To hate people who assume you’re always free?

[zuuk]

Both old friend and I are busy people, but admittedly I am busier and work longer hours. I book my weekends up with work and seeing friends and family etc, about 8 weeks ahead of time. Unless I’m told of something beforehand.

We agreed about a month back to go for dinner and she could stay at my house as we live an hour apart. She was due to come last weekend but asked could she do this one instead. Not a problem, I swapped dm coming to visit from this weekend coming to last weekend.

Now friend messaged to say that actually they have a job interview wednesday that they need to prepare for. Fair enough! Yet last weekend when they were meant to do this, she ended up going out for a curry and a party with another friend.
Now today she’s said how stressed she is for the interview, but has managed to book a complete holiday.

She then was like alright, what other weekends soon are you free?

I honestly do not have another weekend free until April.

She does this often, and assumes I can do things at the drop of a hat with her, but only if it suits her.

Honestly it does my head in when people keep their lives so hectic that you don't get to see them for months on end. Don't you ever relax?

Your friend should stick to her plans with you though. Needing to prepare for a job interview is a crap excuse.

Just be honest with her. She sounds like a flake.

I would use this to make a point. You’re not just waiting around for her.

Seems an odd reason to hatesomeone. Hate is a very strong word. Particularly for someone you say is a friend.

Sometimes things come up - at which point, it is okay to have a conversation to say - sorry I know we've got this in the diary, but would it be okay with you if we swap for the other weekend? then you can say it is, or that you can't make the change, as is the case.
Yes, it is annoying that, after you have changed, she then bailed on you to 'prepare for ajob interview'. I don't know if that is reasonable or not. If she'd not have that much notice and needed to prepare a presentation, then she might have needed the time (and not konw at the time of the original swap). If there isn't a presentation, then it sounds a bit flakey. We don't know which it is.

However, if it is a good friend, then I'd accept that life sometimes gets in the way. If it annoys you this much, then maybe she isn't as important to you as you thought she was.

Have you considered that you being constantly booked up, and having to schedule things in 3 months in advance, leaving no room for a bit of spontaneity, might be annoying to other people ?

Yanbu.

I honestly do not have another weekend free until April

Then this is what you tell her, and your plans will have to be from then. It's the only way she will learn.

Do you live a long way away from each other that it’s a weekend commitment? If so going for a curry for dinner isn’t the same as not being able to do a weekend away. The same as booking a holiday doesn’t take a weekend to do.

Does this work both ways? You you go stay with her often?

Not trying to be argumentative just trying to fill in the facts

It is horrid when someone cancels and you are looking forward to it. It’s also horrid to be the one who has to cancel for personal reasons

You only live an hour apart, meet up.for a drink or a meal and forget this "all weekend thing", you don't have spare weekends & it sounds too much for her too. If a hours too much then meet halfway, 1/2hour drive is nothing.

It'd quietly frustrate me she'd cancelled twice as you'd moved plans and that was only free one left you had, but your solution is above. "Can't do another weekend until after April as none free til then, but we can meet up for quick coffee/ drink on Thurs/Fri, how about we meet halfway?"