To be a bit jealous of people with a religion?

[RinkeyDinkey]

It doesn't happen much. Today is my dad's birthday, he died a couple of years ago, I would love to think he was somewhere partying tonight with both his brothers. Instead, I'm just raising a glass in the general direction of his ashes. Happy memories of that crazy, funny and weirdly intelligent man.

Please don't try to convert me, I'm strictly atheist but massively appreciate the good side of religion and have worked with churches in my local community.

❤️❤️ for your dads memory today.

I feel the exact same as you.
I've done a lot of travelling and I've been lucky enough to visit some of the most beautiful important religious areas of the world. I completely respect each one, and always act/dress accordingly and am so interested in them.
I just think I question everything too much in religion. I don't understand how, for example, someone can say they felt their religion helped them get better when they were unwell. I just think if it made you better, it must have made you ill!! But...I think it must be such a comfort at times of struggle.

I agree. I was raised Catholic and wish I had the unwavering belief of my dad. I still go to mass but I question too much to feel as confident as others.

I hear you and I'm blessed I believe.

((Hugs)) for you today x

I sometimes feel like this, like if I had something that I believed in and loved so much as people do with their faith, I'd feel better about everything. Or maybe the fact if I did that I could attribute everything to someone else's will and not my own choices. I sometimes think it'd be so comforting to feel like you belong, no matter what.
But I don't believe in God and I'd feel like a hypocrite.
That said I do believe that some residue of life hangs around, to say I believe in ghosts or heaven and hell wouldn't be right, but there's something that I for one think is there but can't quite grasp.

I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad 💐🍷raise your glass and enjoy.

I can appreciate how it gives comfort. When someone else close to me died, I took comfort from the fact that she thought she was going to a better place, was absolutely convinced, I'm hoping it was a small comfort to her. Just feeling melancholy tonight, it's been a shit week!

YANBU OP and to you for losing your Dad.

I’ve offered thought this about religion. I respect people who have that kind of faith I guess. And I can see the plus sides of being religious.
I’d say I was agnostic I guess.

While religion may offer some comfort, I don't envy religious people.

The time, emotional and, in some cases, financial investment people make would not be worth it for me. I'd rather have my Sunday mornings free and deal with the emotions of death, when I can't avoid thinking about it.

My family are very religious- me not so much.

My father and brother died when I was 14 our family seemed to split into devout Catholics to not at all.

I wouldn’t call myself religious but also not atheist.

I agree with winebottle religion is dam hard work and I would not choose it. One of my friends brothers recently took his own life and I was scared to tell my sister incase she insinuated he would be going to hell!

There maybe comfort in believing out there somewhere but the facts are the memories and love are real in yourself, you don’t need to believe anything else for that to be true.

I am sorry your feeling sad, it’s hard but I think religion can cause more upset than comfort sometimes.

Yes, I suppose I am massively cherry picking the good bit that I know.

Absolutely. To be so certain and feel guided by faith must be such a reassurance. However, sadly, I just don't buy it.

I understand how you feel.

My mum isn't religious but she is spiritual. She'll say things like "your dad made that happen", or "your dad is watching out for you". Or the dog is looking over to a corner and she'll say my dad must be sat there etc etc

But every time it just makes me think "erm noooo he's dead and when you're dead that's that....!"

I just let her comments wash over me. It's obviously a coping mechanism for her, and she needs it I guess. I don't say anything.

But I have had moments where I have thought about how comforting it'd be to believe he was up there waiting and that I'd see him again someday.

My sister has also stayed married longer to someone who has made her miserable for years purely of fear of how she would be judged at church!

Luckily turned out he has been having an affair so she can leave with no repucussion from the church.

It some ways it’s comfort some ways it shackles you. I have seen both sides, I don’t want to be a judgmental person living a life I hate to conform to others ideals!

I have a brother who genuinely thinks being gay is deviant and a mental illness that can be ‘cured’ he lives abroad so I don’t have to deal with him. If it wasn’t for religion his kind nature (which he used to have) would not be stifled by needing to judge others due to some text written thousands of years ago!

All anyone can do is be kind and live your life the best you can. I have lived and breathed religion my whole life and only 30% has been a positive experience. It really isn’t all that!

Atheism allows you the freedom to take your spirituality in any form that appeals to you. You find your own way and your own path. Raise a drink, take a walk, remember him in your own way.

I'm an atheist, but I find something walking with a camera in my hand.

Hello

Really sorry to hear that you are finding it tough on the anniversary of your father's death. Just wanted to say that Catholic priests are always happy to talk to believers and non-believers alike and there won't be any pressure to get you to convert.

I find my religion a great pleasure. I still feel acute grief (just as Jesus felt grief over the death of Lazarus) and nothing on earth will ever stop that feeling. However, I do feel lots of hope mixed with it. My religion isn't a bind on me as many of our moral laws are just part of being a good person. I look forward to worshipping God on Sundays because of my beliefs so it's not a chore as such. I also wouldn't ever consider someone as being in hell for suicide. There are many conditions to sin and it is way way way above my pay grade to decide God's final judgements on another soul.

Hope you find the peace that you are looking for.

Thank everyone, feeling better today and my usual self. It's good to see what others think.

I'm like you too but I cherry pick at heaven lol! Also o love the poem do not stand by my grave and weep .... it reminds me that in science we're reduced back to carbon molecules and we can then become anything carbon based when we die

I'm with you on this one. I'm a complete atheist, but when my Dad and my best friend died a few years ago, I so wanted them to be going "somewhere else", somewhere where I could meet with them again one day.

On any other day I have no difficulty in saying that when we die we go back to where we came from , not to heaven , but on the anniversaries of their deaths I do wish it was different.