AIBU to study?

[SickOfBeingTired2019]

Bit of background - SAHM to 3 DC's, 2 of whom have additional needs and are home educated as a result. DH wasn't against me studying, but wasn't in support of it either. I'm now nearing the end of my 2nd term Nd I've fallen behind massively. I've been given extensions on my assignments but still I've got no time to do them. DH is currently on leave from work for the next week and is absolutely refusing to look after the dc's so I can study. Tells me he knew this would happen, and I'm simply to disorganized. He also thinks it's a waste of time as he says there's no need for me to work, so why bother upskilling? He says I can do it later when the children have left home.

I'm so tired. I haven't slept more than a few hours a night so far this year and I'm feeling so incredibly guilty and useless. I can't even think straight. I thought I could study when the DC's were in bed, but one of them has been extra needy this month, takes till 2am to settle most nights. AIBU to try and study at this stage? Should I drop out and focus everything on the DC's? Exams are next week and I haven't even managed to get through half the course work.

It does sound like studying will be hard for you given your circumstances. However it also sounds like your DH is being a massive twat who is adding to your stress. A good partner is a supportive one.

Aside from the DH issues, if this isn't going to work, could you take a leave of absence and see how things are in perhaps six months? It might be the case that you're not going to be able to do this right now, but I'd also be concerned at DH's behaviour.

I'm aware he's being an absolute tit. He also doesn't want me working. His life is much nicer if I'm at home . Mostly I'm ok with this, I do enjoy being with the children and I realise it's a privilege.

I'm just so tired all the time. And I feel defeated. If I insist he takes the children for the morning, he lasts at most, an hour and a half, before returning with them and then taking the rest of the day off as he's exhausted. I knew when I signed up to study that I'd be doing it with no support, but it feels like he's ramped up his unsupportive behaviour in retaliation. Then I feel bad, because there is a good chance I'm just feeling uncharitable towards him and seeing things as worse than they are because I'm just so tired. Sleep deptivation is killing me

He can't dictate how you lead your life, and it's a dreadful example for your children to witness. What would happen if you told him you wanted to work and he could become a SAHP? I doubt that would go down well, and yet he does the reverse to you?

A life led under someone else's rules will never be a happy one, and it's a terribly bad unequal marriage. How dare he only look after his children for an hour if you insist upon it? I really feel for you.

I'm aware he can't dictate my life, I've tried everything bar leaving to get him to pull his weight. The last time we had this conversation he picked up extra work so was home even less. Then I feel guilty as he works so hard to provide for us