About drugs

[EMB12]

Hey, this is my first post on here but I’m in desperate need of some honnest unbiased advise.. I’ll try and make it as short as possible..

So I have been with my partner for 8 years now, we met when we we’re 21 and 9 months later I fell pregnant with our first daughter (now 6) we then quite quickly moved in together and then after a couple of years had our second daughter (now 2) .

My partenr experienced his first stag do this summer in Ibiza and as expected he took drugs while he was out there with his friends( him or his friends never use to be users). When he got back he started getting in the habit of taking coke down the pub and when he was around certain friends houses.. I am VERY anti drugs and he has know this from day one. anyway he started to lie to me about talking drugs untill one day when I caught him out.. he promised me he would never do it again and that our relationship meant more to him than drugs.. a couple of months later he went out and I found him in our daughters bed with a nose covered in cocaine (our daughter had crept into bed with me in the night and he didn’t want to disturb her so he slep in her bed) when he woke I asked him if he had taken drugs and he said no.. when I asked him what the powder round his nose was he finally admitted what he had done .. it all blew up again and he said he would not do it etc etc and I felt like he meant it more this time because of the situation i found him in. He proposed to me a few months ago and we have been trying to work things through but now we are getting married all
of his friend that are into drugs want to take him to Ibiza.. I have said to him that it’s either me or taking drugs every now and again.. we keep arguing about it and going round in circles, he’s making me feel bad for ‘holding him back’ and ‘not having fun and being able to re live the liege he would have had if we haven’t have had children so young’ I don’t want to hold him back and I want him to be able to enjoy his life but he seems to think he can’t do this without drugs anymore ... I’m at Whitt’s end.. I don’t know what to do.. should I let him take them every now and again and get over my issue with drugs or should I stick to my gut and say no.. it’s me and our kids that has to face his comedowns and all I think about is if something happened to him what would I tell our 2 girls?! he thinks I’m over reacting, What do you think?

X

For me illegal drugs are a hard no. I lost a friend at the age of 21 to drugs and from that day I never took another. I was the same as your dp, having a good time with friends and having a couple of lines, drop a few pills - harmless fun, right?! Wrong. My friend had a bad batch, he started fitting, throthing from the mouth, choking on his own vomit, eyes rolling all over. That was the scariest night of my life and I'm now not prepared to put myself in that situation again, I cut contact with my 'friends' and left the area. Drugs can be 'fun' and a 'harmless laugh' with friends, they can also destroy your life and those around you. You need to decide where you stand, you're either for by standing by or against by saying good bye. That simple in my book.

Yanbu at all to spell out what behaviour you explicitly will not accept in a relationship. More importantly, you are absolutely entitled to expect to have an adult conversation about them, not to have the other party sulking about how you've wrecked his life because you don't want him to do coke.

His comments about wanting to enjoy himself are childish in the extreme. He is as responsible for the fact that he had children young as you are and anyway now he has them and children and drugs just do not mix.

Coke addicts are total arseholes and it's very expensive. Quite dangerous can be cut with anything. It sounds like he's getting addicted and being stupid about it too.