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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm going a bit mad over pet dying

16 replies

GraceMarks · 27/01/2019 19:19

I had to have a pet put to sleep a couple of weeks ago - a much-loved pet who had been with me for a lot of years. He got ill suddenly and I didn't get much chance to come to terms with it before I had to say goodbye.

I'm now barely managing to hold it together. I wake up in the morning feeling sick and anxious, go to work and do the bare minimum, and go straight home afterwards. I don't want to see anyone or do anything. I randomly burst into tears and have had to run off and hide in the toilets so nobody sees.

I know some level of grief is completely normal, but this feels like too much. I do have a history of MH issues, and I have various other worries going on in my life, but I was coping ok up until this latest setback.

Is it normal and reasonable to still be sobbing over a dead pet at this stage or do I need to get to my GP? I suppose I'm worried I'm not going to be taken seriously because it's a pet, not a person!

OP posts:
ItsMEhooray · 27/01/2019 19:21

Yes see your GP. It's not just about your pet, it's a combination of factors and your mental health is important. Sorry for your loss and take care Thanks

ilovekale · 27/01/2019 19:21

Bless you. I'm ready to get blasted here but pets are family members whether fluffy or not, so it's normal that you can't just switch the grief off. Will take time. Think about the happy life you gave him and remember him with a smile.

Maelstrop · 27/01/2019 19:23

Go see your doctor. I've never got over a dog dying, 9 years and I still cry, it's embarrassing. I'm very attached to my current pack, I'm dreading one of them dying.

Creacaluaidhe · 27/01/2019 19:23

You poor thing. Losing a pet is very difficult. Flowers
Maybe talk to hour gp. It’s not like it’s daft cos it’s ‘only’ a pet. Sounds to me like you may need some help with this.

Bestia · 27/01/2019 19:23

It’s normal to be very upset for a long time, and to go through a grieving process.

It sounds like you have a lot more going on though - you should definitely see your GP.

Iblinkedandiamold · 27/01/2019 19:24

It's only been a couple of weeks, you need time to come to terms with the loss. I never had a pet but my friend had a dog I was very attached to. I spent a lot of time at her house. When she had to put the dog to sleep she was deveststed. I was upset too, not as much as her obviously. Even now though, years later, I still miss the mutt jumping up on me.
My friend cried every evening for months and months.

MrMeSeeks · 27/01/2019 19:24

Yanbu, i will be the same when i lose mine.some pets touch you deeply. Sorry for your loss xx

RebulahConundrum · 27/01/2019 19:25

My cat dying was the catalyst for a really long bout of depression. Saw my GP about it, feeling a bit daft and that she would judge me for being so upset over a cat, but she was really nice and understanding about it. Doesn't matter the species, you've lost someone you loved and you need help.

Iblinkedandiamold · 27/01/2019 19:25

But you should see your GP given your other problems.

MatildaTheCat · 27/01/2019 19:25

I would say it is completely normal and a human reaction to the loss of a loved one. By all means speak to your GP if you are worried about your MH but I feel it is wrong to pathologise grief as if it is abnormal.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Do whatever you need to to deal with the grief. Do you have friends to talk to? It will ease with time but for now it is what it is. And that is, unfortunately very painful.

scaryteacher · 27/01/2019 19:25

One of my cats isn't very well atm and it has been very rapid. If I have to have him PTS, it will be devastating. I've been there four times before and it broke my heart each time.

I had to have my lovely ginger boy PTS in 2005 when he was 19. I still well up when I think about him at times.

confusedandemployed · 27/01/2019 19:28

Agree with PP. Pets are family members, you spend more time with them than all of your extended family, you care for them and enjoy life with them for years. Grieving them when they are gone is the norm, not unusual.
Be kind to yourself, see your GP if you feel the need but really, just grieve. Eventually the pain does subside and the happy memories return. I promise, I know Flowers

Original poster
GraceMarks · 27/01/2019 19:28

Oh dear, I'm off again... usually when you have a good cry, you feel better, but this is just making me feel drained and exhausted. I'm sick of having a swollen face and being dehydrated. I will call my GP tomorrow morning and make an appointment.

OP posts:
Raspberry10 · 27/01/2019 19:33

I lost my elderly dog, just before Christmas. She had to be put down very suddenly and it was very traumatic. I had a cry about her today, I think it’s totally normal to grieve your pet, especially when you have had them so long. Be kind to yourself and ask the GP for some help to get you through it. Flowers

SusieOwl4 · 27/01/2019 19:35

If you had insurance some offer grief counselling ? I lost my dog and tbh I could not speak about it for months , I kept it all in . But I still get upset when his photo pops up on Facebook memories. I am getting his ashes put into a pandora charm soon . My daughter lost her dog in an accident and she made a memory box and kept photos and his lead etc . She was devastated.

Original poster
GraceMarks · 27/01/2019 19:40

Oh god yes, Facebook memories are the worst. I didn't realise how much I'd posted about him over the years - I don't want to forget about him or anything, but I'm not ready to be confronted with a daily picture yet.

Thank you to everyone who's commented. I know how much pets mean to people and it's reassuring to hear that I'm not alone.

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