno-compromised.

YABVU to think people generally should shelter your DCs from colds. Life has to carry on even with a cold. People go to school and work with colds. Your DC will get all sorts of bugs at nursery, colds, tummy bugs, chicken pox, etc. It's a pain, but it helps to build a strong immune system.

You really, really should not go to the GP with a cold. What an appalling waste of NHS money and time. The doctor can do nothing whatsoever, but your child may infect someone like your DF in the waiting room, without the immune system to fight it off. Colds are mild, self-limiting viruses, completely untreatable with antibiotics. Symptoms can be relieved with over the counter meds from the pharmacy.

Pernickity1 yea I will have to cancel if they are still sick, it's on Sunday so if not better by Friday I'll have to postpone it.But friends DC is constantly sick so I'm assuming they will be sick for the party.

ChoccyBiccyTastic I have 2 DC I know they get colds and life goes on.If my DC had a hacking cough and were sick for 2 plus months I think a trip to the gp to rule out anything else should be considered.

Merryol yea you are right I just need to get a bit tougher.I love this friend her and her DC and love seeing them but it's at a cost now of not being able to visit my Df, not bringing my toddler to playschool for the first time and probably cancelling bday plans.

bobstersmumI don't usually get worked up about colds, 2 young DC so we have had loads of them, at the same time I always let friends know if one of us has a cold and vice versa. Then we can decide ourselfs if we still want to meet up with the DC. I just didn't how to handle the situation going forward but merry gave some good advice.

YANU to tell the friend not to bring her toddler due to your DF being immuno-compromised.

This ^ If you don't want to single her out, text everyone invited to the party and explain that your children are currently ill and if they're still unwell on Friday, you'll be cancelling the party.

Then explain why - that family members are immuno-compromised and you can't risk their health. So, if anyone else is ill, even with a cold/cough, please stay at home!

I agree with your assessment, btw, I'd also be concerned if my toddler was ill with a cold/cough for two months!

I remember DD (then 3) having a bad cold for three weeks and I took her in. Turned out she did need antibiotics as it was moving onto her chest (potential pneumonia).
Anything that doesn't improve in two weeks is a red flag for me.

You really, really should not go to the GP with a cold. What an appalling waste of NHS money and time.

You have no idea about different people's circumstances. I went to the doctor on Friday with my cold for an unrelated matter. The doctor heard my cough which I was not there to discuss, listened to my chest and promptly told me off and gave me antibiotics.

I've been ill for nearly two weeks now and literally cannot hear out of one year. I didn't go because it was 'just a cold'.

If I child has had a cold for 2+ months of course it's not unreasonable to go to the doctor.

Let the doctor tell people when it's a waste of time instead of all of the policing that goes on here.

The thing is, when kids are toddlers they seem to get colds all the time. It builds up their immune system. Fine if you don't want to see your friend and it is annoying when they catch colds, but you can't isolate your own kids from colds.

TabbyMumz please rtt, I'm not trying to keep my kids from colds but if I can avoid exposing them with direct contact I will, due to my Df being immuno compromised with cancer.

I hate it when people bring their ill kids over and spread the germs. It's so selfish especially around babies and elderly people.

And also disgusting, nobody wants to see your toddler with green snot trails down their face! I particularly loathe people who don't wipe their kids faces, leaving the toddler to wipe it off on my cushions! Or they have crusty dried snot all over their face 🤢

@OneStepSideways my toddler won't let me clean his face
It irritates him because he's also a kid with a near permanent cold.
I have taken him to the Drs and they say it's normal

Bumblebee39 my preschooler hates having her face cleaned or nose wiped (always has), the only way I can do it is from behind, pinning her arms with my free arm!
I do keep it clean though or her skin gets sore, or she wipes it on me/her sleeves and smears it across her face. I see it as one of those difficult but non negotiable tasks like brushing teeth/hair.

@OneStepSideways

I do try I just don't always succeed!
Unfortunately everything is a battle at the moment so I have to pick them
I spend all day trying to wipe the remnants of toothpaste from morning toothbrush battle as well as snotty nose
And yet within 30 seconds there's a new load of snot

Kids, who'd have 'em! Gross little things

Don't get me started on the nappy changes

No wonder I get through a packet of baby wipes a day