(Essay alert)
AIBU
It’s my husbands 30th in April and I wanted to make it really special and memorable for him. He’s not a big party kind of person so quickly discounted that idea. We live around 1.5hrs away from his family and his friends are spread around all over the UK and Europe.
It happens to be one of his best friends 30th on the same day, and although they live on separate sides of the the country I thought that getting all of their friends together for a weekend away in a big house would be a great way for everyone to get together and celebrate (they normally see each other as a group once or twice a year.) As it was a joint birthday (and would take place somewhere quite remote to accommodate a large group of friends) me and the parter of the friend decided to not invite family and have separate family birthday meals/parties etc for the boys the weekend after.
Since then I have organised a group of 15 friends, found a place for us all to stay, organised the finances, food etc. And now I’m beginning to think about the family meal for the weekend after. However this is where family members have asked “are we invited” to the friend thing, and I feel my my husbands brother is particularly hurt he isn’t coming to the friend party. I now feel awful - Since we decided to specifically make it friends thing and have the family one the weekend after.
I don’t know what to do. I thought organising a big friend getaway and then a separate more intimate family meal on the subsequent weekend would have been best and gives my husband the best of both worlds but now I feel I’m just pissing everyone off. AIBU?