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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH keeps food past it’s sell by and I want to kill him

290 replies

BellaFreckle1 · 28/01/2019 15:58

Ok so this is a really random subject but I need to know if anyone else is in the same boat as me ...

My OH is a nightmare for keeping food past it’s sell by date and claims it’s only a guideline. It’s starting to really upset me because imo he’s risking food poisoning and sickness. He also leaves cooked food on the kitchen worktop overnight and uncovered then freezes or refrigerates it the next day. I made Mac and cheese a couple nights ago and left the remains in the oven dish on the worktop and asked him to refrigerate it for the following days lunch. I got up in the morning to find it still sitting on the counter so I asked him to throw it in the bin and when I got home from work I found it in the freezer!!!

I know this is probably so trivial but it’s really upsetting me and I’m concerned that one of us is going to become really ill.

I accidentally threw out cheese that was within the sell by date and he almost started crying - honestly his eyes glazed over and he was so mad.

Any advice would be great - I need to nip this on the bud before one of us ends up sick!!

OP posts:
jammf · 28/01/2019 17:56

It depends if you're talking about 'use by' or 'best before' dates. There's a big difference that lots if people don't seem to be aware of.
I've not seen 'sell by' dates on anything for a long time.

Limensoda · 28/01/2019 17:56

Sell by dates and best before dates don't mean you have to throw away by that date.
How the hell do you think we managed before they put that on packaging?
Smell it....look at it...

RightOh · 28/01/2019 17:59

@sueelleker

That green tinge is nitrate, a preservative. Doesn't have anything to do with the meat being off, you're throwing out perfectly good bacon.

Unless you avoid red meat and sodium nitrate.

witherwings · 28/01/2019 18:00

YABU, sell by dates are dates that the supermarket can have it on the shelf for.
Use by dates and best before dates are guidelines. I routinely leave food out overnight as I leave it to cool and forget it. Most of the time I would eat it anyway and have never had food poisoning from it.

CiderBrains · 28/01/2019 18:06

Foodborne pathogens could make you ill even though you think the food is perfectly ok to eat.

Drogosnextwife · 28/01/2019 18:07

You are aware you don't need to eat the food thatthat's past it's use by right?

Original poster
BellaFreckle1 · 28/01/2019 18:11

ChesterGreySideboard - I posted for some advice, not to be corrected over my use of the English language. Macaroni cheese/ Mac and Cheese, it’s the same thing.

Having been reading about food poisoning and bacteria’s that can grow at room temperature and can’t be seen or smelled, I had wondered what anyone else’s thoughts were.

My DH leaves food out overnight all the time and eats it, the issue for me was that he expected me to eat the food after it had been left out overnight and uncovered.

Anyway - no big deal, only looking for other people’s thoughts on it. I appreciate everyone’s replies, even the not so friendly ones.

Have a good night ladies Smile

OP posts:
3WildOnes · 28/01/2019 18:13

I’m with you OH. I leave cooked food out overnight and reheat the next day. I only throw things away if they look/smell bad.

Birdsgottafly · 28/01/2019 18:26

My Mother had the same opinion as your DH and as a result I was often ill with D&V. I ended up with a very limited diet, through fear.

She wouldn't be told that it was the food, because her and my Sister had a cast iron stomach.

As long as its only him that's eating it, leave him to it.

My house isn't heated, so I will eat things that have been left out, such as Vegan curries (without rice).

As for the likes of hard cheeses, it depends on how they are made. It's the preservatives etc that go off.

I hate being ill, it's such a waste of time.

TheFifthKey · 28/01/2019 18:32

By the way that pasta story was from 2007!

That’s right, it’s so dangerous a story from 12 years ago makes the news...hmm...

Belenus · 28/01/2019 18:32

People saying it's ok. Click that link.

No, thanks. I have a feeling it's to the DM and no way am I clicking on their site. As has been pointed out, there is a huge difference between someone with an underlying health condition eating 5 day old pasta, and someone reasonably healthy eating something that's been out in a cool kitchen for 12 hours.

CiderBrains · 28/01/2019 18:45

"Having been reading about food poisoning and bacteria’s that can grow at room temperature and can’t be seen or smelled, I had wondered what anyone else’s thoughts were."

The danger zone for bacteria is 5 - 63 degrees. So the closer to the middle of that zone (body temperature), bacteria will multiply the most. Not all pathogens are detectable by eye/nose/smell and that's usually how people get very ill because they thought the food they were eating was safe to eat.

Biologifemini · 28/01/2019 18:58

Unless it is fish I keep most things past their use by date. You can make an educated guess based on the smell.
There is way too much unnecessary food wastage.
Am article in the daily mail doesn’t change that.

Namechangearoo · 28/01/2019 19:23

Here in Norway a lot of packets say “best before xx.xx.xxxx” and then underneath “ofte god etter” (often good after then). I’m with your DH.

EthelHornsby · 28/01/2019 19:57

Sell by date is for the vendor, best before means they cannot guarantee it is at its best after that. Neither of them have much bearing on whether it is safe to eat. Sounds like you waste a lot of perfectly good food, and should learn to look at the condition of the food not the sell by date. I’m with your husband on this. I wouldn’t have frozen the mac and cheese, but would probably have eaten it if it didn’t have any meat in it

PickAChew · 28/01/2019 20:08

Don't know if this has been mentioned but eating pasta that had been left out was fatal for this guy. The toxins that caused his liver to fail are not destroyed by heat.

metro.co.uk/2019/01/28/student-died-eating-pasta-left-worktop-five-days-8401285/

fiydwi · 28/01/2019 20:26

Oh my!
This thread is right up my street! I don’t give too much thought to dates either.

DH on the other hand....

It says to use mayo within 4/6 weeks. He will throw a whole bottle out after 6 weeks wtf!!

I’ll happily reheat rice and eat leftover days later. He throws it. Drives me fecking mental

Belenus · 28/01/2019 20:32

Don't know if this has been mentioned but eating pasta that had been left out was fatal for this guy. The toxins that caused his liver to fail are not destroyed by heat.

Several times, the last about 6 posts up from yours.

LoniceraJaponica · 28/01/2019 20:35

I think you are being unreasonable re the rice fiydwy Hmm

Roussette · 28/01/2019 22:18

I can't believe the chucking out on here! Things like salad dressings, mayo, tomato sauce, jars I keep in the fridge with sundried tomatoes, pesto, thai curry paste, jam... do people honestly check dates and check them out???

If there's a layer of mould on it, out they go. Apart from that, not.

PickAChew · 29/01/2019 08:36

Several times, the last about 6 posts up from yours.

I shall consider myself soundly ticked off for not wading through all 160 posts, then.

sugarbum · 29/01/2019 08:48

My OH is a nightmare for keeping food past it’s sell by date and claims it’s only a guideline.
It is only a guideline.

He also leaves cooked food on the kitchen worktop overnight and uncovered then freezes or refrigerates it the next day.
Nope I wouldn't be happy with that if there was meat in it. But mac and cheese for one night at room temp I'd probably be ok. I would not be putting it in the freezer for another time though.

I accidentally threw out cheese that was within the sell by date and he almost started crying - honestly his eyes glazed over and he was so mad.
Bit of an overreaction on his part, but I get cross with DH for throwing away perfectly good food because of a 'sell by date'. He doesn't check it. He just sees a date and thinks it can't be eaten. Its ridiculous. Again, this doesn't apply to meat.

I understand what you're saying though. Like a lot of mn posts, the subject matter is a bit of a red herring.
Whilst I think you're BU about sell by dates, what you're really upset about it his lack of action. You asked him to do something. As far as you were concerned you'd done bloody everything that day, and all you asked him to do was put a dish in the fridge and he couldn't even manage that. He isn't pulling his weight. That's the problem.

Halloumimuffin · 29/01/2019 09:05

I'm a microbiologist and you'd probably be horrified at some of my food practices!

Your husband should be less lazy about putting food away, because even though something like mac n cheese is fine, some things won't be. You should relax about best before dates, as food is edible several days, sometimes even a week after that.

Halloumimuffin · 29/01/2019 09:08

Oh and there is nothing inherently dangerous about the process of reheating rice. You should not eat rice that has been left at room temperature.

Adversecamber22 · 29/01/2019 09:14

I don’t like the thought of out of date meat but I’m a sniff and use common sense cook. I do refrigerate food but I will make a veg soup in the slow cooker and just leave it in that for a couple of days.

I was a bit concerned about some mince pies DH ate as they had fallen behind the larder draw. They were knocking on a year out of date and were open. To prove a point he ate them and was fine but they were horribly stale.