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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Odd kids' birthday gifts, is it just us? (LH)

131 replies

JacobeanWilson · 28/01/2019 11:13

Light hearted, I need cheering up.

My DC's birthday this weekend. Turned 9, average size for age. Gift from one of the BFF's... clothing age 7! She has not been in that size for over 2 years! The bff's parents would know this won't fit, as their DC is the same size (not a money issue, parents in good jobs, nice house etc.) so it's just weird!

But it reminded me of a couple of years ago when another of my DC got one of those messenger bags you colour in yourself. Except the pens were missing. And the tags keeping the bag in place had all been removed with the bag slid loosely back in place ie it had obviously been opened & toyed with but decided against keeping & palmed it off with vital bits missing! (again a well off family, not a money issue).

Maybe a symptom of birthdays after Christmas & people getting rid of things they received but didn't want! So is it just us?

Note: this is about inappropriate / dubious gifting kids in any form and not about complaining re cheap gifts (the clothing example wasn't cheap so it's nothing to do with value of the item but the actual item itself). I personally spend more time than I should getting nice / appropriate gifts for people I know & my kids friends, therefore I notice blatantly inappropriate gifts at 100 paces, yin to my yang.

So... has anyone else's DC had equally random, surprising & amusing gifting experiences you care to share..?

OP posts:

Burlea · 28/01/2019 12:24

Our eldest granddaughter was given a pack of chocolate rolls which were out of date by 12 months.

BikeRunSki · 28/01/2019 12:24

Age 13, my aunt gave me a 3 pack of M&S granny knickers in a size 18-20.

She said it was because she’d heard that my siblings and I had to buy our own clothes (yes, but we got an allowance) and she didn’t want to get anything too small, as we’re all tall. Tall..... but not a size 20.

reallybadidea · 28/01/2019 12:26

When ds1 was about 11 he was given a load of play dog from MIL for Christmas. We thought that she must have just mislabeled it because he had a 5 yo sibling at the time...no apparently not. He was completely bemused. Don't know what MIL was thinking really!

Incaseofemergencybreakglass · 28/01/2019 12:27

We've had one relative regularly give clothing that was many sizes too big in addition to being nothing like the style the kids wore - clearly off the sale rail at a shop they think is 'trendy' (the kids don't agree!) One year, it was a shirt that was still hanging in the wardrobe 4 years later and still too big. At that point it went in the charity bag.

Also had many, many gifts from another relative that were presumably from the pound shop as were so incongruous, for example age inappropriate Top Trumps cards that they'd outgrown about 4 years previously. And it wasn't even a set each - they had to share! Whilst said relative's children sat around enjoying their lovely, much more expensive, thoughtfully-chosen gifts from us...

I will never understand some people.

MIL did get me a horrific paperweight this year. It looked like a pile of curled up dog poo, with a glistening sheen on it. She often tells me about how clever she was to find really cheap/sale stuff for other people so I'm guessing that applies to us too. She excelled herself with that one though - I'm not even sure the charity shop would have wanted it.

Kitsandkids · 28/01/2019 12:30

I have 2 boys a year apart in age. A school mum friend who I help out quite a bit with pick ups and drop offs has a son pretty much in between the age of my 2. He is always dressed quite ‘trendy.’ For Christmas she gave us a set of 2 t shirts with a cartoon character that is definitely aimed at younger children (think Tree Fu Tom type character). The tops were age 8-10 so not massively small though my two are in 10-11 and 11-12 now. I assume the shop was selling them cheap as I can’t imagine many big sizes with that character on being sold, unless you had a younger child who was really tall. It was just odd as there is no way her son, the same age near enough as my two, would ever wear those tops so I don’t know why she bought them for us!

The year before, the boy came to my now 9 year old’s birthday party and sheepishly gave him the present saying, ‘my mum made a mistake with your present.’ It was an LOL dolls jigsaw puzzle. It wasn’t a big deal but it was just odd, when she had a son the same age so knows what kind of thing boys that age were in to.

ChickiePeaPie · 28/01/2019 12:30

Incaseofemergencybreakglass Pics of the poop glass, please!!

RandomName9 · 28/01/2019 12:32

For Christmas my almost 14 year old got an age 3+ telescope - probably wouldn't have been so bad if we didn't already have 2 decent ones in the house. He also got from the same family member a box of 4 wooden puzzles, the box had a clear lid so you could see there was only 3 puzzles inside!! This (quite close) family member is notorious for weird, obviously regifted/second hand shop presents. Poor boy was gutted

BlooperReel · 28/01/2019 12:35

DD was 2 and received roller skates, honestly you'd think they wanted us to have a trip to a&e.

April2020mom · 28/01/2019 12:36

I received a bunch of flowers once for my 16th birthday. Over the years I’ve pondered who sent me them but no one knew. At first I thought a friend from school sent me them. However I did not see any card that would tell me more.
Recently my friend sent me a lego set for DS and DD. I’m keeping it for the future.

ilmmaiss · 28/01/2019 12:37

My DS had a 5th bday party for school friends and one bought him a tiny wheelie bin. Nothing in it, just a green plastic wheelie bin, but about 6 inches high. Absolutely no idea what it was for or where it was from.

Incaseofemergencybreakglass · 28/01/2019 12:37

Pics of the poop glass, please!! So sorry to disappoint but it went to the charity shop -who probably immediately binned it-

msannabella · 28/01/2019 12:38

For my eldests 4th birthday my dhs uncle bought him a baby blanket with a chew corner and one of those baby phones with the light up buttons. Worst but was uncle insisted on in opening them so ds could play with them, ds obviously showed no interest and there was no way we could exchange for something he would have liked.

Dahlietta · 28/01/2019 12:40

Out of interest, do you buy a replacement gift for your child when you do this? I am inconsistent in this area!

No, I haven't done, but that's because they've just been sitting untouched and forgotten in the spare room so when he has a birthday party to go to I tend to say, "Do you think we could give this to Tarquin? You don't really want it, do you" and he'll shrug his shoulders and say "Yes, fine". It helps that he doesn't really care about toys - he just wants to make things out of the furniture...

Hamandcrispsandwich · 28/01/2019 12:41

One year, we'd just got back in contact with my family. A huge fuss was made because aunty X had brought me and my sister a gift. Her mum (dads side) and all her siblings kept telling us how lucky we were that she had brought for us and how amazing she was as an aunt. My aunt has two sons, one was 6, the other a newborn.

Fast forward to the day. I, as a 12 year old girl, was brought a newborn baby boy outfit. Apparently, it was so I could dress my dolls. Came with a tag on that read 'To Aunty X, congratulations on your new arrival. Lots of love xyz'

My sister was given a gift voucher for a shop we live nowhere near. There was a piece of paper inside it that said
'To Johnny, Have a lovely 4th birthday. Love you so much, love Nanna y' (not real name)

The gift voucher was two years out of date, so my sister was pretty gutted!

Dvg · 28/01/2019 12:42

Baby at 4 months ... received one of those frog things that they sit on and hold onto and it rocks back and forth .. with pen scribbled on it.. he couldn't even crawl let alone sit by himself XD

She said it can be for when he is older as she got it for free from neighbour... You can buy them for £5 and I live in a small flat

ToffeePennie · 28/01/2019 12:43

We’ve had a few weird ones.
Someone gave my biggest a dinosaur and fossil exploration kit. For age 10+. Hes 4.
Someone else just gives really wrong gifts. A massive moving, electronic dumper truck. He was the perfect age for it (at 2) but it was HUGE. The gift giver knew we had just moved in with family and therefore 5 of us were crammed into a small 3 bed. It lived on the landing as there was no where else for it. The following year he got a HUGE stuffed toy, that is still 3x the size of my 4 year old! It still doesn’t fit anywhere.

ArcheryAnnie · 28/01/2019 12:47

A baby shawl from friends (who also had a kid) when DS was, er, about 8. Still baffled.

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 28/01/2019 12:47

DS was given a Teddy that said 'Oliver' on it when he was born. One of those teddies they do with a million different names on so you can buy one with the baby's moniker embroidered on it. (DS is not called Oliver BTW).

I thought the teddy-giver must have just not noticed that it had a name on at all but was PRETTY obvious. DH had a theory that they thought the BEAR's name was Oliver. We kept it anyway. If I have another DS I guess we can call him Oliver so it's not wasted.

NoSquirrels · 28/01/2019 12:48

Gumbo we had the rocket kit for 14+ at a similarly tender age too! I think the rationale was that it was for the family to do together?

My MIL is great with gifts, mostly, but she loves to buy clothes and for each DC she always always always buys them the size that they are growing out of, not into. It's baffling, really. So for Christmas the DC1 might be 8.5 and get an age 8 jumper - OK, fair enough I guess, although I'd have sized up to get the most wear out of it. But DC2's birthday is near to Christmas so the age 6 jumper for a 6.11 year old is bizarre. And when it happens on birthdays and is always the size down (7-8 on the 8th birthday, or 5-6 on the 6th birthday) I just cannot fathom it.

I quite often have a 'generic presents' drawer but less and less as the kids' friends get older and more specific in likes and dislikes.

Notso · 28/01/2019 12:49

Some of these don't seem that inappropriate to me. Mine have had things which are aimed at older children and we just do them together or put them away.

For several years DH received iTunes vouchers from his brothers when nobody in the household let alone DH had any apple products.

DS2 gets a lot of chocolate he can't eat due to allergies which feels thoughtless especially when it's from very close family.

PIL bought 5 month old DD a neon pink string bikini back from holiday. It was awful!

MagicEye · 28/01/2019 12:49

a "remember when" nostalgia book given to my son aged 9 at the time by his grandmother

Notso · 28/01/2019 12:52

Out of interest, do you buy a replacement gift for your child when you do this?

Not really, if I think about it I might stuff a fiver in their money box but usually I just squirrel stuff away and keep it long enough that they've forgotten they had it.

ArcheryAnnie · 28/01/2019 12:54

PIL bought 5 month old DD a neon pink string bikini back from holiday. It was awful!

!!!

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 28/01/2019 12:54

DD was given an elaborate, inexpensive, lady's dress watch, with fake crystals etc for her 9th birthday, obvs far to big for her. She was delighted with it though.

I suppose its last minute "oh-shit-there's-another-party" - if you've got 3 or more kids in the 4 - 10 age range it's hard for every present to be lovingly individually chosen. Though there is never anything wrong with a box of Maltesers and a fiver.

Housewife2010 · 28/01/2019 12:55

When my daughter was born she was given lots of 3-6 months old clothes which was great, except that they were all Summer clothes and she was born in mid July so they wouldn't be suitable when she was big enough. We took some of them back to the shops, but they were now in the sale so only got half the amount back in a voucher. (The sales were down to the last dregs by the time I felt up to shopping). If they had been babygros or vests it would have been ok but summery dresses and sunhats wouldn't have worked in the Winter.

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