To feel let down and angry

[snowman72]

I feel I've had a hell of a year and I'm just reflecting on it and feel so annoyed with people and how unlucky we've been too.

My mum died a few years ago of lung cancer on Mother's Day, that was probably the worst thing I went through as she was so young, it seemed so unfair. Then my dad died of the same disease he died last year after watching him suffer and deteriorate it was horrendous and so hard as he lived 200 miles away so with having children to get to school and look after it was really stressful. He died on Xmas day in the end, it was awful also because I was getting married and I knew he wouldn't be there to walk me down the aisle, I wouldn't have mum there to help me, then my best friend moved to France and just seemed to drop me, she had her own life to sort and create and she just became distant, she said she couldn't come to my wedding due to finances and living in another country then a few months later posted on Facebook she was coming over to the uk for a dance event and was meeting up with various people, it hurt I wasn't included or thought about.
Then my only sister fell out with me, we were never that close really but my dad was probably the glue. She didn't come to our wedding nor did she show any interest at all. In amongst all this my youngest step daughter (13) told me she hated me and she doesn't have to be nice to me because I'm just someone who dates her dad and god knows why!!! I felt so upset and wasn't sure she'd even be bridesmaid but in the end she was. My 12 year old son walked me down the aisle and my dd and my 2 step daughters were bridesmaids.

However a week before our wedding my now husband had a heart attack and nearly died, I sat with him in the hospital holding his hand hoping he'd pull through, he did and some how I really don't know how he made it to the wedding! As lovely day as it was I was almost wishing the day over with so I could nurse him back to health! We had to cancel our honeymoon we'd planned for 2 years. I know it's not the end of the world as we could do it when he's recovered.

I just feel so angry I hate my sister for letting me down and not being there, I hate my friend of 30 years who just dropped me at my most vulnerable time. Why did my mum and dad have to leave me!

My husbands prognosis isn't good as he had so much damage to his heart, I worry I will loose him too, but I should be grateful I have 2 fabulous dcs and my husband and his family and other good friends but I don't feel grateful I feel angry and sad . My dd is doing her GCSEs I have no one to be proud of her or listen to her and advice her, just me, her dad is not great at this and more interested in his gf! I feel alone even though I'm not! Aibu?

You poor woman, that's one shit year. Hang on in there, you haven't really had much time to get over any of it. Take your time with everything, let yourself grieve, and find somebody in real life to talk it out with, (appreciate you might be trying not to stress your husband out). Your daughter has her lovely mum, so don't worry too much about her Be kind to yourself

Bloody hell, YANBU. Our dont know I can Say other than I genuinely hope things get easier for you

So sorry to hear all of this, it's been a very hard time for you.
What caused the fallout with your sister? Are you talking again now?
As for your friend (term used lightly) the saying who needs enemies when you have friends like this springs to mind.
Ultimately you may have to resolve yourself to the fact you can't change people, but you can change with the way you deal with the situation.
Try to make contact with your sister, she is the only blood family you have left, she is also is the same situation as you loosing both parents so therefore the ideal person to understand you feelings.
Take each day as it comes and make many beautiful memories with your husband and children. Whilst illnesses especially those with not a good prognosis are terrifying, no one knows what the future holds or what tomorrow will bring, many healthy people die everyday in unexpected accidents.
Focus on the positive and enjoy your life as it is right now. Whilst you have been through many sad times in the past couple of years, there are also so many great things in your life, don't let them pass you by unnoticed.

Others have said UANBU but I wanted to say it too. Stay strong, things will get better

@purpleboy I am in touch with my sister by text, it's a start but I feel annoyed with her still, she should understand how I feel but she seems happy to have her own life and not really have me involved. I've never been to her house, this is my second marriage, she didn't come to my first wedding either but I was bridesmaid for her. Her partner and my husband don't particularly get on so that doesn't help. We fell out over quite a few things, too much to tell and difficult to tell but she just pushed me away more and more and when I got upset she said I was making a big fuss about nothing. We are basically different but I do know mum and dad would want us to be friends but she just wants to be her, her partner and her daughter. Not a lot I can do, I don't really understand her. Especially when my husband is close to his brother and family and I see others getting together at Xmas. This xmas I visited Jim's family, saw no one related to me and just watched others posting pictures of their own family gatherings. I had to privately go have a cry on Xmas day. Pathetic I know

Stupid things upset me though like tonight out with the kids and dp and his mum. His mum is lovely btw and I have a good relationship with her, but when it comes down to it of course she will stand up for her son. I mean of course she would and it was only something small but I don't have that anymore, there's no one to be proud of me or my dcs. I'm finding it really hard to deal with that

Maybe she feels the same way you do, that there isn't much in common between you? It's hard to take when it's family, and I can image you feel very hurt by the rejections she has shown you in the past.

It must feel so lonely thinking you have no one to be proud of you both, but I bet your husband is and I'm sure your parents were too, even though they may not be with you now, take comfort from the fact you were loved by them and they wouldn't want you to be living an unhappy life. do you have close friends? Or other family members, cousins, aunts etc...?

It's not pathetic at all, these are your feelings and your entitled to feel that way, I imagine i certainly would. So many families don't get on, the whole idea of all gathering for Christmas probably fills most people with dread for one reason or another, these social media lifestyles are all faked to make people feel better about themselves, and the pictures... they probably all hate each other anyway

Yeh it's true what you say @purpleboy and thanks for your reply, there's really not a lot I can do about my sister, I do get on with things but sometimes it really upsets me. I have close friends yes and I've made new friends recently. You know my life really isn't that bad that's why I get annoyed with myself for being angry and upset. Let's hope it's a better year this year. I know things will still get to me though

Op, it’s not unusual to be angry with people who die and “leave” you. It’s not rational but it’s part of coming to terms with it.
You've had a rotten year. YAnbu Just take this year slowly, focus on home and be kind to yourself. Don’t expect too much.

The strange thing is my step dad recently got in touch and I thought oh that might be nice but all he's done is tell me about his health issues and how well his own dd and ds have done, I told him my husband had a heart attack before our wedding. All he said was oh that happened to me and told me all about it. I know he's old and probably lonely so I will listen but honestly do I really need someone else like that