Dd desperate for a dog and im sad i just cannot do it.

[malificent7]

Dd loves dogs and sometimes is in tears that she dosnt have one.we have a cat and dd is great with her.
Id love to give her a dog as she is an only and i'd love her to have another animal companion in her teens ( she is 10.)
However..i work long hours and im skint. Feel so crap i cannot give her something she'd love in her childhood. Plus id love all the walking.

Have you looked at Borrow my Doggy or local equivalent where you and your DD could share care without the cost or full commitment?

Have you thought about something like the Cinnamon Trust. They are a charity that needs volunteer dog walkers for elderly and terminally ill people who can no longer walk their own.

You tend to regularly walk the same dog, so build up a relationship, but they place no demands on you at all.

Could you afford some liability insurance so you could offer holiday boarding at home for dogs during the school summer holiday?

I share your pain. My DD is 13 with no siblings and no close family and she has wanted a dog for years. But no can do. I work and am allergic to animal fur. We have guinea pigs but it's not the same and I do really feel she's missing out.

My DSC are desperate a dog. Also two kittens, some fish, rabbits, a hamster, a pig and several siblings. We had a cat, she died, and we’re not going to get another pet for a while. Life isn’t fair, they’re okay with that

My friend used to volunteer with the Blue Cross, walking dogs every Saturday. Not sure how old you have to be to do that that though.
Don’t worry OP, my parents didn’t let me have any pets either - due to several valid reasons - out at work all day/allergic to cats/didn’t want the hassle etc. I was upset at the time, but now I am older I find myself giving similar reasons to my own DC when they ask for a dog. We have a cat, but it’s cruel to have a dog if you are out of the house all day (unless you can afford to pay ££ for dog walkers).

I was desperate for a dog a few months ago, joined borrow my doggy and have been inundated with people needing care for their dogs.

You should definitely look into taking some dogs for a walk, have them over for a night etc. My kids enjoy it so much and it doesn't impact my ability to work.

Don’t feel any guilt. You are being honest that you do not have the time or capacity to dedicate to owning a dog. Your DD needs to understand that it is a huge and responsible decision, not to be taken lightly.

Local dog charities would love someone like your DD to come and help walk all their dogs when she is older. The dogs would too! You could sponsor a Guide dog or one at the Battersea dog’s home in the meantime.

Loving these ideas..i know i reality it will be tough..kids don't see the practicalities.

We got the dog that DH and DS 12 were so desperate to have. DH is good and does most of the work when he's around, but DS still holed up on his computer ignoring ddog who then demands attention from me when DH not here. I don't enjoy spooning out smelly dog food first thing in the morning and having to factor in walks and entertainment when I work from home and I resent the wads of cash given to the dog walkers every eeek.

We use borrowmydoggy and a lovely couple take our dog out usually every other weekend. If you wanted to have a dog during people's holidays you'd be inundated with offers. A week of an actual dog would probably put your DD off the notion.

It's perfectly fine for children not always to get things, even if they really really want them. When your daughter is an adult, she can make her own choices and have a dog then. But it would not be fair to the dog for you to get one now and at 10, your daughter is old enough to understand that.

Kids don't always get what they want. She has a pet. There's nothing to feel sad or guilty about.

My 12yo dd is exactly the same, she has sobbed before as it's something she wants so badly 😢

I have some friends who foster a dog for guidedogs for the blind, it works well for them as you drop the dog at the training center every day. I would do the same but they're not looking for volunteers in my area 😕

We borrow friends dogs as and when we can.

I wouldn't get one if I was you, I begged and begged my parents to get me a dog and when I was 9 they finally got one, after a few years I just wasn't as interested anymore so it was left to my mum to walk daily and feed etc by the time the dog died I was in my early 20's and had left home. I have a Siamese cat who's behaviour is very dog like only without the responsibility of daily walks and he's happy to spend the day home alone sleeping with my other 2 cats, maybe that could be a compromise? Could also lead train it so she can walk it occasionally if she wants?

I would also agree about walking someone else's dog. My youngest DD has always desperately wanted us to get a dog, unfortunately her older sister is very allergic (risk of anaphylaxis if she gets dog dander in her bloodstream, through a cut or a bite). Younger DD thought that when her sister went away to college last sept that we could get one, but its still not an option- otherwise her sister can't come home for the holidays. Even when she has left home completely, I still want her to be able to come and visit or stay, so I will never get a dog, even though I like dogs. Sometimes it's just circumstances.

OP, you are so right not to get a dog. I grew up with packs of them, and love them to bits. But I work ft and can't have one. If I had a dog, it would be for me, not for the dog. Which is wrong. Teenage DD hates me for it (the other DC don't want one). Agree that walking other people's dogs is a good idea. My DD won't do this, which suggests to me that she isn't really that keen on the reality of dog-owning, because it obviously involves a shedload of walking...

Your DD does have a pet, which is good. My DD has some guinea pigs. They do have to realise that circumstances aren't always suitable for the particular pet they have in mind, and that the pet's needs come first...

I was your DD. I desperately wanted a dog and knew we had no chance of getting one.

I shared a dog as soon as I graduated and got my own dogs as soon as I bought a house. There is always time when she is older.

Also, meant to say - one of the clinchers in us getting our current dog was DS1 starting secondary and being home a lot earlier to see dog. Unfortunately the first time he was expected to pick up poo he retched and is therefore bloody useless for walks...

Firstly, thank you for being responsible and recognising that now isn't the right time for you to own a dog. (I've volunteered with several rescue charities in the past and it's always refreshing to see people adopt a sensible perspective about whether ownership is right for them).

Two thoughts here: 1) Personally I wouldn't look at getting another pet- your daughter wants a dog and a rodent probably won't fulfil the same needs, then you're stuck with the expense and logistics of looking after another pet.

2. Another vote for the Cinnamon Trust! I volunteered for them in 2 different cities I lived in as I was also desperate for a dog but knew I couldn't give one all that they'd need. The added bonus of knowing you're helping someone else out is amazing. 😊