AIBU to think I am being forced out of midwifery?

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

I've been a midwife for 12 years. I have a wealth of experience and skills.
But I am also a single parent (not through choice).
I have no family support. Ex husband doesn't involve himself with the children.
I'm in so much debt from paying for a Nanny so I can keep on working.
I can't do it anymore.
Work won't help.
I feel absolutely lost and distraught that for 12 years, I have fought hard to make this work (I was a teenage mum when I started my training). And now I can feel it slipping out of my fingers.
All I wanted was to work as a community midwife so I can use regular childcare. But no, this can not be accomodated due to the government deciding 80% of women should have continuity of carer (Better Births recommendation, which was then used in the NHS Long Term Plan). The traditional community model is going to go to a caseloading model which involves community days, along side hospital shift work. My employer has stated even if I could do the caseloading model, I can not stay part time either (I am currently part time as I have 3 children to manage, and one has additional needs).
These changes are allegedly happening in all Trusts as a result.
I'm going to lose my career. What the hell am I going to do?

I also have no desire to have the same midwife every time. I’d much rather have some fresh eyes on me every so often for safety.

The nhs does not look after its staff. Midwifery and nursing are very un family friendly.

A colleague of mine split from her dh and said she was happy to carry on working weekends but could only do alternate weekends, when she didn't have the kids. Technically we are only supposed to work one weekend in 4, but we do work more than that. But saying you'd work 1 in 2 should have been more than enough. But the ward manager told her they couldn't guarantee which weekends she would work and that if that was an issue she should leave. She did.

Are there no clinic jobs going OP?

Ex midwife here and I am an ex midwife due to being forced out in the same way.

I am single parent to a son with ASD and whilst I managed to get flexible working for a bit it was made clear it would need to change so after son’s diagnosis I left to become a HV.

It was beyond difficult training to become a HV so much so I got I’ll and crucially my son’s needs sky rocketed.

I lost my career but I did turn my SCPHN (HV training) into a MSc which I will one day use.

Honestly - midwifery is just not compatible with being a single parent with limited support and long term your son’s needs will get more not less.

This is appalling.

I couldn't care less about continuity of care, personally. I had one pretty rubbish midwife during some of my pregnancy appointments and a couple of other good ones. Then a person I'd never met when I was in labour who wax amazing.

Surely much better to have happy and rested staff? You can't magic up overnight childcare if you're a single parent!

I really hope you don't have to leave a job you're so good at and passionate about, OP.

If anyone is reading this and is appalled can I suggest you contact your MP. The government certainly doesn’t listen to NHS staff. They have, however, listened to people who complained they always saw a different midwife (presumably staff are meant to bend the laws of time and space to be in two places at once or, as this thread shows, have no life or responsibilities outside of the job) and this is the result.

Apologies for the rant OP.

*But I am also a single parent (not through choice).
I have no family support. Ex husband doesn't involve himself with the children.

Hope he’s paying for them.*

Well if he isn't, that's on him, not her.

Private obstetricians working in time slot arrangements in public hospitals know that women and babies get a suboptimal birthing experience. It is VERY difficult to get the compromise around birth and birth attendants satisfactory.

I live in a country where almost all births are obstetrician led. You get continuity of care, from your obstetrician. You also get an appointment to be induced shortly before term at a time of your obstetrician’s choosing. Nearly all women have epidurals to cope with the pain of induction. Forceps and episiotomies are also the norm.

Hideous.

OP, I'm a 3rd year student midwife, also a single parent. In your position I think I would be looking to work a specialist role, in antenatal assessment, or fetal medicine all of which are day roles in my trust.
Is commuting to work in another trust an option? I would also consider working for bpas.
Hang in there. Your options will increase as your kids get older.

OP, I really feel for you.
My friend has also just quit midwifery after 22 years because of the unsociable hours which have become totally unfeasible.
How can COC benefit women if we have no bloody midwives left???

I was asked by a new dad last week (I'm also a midwife) why so few MWs have children themselves. He said he had asked every midwife he'd met throughout his wife's pregnancy and birth and only 2 - out of about 10 - had kids of their own. I said everyone's reasons will vary but midwifery, ironically, just isn't conducive to being a mother yourself. There is no way on earth I would be able to practice, earning my (senior band 5) salary, working unpredictable shifts, with no family locally, my DH on a similar salary to me working 9-5, and also have the time and finances available to raise a child. And believe me, we've spent a lot of time trying to figure out a way, because we do really want children. Initially my plan was to go part time in antenatal clinic / community (with the odd bank shift on labour ward so as not to deskill) until any kids I had were a bit older, but with the new caseloading models, realistically I'll probably have to leave the profession once I start a family. Most of my colleagues at my level have said the same. If the government thinks the staffing crisis is bad now, I'd love to see what they think 5 years down the line when the double whammy of no bursaries + no flexible working hits the front lines.

I left district nursing after 13 years due to introduction of a variable shift system incompatible with the childcare needs of those who had no family help. The fact that I was consistently told "the need of the service come first" and wouldn't allow fixed working patterns meant I had to leave. The service is now on its knees, very short sighted.
I feel very sorry for you.

The fact that I was consistently told "the need of the service come first" and wouldn't allow fixed working patterns meant I had to leave. The service is now on its knees, very short sighted.

This

Ah yes, “the needs of the service come first”. Roughly translated as “we don’t care about our staff at all” .

I don't think Stelmos was having a rant, think he/she was saying it like it is. Morale is low, experienced midwives are leaving, the situation is getting worse and I can see how stuff like this is not going to help.

AHeartTiedWithString

Why would you need to leave when you can get nursery care during your husbands working hours and he's then around for your night shifts/on call?

It sounds like the op is in a bit of a bind. To me the continuity of care thing sounds amazing but surely it's not going to work in reality. In a working world with holidays, Sickness
And shift patterns it does not fit with a case loading work load.

Hotchocy thank you for your kind assessment of me! I can assure you I am far from awful and I am extremely supportive of the women I care for, as I said earlier our team continuity is much higher than the set targets and I know my women well and always strive to achieve the best outcome for them. I simply cannot be with every women for every episode of care without detriment to my health and the wellbeing of my family. If I come across as ranty this comes from the stress and worry of how I will support my family if I cannot work in this model of care. I didn't not chose to enter the profession under coc and having worked so hard to gain the skills and experience I have it is frustrating and saddening to be in this position.

Just don’t give up OP

You have an invaluable skills
Policies change
Cheaper childcare can be found
Kids will grow older

Just hang on
In there and hope you got some useful advice and solutions

I had my first child overseas where the caseload midwifery model was the norm. I had all my appointments with the same two midwives, alternating each appointment. I went into labour and basically got whichever one was on call that day/night. She stayed the whole time and i was joined by another midwife from the same practice, no shift changes and changes of staff. All my post natal appointments were with the same two midwives. I can't lie, it was an amazing service and the continuity was invaluable as they both knew exactly what id been through and how i was coping. Both were fantastic at their jobs and clearly loved what they did. Getting to know them both over my pregnancy was great and made me way less nervous as a first time mother. Post natal care was made much easier as i was able to relax/confide in them about the feeding difficulties i was having much more than a stranger. I think for first time mothers this model of care is great. I'm not saying for one second it won't be difficult to implement, but having experienced it first hand (and having a 2nd baby in the UK) i can compare the two.

Don't get me wrong, the model of care is lovely. I'd hooe to be able to join it one day. But it isn't something that everyone can do. So suddenly we are what? Surplus to requirements? All that expertise gone for nothing?

Ex pays the princely sum of £200 a month with a deduction of earnings from CMS as he refused to pay. It goes nowhere and is unreliable as he can wriggle out of it by changing jobs. I just use it for niceties as it is not a reliable form of income.

I don't want to derail but worried if I started another thread it would be a TAAT and deleted. Could a midwife explain what this COC is meant to look like for patients please? And how the powers that be expect it to work? (I know in reality whatever this might be very different!). Genuinely curious.

I saw the same part-time midwife for all my ante-natal appointments, just scheduled them on her days in. If I couldn't have done that, I'd just have seen someone else, and also when she was on AL I saw a different midwife. It was great seeing her each time, although I wondered with so many patients how much she'd remember me anyway. I certainly didn't expect to see her in labour, nor do I think that would have especially helped! What might have been nice would be seeing her at home when the baby was born, but I moved areas so was under a different team and am not sure whether I'd have seen her otherwise. Does this sound like a COC model? I think she did one day a week in hospital but I'd assumed (naively probably) that was just to keen her skill set up to date. As I said, I certainly wasn't expecting to see her in labour!

I hope you can find a solution OP. I have lots of family members who work for the NHS and the way they are treated is truly appalling.

I find it odd that someone upthread says that most midwives don't have children ...that is certainly not the case where I am. Some don't but majority do.

Sorry if this has already been covered, but can't you apply for flexible working within the shifts to facilitate your childcare? I worked set shifts when my dc were tiny and had a good childminder, which was a lifesaver.

Working tax credits etc - have you claimed everything you & your family are entitled to ?

Anything that go towards offsetting the cost of childcare?