Re my sister and her dd?

[amibeingacunexttuesday]

My sister lives a very short 10 minute walk from me and visits multiple times per week, I also occasionally babysit for her, but recently I'm starting to get really fed up of how she parents her 18 month old dd. For example her dd will rifle through all my kitchen cupboards and take everything out and throw it all over the floor, she will pull all the toys out of the toy box and leave a massive mess that my sister just walks away and leaves, she throws food all over the floor that my sister doesn't clean up, she changes her dirty nappies on my sofa, recently dn pulled all my photo frames off my stand and wasn't told off, my sister just seems to laugh at her, dn will also snatch mobile phones and drinks out of your hand and throw them and I can't use my laptop when she's around as she constantly tries to pull the screen back . I know this is normal toddler behaviour but it's my sisters reaction to it that is getting to me, she just doesn't care. Dsis and neice come round for dinner a couple of times a week and my sister will let her watch tv programmes on her phone at full blast at the dinner table, we went out for a birthday meal the other day and she was allowing her to listen to baby shark at full volume at the table and I was mortified. Am I being really intolerant? I feel awful as I'm starting to dread them coming round as I have to spend half an hour cleaning up every time after they've gone 😞

Yanbu! It definitely is poor parenting. Ky ds at that age wouldnt behave like that.
You need to say something. If she gets upset then tough. She will soon find out that not many people will tolerate it.

When I was a student I had a friend like this whose attitude was “Oh it’s a rental place, not your carpet, doesn’t matter”. Needless to say we are no longer friends.

Meet outside of your home until your niece is older OP.

You don't have to stand back and watch. You need to step in, gently but firmly, and tell your niece not to do these things. Distract her where you can. Try to get her to look at or do something else. Think about your teachers at school and try to sound like them.

Suggest you go to your sis house instead and then you get to walk away from the mess

Yes, go to your sister’s house. Good idea!

I would make house rules for the little one
Sorry, no screens at the table in my house
Sorry, no throwing in my house
I'd be reminding your sister before she left, she still had a mess to clean

I second getting child locks for kitchen cupboards, you can get them in argos or lots of different places that sell baby stuff. And when your sis comes over tell her the WiFi isn't working. Good luck, it's crap isn't it having to clean up after someone else's kid.

I'd meet them elsewhere as often as possible whilst still explaining that the mess and noise isn't happening anymore. Is her own house a shit tip or does she just let her child trash other peoples houses?

No she doesn't get away with making as much mess in her own house!

No shoes or food allowed on her carpets etc

Then simply don't have it and point this out

then why do you allow it at your house?

Is this a long time situation with your sister?

Could you say to her, this is my house we don't do that here. And be really firm with her and maybe redirect her attention to something else. Even see if she will help you tidy up. If that doesn't work I think you're going to have to talk to your sister

You need to change the plans to you visiting them.
Or get a cheap high chair and a baby gate to confine dn.
Or a hat and gloves and shove her in the garden.
Your dsis is a piss taker.