AIBU to think hardly anyone ever actually loses a lot of weight for good ? Please post here is you can prove me wrong!

[Smallhorse]

I have followed literally hundreds of weight loss threads on mumsnet in the last 20 years.

They all start the same way

“ I need to lose 3 stone - who is with me ? “

There then follows a lot of people joining in, lots of day to day posts about “ what I ate today “ and lots of encouraging chat in general.

People post their weight losses . Then their gains. Followed by encouraging messages to keep going.

Then people drop off the thread one by one.

I am not knocking these threads but they don’t seem to be helping .

Has anyone lost say , 3 stones of more and kept it off?

If so could you please post here and encourage me and my fellow fatties?

Thank you 😊

I have lost 3 stone and kept it off for 7 years now. However, I need to lose over a stone more and for the life of me cannot. I get down to a certain weight (10lb or so lighter than I am now) and then go back up and down. It's infuriating but I am glad I have always kept the bulk off. This is mainly because exercise is a big part of my life now and I walk double as much.

Lost 8 stone 3 years ago with keto. Have kept it off.

‘I think it’s something like 90% of people gain back weight lost within a couple of years.’

It’s 95%. And I think a lot of them end up heavier than before they started dieting.

I do think dieting can potentially mess up people’s metabolism, especially when they regularly do very drastic diets. So many people on the dieting threads talk about how they are starving and are annoyed at themselves for eating. Obsessing over food and the slightest gain in weight. It can’t be good for you, mentally or physically.

I don’t know what the answer is to long term weight loss. All I know is that health is about much more than just what scales say.

@Wrongdissection

Can I ask those who have lost lots of weight and kept it off, do you have loose skin

Really good question. Honest answer for me is yes! I have some loose skin on my tummy. It's not noticable in clothes though and looks very similar to a 'mummy tummy'. I'm still confident enough to strut round the house naked. (Curtains shut )

I'm really proud of my bod, loose skin or not, I'm healthy and fit and I focus on that - please don't be put off being healthier for that fear.

PS even magazine models are airbrushed! We have REAL bodies. :)

Wrongdissection

Ok, I haven't 'kept it off' yet (I have lost 4st, need to lose another 3, but stalled for 2 months whilst having my wedding and honeymoon - very pleased to have maintained through good, ingrained habits and lots of activity and better choices though!), but here's how it's been:

1st stone - looking more trim! No loose skin, skin in general looking better.
2nd stone - hooray! Now noticeably different, skin still good.
3rd stone - hmm. That arm is both thinner and wobblier.
4th stone - actually beginning to tone up again. Been doing lots of weight exercises, so everything has pulled more into shape.

My weight loss is heavily focused around exercise though - my dietary changes have been relatively small, and I've had to start eating more to keep the weight loss up.

I lost 4 stones with Slimming World 4 years ago (just celebrated 4 years a couple of weeks ago).

I had been overweight since I was a teen prior to that & had tried most diets going. I still go to group every week and if I am out of my range, I will be extra good the week after. If you stick to it, it works.

I did once lose weight, a couple of stone, took more than a year. Over the next several years it crept back.

Google tells me that 95% of dieters regain weight.

I'm currently doing an on-line course on happiness, and one of the facts is in general people do not become happier as are result of trying to lose weight, and in fact the people who succeed are less happy than they were before, whereas those who fail experience no change in happiness. (Yes, succeeding at weight loss is a worse outcome with regard to happiness than failure!)

I lost 3 stone last year and have now kept it off for 6 months. I know that's not quite the maintaining you were thinking of, but it's a start! It required a radical change of lifestyle and daily exercise. I reckon provided I keep up the exercise, I should hopefully maintain the weightloss but I genuinely believe that I will need to continue to count calories and 'diet' alongside this forever to maintain it. In a way it's harder now because my body fat percentage is low (17%) so when I exercise hard and restrict calories it can all feel like rather a lot of hard work, plus everyone says 'well you're thin now, you don't need to diet'.

Currently I am so happy to finally be 'thin' that it's worth it- maybe I'll get bored of it some day and will regain weight, but I hope not!

I lost 3 and a half stone about 13 years ago and kept it off until I moved job two years ago - I went from having a daily 40 minute walk to driving to work and in the two years it's all come back on which is heartbreaking. I try to get to the gym but I really do think it's the everyday exercise and movement that kept the weight off.

Encouragingly though, I've lost 13lbs since Christmas doing Dry January. Another two stone to go - I hope to have it gone by the summer.

Thank you to those who’ve answered re loose skin. I suppose it is what it is. I just have to crack on.

Unhappy nobody said that it’s easy. To me changing my eating habits and for my body to adjust was as difficult as stopping smoking.

I lost about 3 1/2 stone in my early 20s. Kept it off despite 2 pregnancies. (I’m in my late 30s now).

In the past couple of years I’ve tried to move away from the diet mentality that I had in the head. I would previously think of foods as “good” or “bad”, I would restrict my eating before social events or try to “make up” for overeating by eating very little the following day.

I now just try to eat in a way that nourishes my body and I try to be much more relaxed about food. I don’t weigh myself now but still fit in my size 10-12 clothes.

I’ve also discovered a love of exercise in the last few years which means I want to eat well to fuel my workouts. Totally different from my mindset before which was that exercise was only a means to burning calories.

Moving away from dieting has been incredibly freeing for me.

I lost about 20 pounds a few years ago, gained most of it back gradually and am now in the process of losing it again. I have to actually count the calories because if I don't I'll snack, have deserts, etc. Counting them keeps me honest.

I also ramp up the exercise, which for me is walking. I've run most of my life but that gave me a torn ligament, so I'm now walking 4-5 miles a day while I do physical therapy. I really like the Loseit! app for calorie and activity tracking and I got an Apple watch series 4, which is also great for activity tracking and staying motivated.

I've lost 12 pounds in the last 6 weeks and feel like I know what I'm doing now to keep it off.

Congratulations to everyone. It's great to hear the success stories.

I lost 5 stone with ww and have kept it off for 18 years this year.

I lost almost four stone in my late twenties and have stayed roughly the same weight for the last 30 years by not going on 'diets' but by eating healthily most of the time.

I've gone from a size 24 to a size 12 (basically lost half my body weight).

I regained about 15kgs about 3 years ago when I became quite depressed; mainly due to the excess skin I was left with which made me feel even worse about myself. I really wondered why I'd bothered (I'd be around 10-12kgs lighter if I could have it removed).

I'm already losing that 15kgs again (still have 10kgs to lose atm), but I've otherwise kept the weight off for just over 11 years now.

Personally, I've really struggled with the psycological after effects of the weight loss though.

I feel that I look worse than I did at my heaviest (think deflated balloon) and it's really stopped me doing a lot of things as I'm so self conscious. It also causes issues with getting sore, especially in summer.

I definitely look better in clothes as it is easier to hide the excess skin, but I still feel fat.
I think that's the hardest thing to change actually: the perception that you have of yourself. I still see a fat person.

I agree with others that you have to completely change the way you think/ behave around food. I'm very much an emotional eater, so I still have to be aware of that. My tastes have changed though; I used to have a very sweet tooth, but I'm not fussed by sugary stuff anymore. Still struggle with crisps though!

I kinda follow the rules from Paul McKenna, but with my own twists, so nothing is banned, but I try to eat mindful and stop as soon as I'm full.

One of my biggest challenges was to not eat everything on my plate 'just because it's there'.
I used a combination of smaller plates, putting less of the calorie dense food on my plate (but more veg), and training myself to just leave some food on the plate.

I lost 2.5 stone in 2015 (which is a lot when I’m only 5’4) and have kept the majority off. I tend to fluctuate within half a stone

I lost 5 stone in 2000. I've kept it off, been hard to keep it off but all the same I've done it!! It's harder to keep off than to loose in my opinion!!

I lost 5 stone in 1.5 years doing a no sugar, low carb, high fat diet. I still stick to it now, have a few cheat days etc.

I am not as strict as I was but still exercise and the weight stays off.

It is easier that now I have no sugar, whenever I eat anything sweet now, it sets my teeth on edge and I have to brush them immediately after eating sweet. I used to love all chocolate bars, but now they do not taste good.

I think it requires a permanent change as our bodies are designed to retain as much weight as it can. Also I read that your body is ALWAYS trying to get back to the heaviest you have ever been as it sees that as your optimal weight.

I lost 3 stone back in the early 1980s. I was always a dumpy child/teenager and was in my late 20s when I lost the weight. 3 DC and 35 years later I am still the weight I was then. I do put on the odd 7 lbs but make sure it's never more than that. The menopause was difficult at first but a swap to 5:2 and then 6:1 sorted that. So it can be done but you need a reason - I love clothes, I am a bit sporty and I am watching my MIL who was always overweight struggle with arthritis and now very limited mobility - that's a huge motivator for me

Loose skin doesn't affect everyone. You'd be surprised. Many people say even if they have it it's a million times better than the weight. I've had some skin removal surgery. It's expensive and painful but life-changing. Look up either Fatgirlfedup or KeepingFitWithJessica on Instagram for their surgery stories. But loose skin is something we should be talking about. I wish I'd had much more help with my weight at an early stage of gaining so I could have avoided my surgeries. My body is damaged forever by obesity. But honestly the joy outweighs the difficulties

I’ve kept three stones off for almost four years now. I lost it with Slimming world originally but I’ve not followed it for nearly three years and I’ve kept it off myself.

I don’t have a big appetite and I’m lucky that way. I also run 15-20 miles a week which has helped too.

I know 3 friends who lost over 4 stone each and have kept it off.

As of Monday I have lost 3 stone and 8 lbs and wearing a size 12. I’d like to lose another stone and then I’ll maintain

I'm currently doing an on-line course on happiness, and one of the facts is in general people do not become happier as are result of trying to lose weight, and in fact the people who succeed are less happy than they were before, whereas those who fail experience no change in happiness. (Yes, succeeding at weight loss is a worse outcome with regard to happiness than failure!)

Except there are lots of us all over Instagram saying the opposite. I definitely don't think it's the answer for everyone. You still need to address other things in your life. Not everything is about weight.

But the joy weight loss has brought me - I can't even begin to describe it. My life has changed completely. And it feels brilliant just having the health which comes from a really healthy diet. If I was starving and living off Ryvita I might be less happy.