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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be against 'all nighters' for coursework

23 replies

Howdyhihi · 27/01/2019 02:45

My DN is staying with us, she's at university and moved in with us after not coping well with living in a shared house. Nothing big happened, just the group of girls she sorted a house with turned out to be quite nasty, saying that she doesn't have the most stable MH.

This is the third night in January where she thinks she might work all night (the other two times she did). I've been up with DD and noticed that her light was still on so popped my head round the door to check she was alright.

I had the odd late night at uni but no consistent need for all nighters. There were people on my course who did, they actually boasted about it. My DN works during the day though too, it isn't like she dosses about and then it all catches up with her. I've brought it up how it isn't healthy etc. but she's not bothered, just wants to get her work done.

This can't be normal can it? She also doesn't sleep all day afterwards either, she has a deadline on Monday and said that she'll have to work hard tomorrow as well.

OP posts:

Justagirlwholovesaboy · 27/01/2019 02:53

Are your sure she is studying and not just on social media? Teens lie sometimes, and the like to stay up late

UrsulaPandress · 27/01/2019 02:56

I usd to do all nighters when I had an essay deadline. I think it's pretty normal.

SuchAToDo · 27/01/2019 02:57

Can you sit down with her and work out her schedule...e.g what time she has classes...what time she works (e.g you said she had a job?)...and what hours are her free time during the week....

Once you know what free time she has, get her to allocate some of it to doing her coursework bit by bit each day (so she's not having to do anything drastic like all nighters)...when you are helping her work out her schedule leave her with a bit of her free time for relaxation and socialising too, both of those are important too, .

Then with her schedule all worked out her nights should be free for her to relax and sleep..

She may be happy pulling all nighters but insist that it's your house and your rules and that she reorganises her schedule with your help...otherwise the poor girl is going to end up burning herself out and getting ill

Topseyt · 27/01/2019 03:00

Students are known for burning the candle at both ends. Yes, it happens. No, it isn't healthy.

I know my DD1 did it sometimes when she was a student. She says they would all sit up writing essays in their shared kitchen in hall.

Beansonapost · 27/01/2019 03:02

I did while at uni.

It's not healthy but pretty normal for students with deadlines.

Topseyt · 27/01/2019 03:04

I should add that it isn't actually at all unusual amongst uni students.

If she is at uni she must be about 19, or 20. She will organise her own schedule. You can't do it for her.

Littleraindrop15 · 27/01/2019 03:05

Doing an assignment due in on Monday.. That candle is burning and it is very normal

EthelHornsby · 27/01/2019 03:05

I used to do this at college - I’m a night owl, and it’s easier to concentrate at night when there’s no distractions

JAMMFYesPlease · 27/01/2019 03:08

I still pull all nighters for projects. I've always worked better in the wee hours of the morning so use the time I'm most productive.

The odd night with just a few hours or no sleep isn't that bad. You say she's done it twice before in January so three times in 26 days so far isn't too odd for uni students.

twiglet · 27/01/2019 03:10

I wrote both undergraduate and postgraduate dissertations at night. Would generally work from 7ish in the evening until 5/6am. Would sleep a few hours then go to lectures/lab would get a nap in the afternoon sometimes.

I did this for weeks on end not because I was pushing a tight deadline but because I found I worked a lot better. There are a lot less distractions, it's quieter, nobody is going to text or call you and there is virtually no friends to chat to either online or in person.

If it works for her then great. I did find I was exhausted by the end but that's also common regardless.

swimmerforlife · 27/01/2019 03:15

It would be pretty hard pressed not to find a student that has not pulled several all nighters.

A lot of students work hard all day but also need to work during the night.

She sounds like me when I was a student, I was extremely driven and quite studious (still am) - worked all day and and in the evening during the week, I was often up until midnight, with the odd 3am (getting up 7-8ish). Coped with copious coffee and chocolate helped

But I did that to avoid working during the weekend.

Tbh so long as she still socialises, does exercise etc and not falling asleep during the day, I would not worry.

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/01/2019 03:18

I think the entire marked elements of my degree were built on all-nighters and cramming. Normal for students. It would be unhealthy on a frequent and continued basis. A couple of days a month or at certain times of the year aren’t going to have much impact. No different to going out and being up all night, which I imagine she also does a lot of.

Original poster

Howdyhihi · 27/01/2019 03:38

Thanks for the responses! She still seems okay in herself and is still doing fun stuff. I guess she just works better at night!

OP posts:

Batteriesallgone · 27/01/2019 04:12

If she was a student nurse and working night shifts I assume you’d accept that as part of the course. It’s important at uni to discover different ways of working.

Can’t believe someone suggested you pull the ‘my house my rules’ thing! She’s not disturbing anyone! Treat her like an adult, let her manage her own time.

Claudia1980 · 27/01/2019 04:42

Not unusual at all, especially if you have a demanding course. Not healthy but sometimes it has to be done. But I’d usually only do it if I had a big test or essay due the next day.

WaterBird · 27/01/2019 04:58

YANBU. I am still in uni, and used to have awful sleeping habits, but never stayed up all night.
However, sometimes, depending on the courseload, and possibly extracirriculars or working, there can be times where it just might be necessary.

PenelopeFlintstone · 27/01/2019 05:32

I used to do it. A bottle of Diet Coke and a packet of fags and go, go, go!!!
I'd rather die now and am an annoying reformed smoker (but try to keep those thoughts internal)

Nillynally · 27/01/2019 05:47

Sounds like a night owl. Now-husband pulled all nighters all the time at uni, and I did during my dissertation because it was the only time I could get some peace and not be distracted. It's probably not very healthy but I don't think university is supposed to be; that's why it's only 3 years. Just make sure she's eating a balanced diet!

Fabaunt · 27/01/2019 05:47

Leave her be! She doesn’t need to be babied now that she’s moved out of home and at college. Let her know you’re there if she needs you but certainly don’t be sitting down making out study plans for her, wtf

Nillynally · 27/01/2019 05:49

@PenelopeFlintstone ohh a 2 litre coke and a packet of 20 Marlboros... those were the days.

JasperKarat · 27/01/2019 05:54

I worked best at night, got my best marks with essays I'd written this way, I became mainly nocturnal at dissertation time. I found I focussed, had fewer distractions and something just clicked. I knew an awful lot of other students the same and there is a reason a lot of university libraries are 24 hours. She's an adult and can make her own choices, as long as she's not disturbing others in the house.

PenelopeFlintstone · 27/01/2019 23:55

Glad to hear I wasn't the only one!! @NillyNally

Slothcuddles · 28/01/2019 00:07

I did the same when I was at uni (I was a mum to a 3 month old when I started). Now that baby is in his first year of uni living at home and does exactly the same. So we must be similar- work best in the early hours.

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