AIBU to think I am being forced out of midwifery?

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

I've been a midwife for 12 years. I have a wealth of experience and skills.
But I am also a single parent (not through choice).
I have no family support. Ex husband doesn't involve himself with the children.
I'm in so much debt from paying for a Nanny so I can keep on working.
I can't do it anymore.
Work won't help.
I feel absolutely lost and distraught that for 12 years, I have fought hard to make this work (I was a teenage mum when I started my training). And now I can feel it slipping out of my fingers.
All I wanted was to work as a community midwife so I can use regular childcare. But no, this can not be accomodated due to the government deciding 80% of women should have continuity of carer (Better Births recommendation, which was then used in the NHS Long Term Plan). The traditional community model is going to go to a caseloading model which involves community days, along side hospital shift work. My employer has stated even if I could do the caseloading model, I can not stay part time either (I am currently part time as I have 3 children to manage, and one has additional needs).
These changes are allegedly happening in all Trusts as a result.
I'm going to lose my career. What the hell am I going to do?

It’s a team effotr

It’s a team effort. I don’t know where you get your “should” from!

Have you considered find an au pair instead of a nanny?
They're hugely less expensive

Maria On the NHS, it is requirement for each patient to have a written treatment plan they get a copy of. It is also good practice so everyone is clear what is happening.

Dentists don't have to do 24/7 care though, so they can reasonably be expected to be at the coal face during the week.
And you book acording to when your dentist is working.
It's not even comparable.

OP people are leaving in droves in our trust too. Ward staff are being made to do on-calls; essentially cover when there are not enough staff. Which there never, ever are. Community are being made to cover the ward when they're on call instead of attending home births. It's an utter shit-show. If only they just employed enough people...

Meanwhile the management have created a new band 8 management job for their mates. There's a new position each year it seems! And they spend thousands on pathetic vanity projects and thinking up shit like this to justify their jobs. I fucking hate them.

My dentists are not NHS dentists.

Anyone would think the government had a plan to systematically destroy the NHS bit by bit...

Perish the thought Stressy

Hi there, I read your post with great interest and a whole load of empathy! I am also a midwife and I am short on my hours to revalidate with the NMC and so have spent the last month researching the options those of us in this situation.

With adequate private indemnity insurance you would be able to set up your own business either as a private midwife or to provide limited services as a breastfeeding counsellor or running birth preparation/antenatal education etc and if you have the relevant qualifications (hypnobithing teacher, aromatherapist, reflexologist etc) you can also offer these services. The insurance is not as expensive as you may think and you would simply be using your midwifery skills, knowledge and training in a more flexible way, that fits in with your current lifestyle.

I hope this helps, do get in touch via PM if you would like my number x

Bank work won't work for a few reasons:
A) I still need childcare. Where do I get childcare for adhoc shifts when theres no family support?
B) Where I live (small town in NW England) most shifts are covered by employed staff as extra shifts. The rest then go out as NHSP shifts. There aren't many. And most Trusts here don't like external midwives coming in, and much prefer to have thwir regular staff to cover shifts. There wouldn't be enough bank work for me to survive financially.

I've spoken to another local Trust and there may be an option for 3 days community there for me. I've done an application. No idea what will come from that.

Another colleague has got the union involved over the PT hours and managed ti push them down to 22.5 (she wanted 18 on return from mat leave). So that is something at least....

My head is exhausted with all the thinking about it. It should not be this hard!!

I really hope you succeed . I am an ex nurse who left as there is no flexibility in acute NHS Trusts for staff in reality . The truth is we train and then often have families and shift work is almost impossible to accommodate with a young family as one needs predictability and not shifts that change from one week to the next . Unfortunately there are a lot of vacancies for nursing ( 42000 to be exact ) and midwifery in the UK ( not sure on numbers here) . Someone somewhere needs to address some of the issues related to this and I would wager what puts people off / makes them leave are simply erratic shift patterns and cost of childcare in relation to the pay .

Can you do bank to make up the 450 hours every 3years? and move your skills to another job midwifery or not that abit flexable until kids are older

Not that you should have to do this! It’s wrong what’s happening to you, you should contact HR / union but for your own sanity maybe a move would be best

Where is your ex in all of this? Unless he is abusive to the children can you not negotiate some support?

My ex lives around the corner (literally, we're on the next road back to back). He decided he didn't want to see them back in 2014 (whilst I was pregnant with my 3rd). I have never known exactly why, but I do believe he never bonded with his child. Probably explains why it was so easy for him to just walk away.

My eldest has always seen his dad regulalry, but he isn't the one I need childcare for!

Dear God what an absolute mess. I really do despair when I hear things like this. OP I am just lost for words with this. I can not understand how on earth anyone with kids (or even those without) would ever accept this as a workable position and way to live. How on earth do you get childcare if you are called in at an hours notice any time of the day or night. This is frankly ridiculous and no amount of entitlement to “continuous care” permits midwifes to give up their basic right to a family life. The NHS is critically short of midwives and we should be doing all we can to increase numbers and make it easier for this profession. In a couple of years we are going to end up with a dangerous situation where women will be lucky to have a qualified midwife present during their delivery at all. I was monitored by a small team of midwifes during my anti-natel period and gave birth in the local hospital with a hospital based midwife. It was perfectly fine and I was very happy with the care I received. This is just an absolute disgrace. If you want midwives to be on call like this then we are going to have to pay them a consultant wage. I don’t know how most nurses and midwives afford childcare on the wages they currently receive let alone needing additional emergency childcare like this. Those suggesting an Au Pair, in order to have an Au Pair you need an extra bedroom and frankly I wouldn’t be leaving my 2 children regularly overnight with an Au Pair who has no formal childcare training and minimal childcare experience. That is not a solution.

user139328237 Sun 27-Jan-19 12:21:50

'Quite honestly I'd like to see a 30 year full time commitment enforced when doing an expensive to the taxpayer health care degree which could only be broken in cases of disability or permanent ill health to the individual in question.'

1: those degrees are not funded by the taxpayer, what a feckin foolish comment.

2: how is North Korea working out for you?

So so sorry for all the stress your going through
Hope you got some helpful suggestions

Could you join an agency then you could pick your own hours and possibly work less hours for childcare and still get good money. Agencies for nurses and midwives pay really well x ps I think your employer is being very fucking unfair. Im a nurse in the NHS and although I love my job I think the higher powers think we are robots and have no life/family or personal problems xxxx

@uterusuterus do you work in my trust!!??

uterusuterus zebra I think we must all be at the same trust. Surely there can’t be 3 places that all have such contempt for clinical workers whilst clinging so firmly to their desks. On the wards we’re having neverending cuts with an increasing level of tick box paperwork with the sole purpose of making audits easier. Whilst the offices are bulging at the seams with extra tiers of management and pen pushers with jobs titles we have managed perfectly well without for years but are now apparently more important than hands on care.

Happened to me... I recently retrained as a health visitor. Don’t love it like I did Midwifery but I got the working hours I needed for family life.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Like many women who have had babies, your loss will be felt! Community midwives are much more supportive than hospital midwives (in my experience) and I can’t undestand at all why a drive for more consistent care would advocate removing a midwife who is nearby and forcing her into shift work. It’s baffling and I’m so sorry for you.
I could feel this shift when I had my second son. With my first, issues were dealt with by the community midwife mostly, but with my second pregnancy, everything was immediately referred to the hospital. My first two miscarriages were also dealt with by my midwife, but with my third, I was sent to the hospital with no community midwife. Not having a consistent midwife - just a very impersonal and matter of fact doctor and a nurse -actually made it much harder to bear.

Could your trust help you to move into a research midwife role working on trials or research studies? I've worked with a few research midwives and they usually do normal working hours and ok pay. Your local clinical research network might be able to help too. Also, the Family Nurse Partnership (intensive parenting for 1st time vulnerable mums) employ midwives and health visitors (or they did do), if there's a programme funded in your area?
Shit though, that you trained for a professional career that fitted in with your circumstances, for the goal posts to be moved now you're established.

If you want midwives to be on call like this then we are going to have to pay them a consultant wage.

I think this is the absolutely crux of the matter.

@ThisMustBeMyDream is it possible to employ a nanny/housekeeper/mothers help? The reason I ask is that I have that mind of role. I'm ofsted registered so parents can utilise childcare vouchers but when the children are at school I cook, clean, change beds, iron etc. Would your current nanny be interested in something like this? Or would she be happy with a reduced hourly rate for her non contact hours?

I hope you find a solution that works for you all.