Paranoia? New friend

[Upanddownandroundagain]

I’m not very good at making new friends, although I’ve improved loads since I had kids. So I’m not terribly good at social things you know? I’m quite quiet I guess, a little shy inside, and a lot of social anxiety.

I’ve made a new friend at my kids school, and the kids get on lovely. So I invited her and the family over, we all got on lovely.

We’ve made arrangements to do something together this week as well, which is lovely. But then after that she invited other people that she must know from the playground. They’re much louder characters, very gregarious. I’m getting paranoid that she didn’t really like me that much.

Even as I’m writing this I can see that I’m being paranoid and selfish but I’ve been in ‘groups’ before and been edged out by the louder ones, and it worried that will happen here as well. I guess I had just been looking forward to making a nice friend.

So AIBU to be a bit disappointed it isn’t just us?

I don’t think this is paranoia.

I think it’s reasonable for you to have thought you guys are developing a friendship and that usually happens best without lots of other people involved.

But I also don’t think it means anything about how much she likes you. If she’s a more outgoing type she might honestly be oblivious to the fact you will get steamrollered in this situation.

Remember she doesn’t know you well enough yet to realise how quiet and shy you actually are. If you’re anything like me you’ve probably done a good act of looking quite confident so far

Go to this thing and try your best to not worry or second guess things.

Then if you still want to invite her for a coffee with you or similar where adding random people would be rude

It feels a bit like going on a date, and thinking it went well, then meeting a second time and he’s invited a load of other women he might want to date instead

And I know exactly what you mean about appearing confident, I’m exactly like that x

Lol @ inviting a load of other suitors!

I’m very much a 1on1 friends person too so I can imagine you not wanting to compete with her existing friends. Just try your best this time (you will have to go tho!) and organise your next few “dates” in a way you can control the attendees lol x

Came on to reply but Just has said it perfectly, tbh. Enjoy your “date”