To ask how you divide housework if one of you works part time?

[Rainatnight]

I work three days a week. DP works full time. We both have 'big' jobs, but I jobshare, so have two days a week at home with DD (who is 2).

If you're in a similar position, how do you divide the housework, and by housework, I mean including all the mental load stuff like are there enough nappies?

I work 30 hours in a stressful job and still do the lion's share and all the mental load/kids stuff.
It's been a bone of contention for the last 12 years and I'm bitter about it (realise it's my fault for doing this though).

2 days a week is plenty of time to get all the housework done & as for things like nappies, why not just buy them regularly so you know you have plenty in? Or when you get down to a certain point the one who gets there writes it on a shopping list on the fridge? It's not exactly a 'load', it's just making a one-time effort to be organised (i.e. adding to a regular online shopping list or putting a whiteboard on the fridge). It's by calling it a 'mental load' that it feels like a big deal. It really isn't.

I always think it best to "play to your strengths" with stuff round the house. Dh is great at cracking on with the laundry, I'm good at planning and cooking the meals and sorting the online shop. He does the swimming lessons etc and I make sure dinner money is paid in.

It doesn't ever get petty as I don't really have to think about the things he does and he doesn't really have to think k about the things I cover. I don't know what the specific split is, but Everything gets done.

i work 30 hours a week, husband does 50. i do all the household stuff. we have a cleaner. Anything i cant do like decorating, heavy gardening, I employ someone. Husband is supposed to do bins but delegates that to kids.

thats less than 20 hours a week, so it equals out our effort. And thats why i wouldnt go back to full time as i dont think husband would do anything round the house

I work 3 days DH full time. I get the kids ready every day as DH has to leave earlier. I batch cook on Sunday for the 3 days I work so when DH or I get in it's a case of pop it in the microwave. I will also cook the rest of the week. I do all the washing and shopping. I also do all the house admin.
DH does bath and bed almost every night. He is also very good at doing a 20min tidy up each evening and will hoover at weekends. DH also picks up bits of shopping if we need to on way home from work.
It works for us. I hate hoovering he hates putting the washing out etc.

Two days is plenty of time to get everything done so I'd expect whichever of us had those two days off work to get it done leaving the weekends free bar cooking/dishes.

All this "mental load" stuff is rubbish. Use a shopping list if you really can't remember to buy nappies etc.

My 3 days are much longer than DH.

I work 30 hours a week, term time only with a minimal commute. DH works full time with a long commute but occasionally WFH. He also has to bring work home with him fairly regularly.

DH does the cooking because he enjoys it and is good at it whereas I hate it and I'm rubbish but I tend to do the majority of tidying up, laundry, school admin and other mental load type stuff during the week. This is purely because I'm home a lot more than he is. On weekends we both pitch in with whatever needs doing. He does the gardening and bins/recycling though. It all sorted of balances out.

If I was at home 2 days a week I would definitely expect to be doing the lion's share of housework and general life admin to be honest.

I have the same setup as you, I do the lions share during the week on my days off and it’s split 50/50 at weekends so we both get the same downtime. So although I work in my paid job 3 days, I use the other 2 working days to keep on top of all the life admin and there’s less to be done at weekends

No, 2 days a week looking after a toddler is exhausting. I would expect to do a bit more but not the lions share of it. When is she supposed to do all the housework with a 2 year old? When they nap so she never gets a break, or is she supposed to shut her in a room somewhere so she gets the cleaning done without the little horror following and undoing it all like mine would?

We both work full time. I do 99% of the mental workload stuff and probably 70% of the house work. I'd say I also do around 85% of the running around after the kids, lifts to clubs, meet up with friends etc and 100% of the Christmas/birthday guest buying.

I think this is left over from when I was part time and it's just carried on. His day is about 1.5 hours longer than mine and as I'm home first I just do stuff. I'm a bit of a control freak, haha! So I don't really mind.

Unevenly.
2 DC, aged 10 and 3.5.
I work 24 hours. I definitely have the lion's share of mental load, DP is good at cleaning, he can get everything tidy in minutes, he changes bedding, I do the deeper cleaning, laundry, admin, school drop offs and pick ups, most of meals.
He is out of the house 45 hours a week.
It is very busy but won't last forever.

*gift buying.

I wouldn't include buying nappies as a 'mental load' it's just shopping surely?

With that split of working hours I would expect to do the larger share of the housework but not all of it. How you split it depends on your household strengths and whether one prefers cooking etc.

I'd expect an agreement that said we both had roughly the same amount of downtime. So do as much as I could in the 2 days, then share equally anything left over.

I work 24 hours locally, DH works very long hour with lots of travelling, often away during the week. I tend to do most of the housework but not in a 1950s housewife style, we have pretty low standards . DH does the garden, DIY, decorating, some shopping, occasional cooking & some ironing. We don’t have strict ‘rotas’. It’s just give and take, been married 30 years. .

I think the expression ‘do you both have equal free time?’ Is useful, and I have far more free time than DH so perhaps I should be doing more ....

Can people really count stuff like having enough nappies in the house as mental load

Caring for a two year old is not necessarily going to facilitate you getting a substantial amount done. Depends very much on the two year old. We usually managed getting washing done, meal prep and place not looking like a total tornado but not much more. Some jobs like vacuuming were completely out.

All the people saying 2 days is enough time to get the housework done seem to have forgotten about the toddler. I dont work part time to clean the house, I do it to spend time with my son. As it happens I get some laundry and washing up done but everything else is still split 50/50.

All our kids are grown up and left home but we have grandchildren. My husband works full time, I'm very part time, so I do all the housework and admin. He does all the cooking and loads the dishwasher(cos apparently I don't do it right!).
But because I don't work full time I'm available for the school run twice a week, and for looking after the little ones for school TD days etc. We also have elderly parents that are not well, so a lot of running about after them falls to me in the week, and he does it on the weekend. Sunday's are our day off together.
It's a good system that works out for everyone.