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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To smack DH upside the head?

44 replies

TheLostTargaryen · 28/01/2019 11:37

Of course there will be no violence but I honestly want to smack some sense into him. He's almost 40, works full time and we have three children. He is a fully capable adult (albeit a non-cooking one) and yet he simply cannot grasp the fact that emails may actually be scams. Just this morning he was telling me we need to look at our old (and never used) credit card account because apparently we owe money on it. He got an email saying so.
I told him I know there's no activity on the card and the email is spam.

"But it's from BARCLAYCARD! We have BARCLAYCARD!!!" He says.

No DH. No it isn't. It may say Barclaycard on the email address but if he were to just fucking click the sender name (which I tell him every single fucking time he does this!) he'd see it was sent from a bunch of random letters and numbers and a damn gmail account or something! The emails don't even say his name, just a Dear Client/customer/email address.
He does the same with Apple emails too.

One day he'll be paying off a surprise tax bill by buying iTunes vouchers from Tesco one day right? Maybe we'll own a bridge in San Francisco too.

OP posts:
Lycanthropology · 28/01/2019 17:41

No government body needs £500-£1500 in Ringtones and Michael Buble albums 😂

I’m disappointed that despite being on the receiving end of probably every other scam in the history of ever, I never got one about helping a lonely cosmonaut stuck up on Mir. I’d’ve been tempted to pay something to show my appreciation of the creativity of that one!

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer · 28/01/2019 18:06

I still think my favourite ever scam was the one where a scammer was scammed into writing out the entire second Harry Potter book by hand Grin

GummyGoddess · 29/01/2019 11:26

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius they haven't just lost their pension, that's an unauthorised transaction and they have to pay a fine as well!

ReaganSomerset · 29/01/2019 11:30

Don't barclays have 'digital eagles' or something in branch to teach vulnerable/computer illiterate/gullible people about this kind of thing? Could you book him an appointment?

Bluntness100 · 29/01/2019 11:34

Yup, my husband is like this.

This very morning he answered the phone, it was the bt scam one, I sat and watched his face get all worried, so I said who is it. He didn't respond, but got more upset looking, he then hands be the phone and says can you manage this, they are going to cut our Wi-fi off. Ffs.

A few weeks ago he came running in saying he just got an email about how they got his passwords and they knew he had been watching porn and were going to tell everyone, I said it's a scam, and he responsed with , but they have my password, Id love them to tell people I watch porn, how funny would that be, but they have my password!

Eh no they don't,Hmm

Hoppinggreen · 29/01/2019 12:05

bluntness actually they DO have some passwords, usually an old one from an e commerce site they’ve hacked. They start with saying they know the password is xyz, which gives them credibility.
Me and DH have both had them but he’s in IT with incredibly tight security. He checked all the devices and said it was bull.

Bluntness100 · 29/01/2019 12:08

Well unless they are being very patient, it's bull here too, they don't have his passwords. 🤣

InSightMars · 29/01/2019 12:25

Coworker started ranting at one fake Microsoft “tech” “What? I’ve got a virus again? That’s the third time this week. It’s unacceptable, no, really that’s it, this laptop is going in the trash and I’m buying a MacBook!”
He hung up on her. Rude.

sleeplessinsomewhereelse · 29/01/2019 12:30

The porn scan one was from a username I had on here.

Luckily after Jeffgate I made a fake gmail account specifically for Mumsnet.

Purplehammer · 29/01/2019 13:16

Be wary if you get a letter by post from Mr Udong Pong in Hong Kong.
Apparently he knows of a relative there who has left you a very large amount of money.
He points out “I am honest man,I am family man”
Very convincing.

sleeplessinsomewhereelse · 29/01/2019 14:35

@Purplehammer well he's part of my family so I can vouch for him Smile

Hoppinggreen · 29/01/2019 14:42

Our surname is German so when we get emails saying that our long lost relative Mohamed,/Karim (other very obvious Eastern names) oursurname hs died and left us money it doesn’t ring a few alarm bells
Obviously I know that the ethnicity of first name and surname don't have to match exactly but when the letter is from Mohammed Bin Ahmed veryobviouslyGerman it always makes me giggle

Meangirls36 · 29/01/2019 15:19

Spam folder sorts out mine has he got gmail? That'll do it automatically. Tell him to have things checked three ways email, phone and mail then do something about it.

Graphista · 29/01/2019 16:24

Sadly there are far too many very gullible people in the world. BUT remember also that con artists and scammers can be VERY convincing.

I have a branch of my family who are very successful gamblers and con artists.

It's incredibly easy to do these days via email too. I remember reading on a thread once someone said "but why? Surely most people know it's a scam and don't fall for it" but it IS worth the scam artists doing it because I think it's something like 30% of targets will respond.

Now that could be 30% of 10,000 emails! That's 3000 respondents, even if they only "make" £100 out of each one that's £300k!! In a day!

Show him

www.barclays.co.uk/help/security-fraud/email-details/

m.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJ6irUDmHI

Frankly if I were you I'd be BOMBARDING him with links like the above.

My mum once I took her phone off her and hung up, she was sat in a cafe loudly telling her bloody security answers for anyone to hear!! She thought I was overreacting and then I reminded her - "would you be speaking them in front of uncle X (con man)" and she went 😱 of course not! I said well you don't know there's nobody in the cafe just like him! Honestly she should know better.

My ex when I first met him used to think I was paranoid that I wouldn't leave tradesmen alone when they were doing repairs and always put purses, bank cards and even bank statements well out of their sight.

Then I got him watching things like rogue traders and watchdog. There was one where it was a "sting" an actress as a little old lady needing a plumbing issue fixed. All it needed was a new washer. The plumber fixed the washer in about 2 minutes and then PRETENDED to be still working by lying under the sink occasionally tapping the pipes so he made out it was I think about 2 hours of work. (Hourly fees of course). THEN (and I don't think even the production crew expected this one!) AFTER She paid him she popped her purse down and he pretended he'd forgotten a tool, she was distracted and he lifts ANOTHER £40 I think it was out her purse! My ex was like 😱😱😱wtf!!!

We've had lots of odd discussions since splitting but one was that he STILL doesn't blindly trust visitors to his home and he and wife 2 fell out once cos she "lost" £20 and then it turned out the meter reader had been that day! They called the company and she was really annoyed that they basically admitted they'd had similar complaints about him before (their excuse was lack of evidence why they'd not sacked nor informed police) and thought it was enough to apologise and credit the £20 to their account!! She was livid and my ex was like "I told you! Don't leave em alone, don't leave your purse lying about when they're there"

I wonder how many on this thread have contactless cards but don't use rfid blockers in their purses and wallets and don't make customers behind you in the uk keep at least 2ft distance? Or check their bank statements to endure the withdrawals tally with expenditure?

Or answer phone calls from international numbers from countries they have no connection to? Even the ones I do have connection to if the number isn't recognised I don't answer, then contact the person I know in that country to check they weren't trying to get hold of me, no emergency etc.

The scams are constantly evolving.

I had one recently claiming to be from the nhs and needing to check my dob and current address. When I asked why as surely they already have this info as they have my number it became clear it was guff!

A friend of mine her dh works in fraud prevention for his company (a telecoms company) and YEARS ago (I'm talking dial up Internet) using JUST my dob and last name he was able to find

My first name & middle name (which is VERY unusual)
My last 3 addresses
My landline and mobile numbers
Dds dob
And... My prescription history! Yep "confidential" medical info!!

And that was over 15 years ago!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/02/2019 01:31

Be wary if you get a letter by post from Mr Udong Pong in Hong Kong.

Is he the one who sells men's deodorant in bulk? Grin

DuchessofPemberley · 02/02/2019 03:10

Maybe don’t show this to your DH in case it gives him too many ideas, but I love this Ted Talk on responding to SPAM email! I watch it every now and then when I need a chuckle Grin

m.youtube.com/watch?v=_QdPW8JrYzQ

TheLostTargaryen · 02/02/2019 08:27

Anyone else here love to wind scammers up? I have spent loads of time wasting there's. When "Windows" call I like to keep them on the phone, acting dumb as fuck following their instructions (that give them remote access to my computer) and when it doesn't work and they're severely frustrated I say, "oh you wanted me to turn the laptop ON first?
I ask most to hold whilst I go turn the stove off. Then I go watch telly leaving the phone line open. There's a few more things I have done too. I figure while they're on the phone to me they're not scamming a little old lady out of her savings.

OP posts:
ipswichwitch · 02/02/2019 08:41

I’ve been getting the answerphone messages from someone claiming to be HMRC. They never refer to me by name, but have been getting more and more threatening each time. The first instructed me to assemble my legal team as HMRC we’re investigating my unpaid tax, and I could ring them and speak to Dennis my caseworker 😂. At the end they sign off with a slightly sinister “take care”!! Like HMRC are going to say that 🙄

The latest one about 3 months ago was threatening me with my imminent arrest - they have a warrant out apparently. I’m still waiting to be arrested! In that time I’ve had correspondence and from the real HMRC regarding my tax so they clearly know how to find me 😂

Topseyt · 02/02/2019 09:49

My Dad loves to wind scammers up.

He is in his eighties. He doesn't have internet or a computer and never has. He pretends he has one though but doesn't know how to turn it on. They then go through a whole long spiel with him describing how to turn on this non-existent computer. They then usually ask for the password and he tells them "yes, the password is buggeroff", and they then realise that they have been had. Some get aggressive and just shout down the phone, and others just hang up. He just laughs at them.

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