“He belongs to us”

[Deadmansdrop]

Said by FIL when I told him and MIL that DS would not be having sleepovers (or any alone time for that matter) with them.

They are drinkers. They are irresponsible. They take SIL’s children in the car without car seats and lie to BIL, a policeman, about it. MIL told me, proud of the fact.

There are a dozen other reasons including bad language and teaching the children to chant football chants (putting other teams down and being “blue til I die”) about the team FIL supports.

Anyway, Aibu to think he doesn’t “belong to them“?

Wtf? He belongs to them?? He is a child not a bloody dog and more to the point he is YOUR child not your tit of a fil's child

No, not Welsh.

@SteamedBadger, the chants are quite rude about other teams. My son would repeat without knowing what he was saying.

I would not let their toxic behaviour anywhere near him. As a parent you have to protect your child from this kind of shit. They're walking all over you. Stop it now.

If they regularly have SIL's children at weekends, I would have thought it's relatively easy for the local police to include them in a list of people/cars to watch out for.

Is your partner on board with going very low contact with his parents?

He is your child, not theirs. You have parental rights and responsibility, they don't. Therefore the decisions regarding DS are yours to make. Not theirs.

Nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Including children. We are all individuals and family members.

I wouldn't have wanted such twats looking after my children alone when they were that young (if ever). So I would make that very clear. Nor would I want much contact with them afterwards.

They sound pretty bad.
I don't in the slightest blame you for not wanting your DS to be alone with them, they're utterly irresponsible.
I wouldn't want SIL having much to do with your DS either though, since she cares more about getting one over on her estranged husband than her kids' safety!

Glad your DH is with you on this - and I hope you find a way to "shop" them for the no-seatbelt thing.

SaturdayNext

Partner on board. Actually he’s very unsure of making parenting decisions because he says he had similar in his own childhood (no seatbelts, parents drinking every night, not bothering with school dress up days or bake sales or homework) and thought it was normal. However, he has realised when talking to people at work, going to our classes when I was pregnant and being around other parents that lots of things were not normal about his childhood.

Football chants would be enough for me!

Wouldn't blame you if you didn't see them at all tbh.

diddl First thing FIL said when he saw him, was “He’ll be a blue til he dies”. “Dies”! He was one day old. The women in the next bed was shocked.

SIL’s seven year old calls the city’s other football team supporters “scum”. 😦

If there was ever a reason for going no contact, it is this. Protect your child from these vile people.

I think slavery has been abolished last time I checked. No human, even a child, "belongs" to anyone.

Yanbu
Also for any future visits, please dress dc in a man u shirt 😈

You don't have to leave your kids with anyone you don't trust. Just ignore whatever they say.

I am guessing they are in Glasgow. That mentally still exists there. You need to keep them at arms length.

If BiL is a policeman your local constabulary will be able to find him. All you need to do is give them his name and (hopefully you know) whereabouts he works. They're very inter-connected and will be only too happy to pass on your message about the car seats. I also might be tempted to inform FiL's employer that he's driving drunk in a company car. As a bonus, perhaps the iLs will realize it was you, cause an argy-bargy, and they'll all go NC!! Happy thoughts!!

The problem is, these type of people will soon begin undermining you with your children. Even when you are there it will be 'Oh it's fine, never mind Mummy, Grandad says YES!' or 'Bad Daddy! He shouldn't tell you off like that, should he?". Seriously, I'd start right now backing away from the lot of them. Decrease visits slowly until there are none so it's not a 'shock' to the children. Start 'forgetting' to charge your phone so it's 'dead' when they call or you 'left it in the house and were out'. Get a Ring doorbell (they're great for unwanted visitors).

You say you 'don't live near' and if I were you I'd think about living further away. Like, say, Timbuktu.

He belongs to us?

He'll be a blue till he dies?

They sound vile. I would go NC. It does not sound as if they have anything positive at all to offer you or your son.

And at dressing him in a Man U or any other football team's shirt.